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February 15, 2005


Mama Sarah

You're afraid she is going to be like you, BUT SHE IS LIKE YOU; she has half your genes. You are trying to fix something you don't like about YOURSELF vicariously through her, but I'm afraid all it may say to her is that she is not likable either. My guess is: you both are pretty terrific.


Here's a view from the other end of things. My boy is about the same age and very easy going. Kids are always snatching toys away from him, and he doesn't really care. And if HE's not unhappy about it, it doesn't bother ME (although I reckon I'm going to have to teach him to stand up for himself a bit at some point...)

But the other kids' MOTHERS...! You are absolutely NOT alone in being anxious when your child does this. Some of them come down on their kids really hard, and I'm never quite sure how to react. I know kids have to learn to share, but if MY boy wasn't upset, it doesn't have to be such a big trauma.

Maybe the answer is to temper your response so it is proportional to the amount of upset caused. Watch the other child's reaction. If the other kid doesn't seem bothered, simply tell your daughter in a quiet voice that so-and-so was playing with that and she needs to ask, or whatever. No point swooping in and being the cause of all the upset yourself.

And don't sweat it if not everybody likes her. That's inevitable, even for the compliant and sweet-tempered among us. You can channel that "pushiness" into "assertiveness", and it will serve her well later in life.


I guess wanting our children to be perfect is a normal trait. But, not allowing our children to be who they are, or allow them to learn by themselves is a BIG mistake. I-belle is only 18 mos old, she is at a prime exploration time in her life. She is just becoming consciously aware of her surroundings. She is just learning that every act has a consequence. Don't take this away from her.

It seems as though you are somebody who needs constant approval from others. Just remember NOBODY is perfect. And more importantly, don't allow what other's may think or not of you be a driver of how you raise your child. NEVER. The funny thing is, more often than not, people are so busy with their own life that they have little time to deal with other's.

Chill! Enjoy your daughter and allow her to enjoy you, and life!

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