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February 25, 2005



I am the mother of an only child (girl) who now has three children of her own. Boy-5, boy-31/2 and girl 1 week old. The second boy has had a behavioral problem since day one. He gets angry and acts out in defiant and destructive ways. I have tried to coounsel my daughter in following through with threats she gives him but somehow he knows his behavior is unacceptable and he charms her into forgetting about the punishment he so obviously deserves. He and the oldest also beat the crap out of each other and I an concerned about the newborn. I don't know how to help the situation as I live two hundred miles away from them. I try to see them as much as possible and take each child for a period of time so they each get special attention. Is this the right thing? I see my daughter stressed out all the time and she tells me constantly that the second boy is being so "bad" that she just wants to hit him.
Concerned Grandmother


My kids never really went through a hitting other kids phase- By other kids I mean kids not in our family. I really hated that they thought nothing of beating the crap out of each other, but at McDonalds playland in a group of strangers? Nope. They got bullied and pushed around all the time.

Robin P

Maybe he can give Lillianna some pointers!! She is so damn passive at times.We try to tell her to fight back but she doesn't want to hurt anyone. Well, I don't want HER to get hurt!!!! Is there a happy medium??


Kiddo#1 went through the same thing when he was this age. I couldn't figure it out since we try to have a very non-violent and peaceful house. There was a LOT of talking about his actions, what they would do to other kids. One day, my sister was over with my neices and nephews and my nephews who is a few years older saw kiddo#1 hit my neice and immediately told him that "big" boys don't hit and explained why. Kiddo#1 looks up to his cousin a lot and after that, he stopped his hitting behavior. Whew!

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