Peanut butter is a food group, right?

By Melissa

Last fall my husband, who has always been the most patient and tolerant man I've ever known, began to express ... loudly ... his dissatisfaction with my end of the bargain.

My end of the bargain is the part where I stay at home and take care of the house and the kids and maybe put a meal on the table at the end of the day. This may sound ridiculously traditional but the truth is, when we had kids we each signed up for a job in this family.

Both the jobs are hard and rewarding and both jobs wear us out and fill us up in some very important ways. Both our jobs are equally important for the survival of this family and we both have to do our jobs well.

When Logan first began to complain about the fact that after a 10- to 12-hour day he was walking in the house to cook dinner each night, I felt defensive. I didn't stay at home so I could cook and clean! I stayed at home to raise these kids and that's my first priority! What is this, the '50s? Why are you oppressing me?

But then, over time, I began to realize if I was going to be a stay-at-home mother then this was part of my job and if I didn't want this job then I needed to get a job outside of this house.

A job outside of the house wasn't entirely an option until very recently, so in the meantime I learned how to cook! It wasn't that I didn't know how to cook, it was that I'd look at the contents of my refrigerator and pantry and I'd never be able to create a meal out of its contents no matter how complete the offerings.

I'm simply not talented in the kitchen. Left on my own I would eat cheese and crackers and spoonfuls of peanut butter every day. But it turns out I have these two small children who must have balanced meals and they must have them every night.

We went to a wedding and while chatting with another mother at the reception I mentioned how it had been an 'issue' in my home that although I stay at home full time, I've never been able to put dinner on the table on a regular basis.

She said, "What you need is a crockpot ... because then you'll have your meal going while you're having cocktails with the playgroup moms and dinner will be ready by the time you get home!"

I fell a little bit in love with her in that moment.

Comments

[Rayne of Terror]

I subscribe to savingdinner.com where Leanne provides the grocery list and the recipes 6 nights a week. For $30 a year you can choose vegetarian, regular, low carb for 2 or 6. The meals are so varied but never take longer than 1/2 hour to make, it's like eating at a restaurant. Also she includes one crock pot meal per week.

[Teddie]

Wow, did this hit me at the right time. I just made the transition to SAHM, and have a husband who cooks every night. To make matters worse, he's practically gourmet-level.

My strategy is to ask my friends to forward all their easy weeknight recipes, and go dust off my never-been-used crockpot! We've also decided he can make his seven hour roasts or 100 spice chicken on the weekend, and hopefully we'll get leftovers out of it.

Can I recommend the Mark Bittman book, "How to Cook Everything"? It's really been helpful to this peanut butter eater. And if you have any great recipes, send them my way:)

[nanay2angels]

I've just tried this new service - dream dinners where you can prepare a whole month's set of meals in one afternoon in their kitchen. They provide everything and clean up after you. Then you just pick out what you want for dinner that day, let it thaw, put it in the oven and ta-daa! dinner is ready.
Check them out, it might be helpful.
http://dreamdinners.com

[Liz]

That reminds me... must pick up something for dinner tonight. How about crockpot chicken and dumplings?

[Nicola]

My husband and I do this in reverse, and I have to say that as a woman, I see his stay at home role differently. We split household chores just as we did when we both worked. I do the bathrooms and dusting, he does the floors. He cooks, I clean up the kitchen afterwards. I do laundry when I come home in the evening, he does the ironing. Just because he's home during the day doesn't make him any more responsible for the household than he was when we both worked.

He has a full time job. His name is Kellan, he's 11 months old and full of mischief. I get to relax at my desk all week. Its me who feels guilty at the end of the day!

[Kim]

Crockpots are a wonderful thing!! Easy to cook with, delicious meals and frugal too.
I have a friend though who won't use one because she is afraid her house will burn down while she's at work and has it cooking for her... I thought this was silly, but it's a belief her whole family has... Just shows how much we do pass onto our children.

[Lei]

Or you could live an expat life in Vietnam like me and have a maid. ;) To be honest, I'd rather have a crockpot and live in the U.S.!