Everyday pearls

By Cooper

One of the things that struck me when I entered the secret society of motherhood was how quickly and easily mundane, everyday conversations with other mothers can, every so often, turn -- like from 0 to 60 -- into deep discussions about hopes and dreams and philosophies.

Recently, for instance, as I was getting my teeth cleaned, the dental hygienist was talking about teeth whitening, and in the next breath confided in me her wish for her two young children. 

"I say a prayer every night that my kids go through life with an imaginary hedge around them. The little bad things can get through -- so they can learn from them -- and the big bad things stay out."

Isn't that beautiful?

She also shared another wish: that the partners her children will choose to share their lives with someday are having happy childhoods too.

Wow.

And then there was the conversation I had in the grocery checkout line with the mom of three 20somethings. She said, shortly after complimenting the potted plant I was buying, "It can be a tough struggle with kids sometimes, but the best thing to do is stick to what you know is best for your child. They won't like it, and it may cause some fights, but it all works out for the better."

Or the mother of teenagers who said during a passing chat in a hallway, "If I had it all to do over again, I would cherish family time more and not let my kids do so many sports. We are never together because there is always a practice or game or something else scheduled." 

I also remember the remark one mom made during a phone conversation, "Parents need to let their kids make mistakes."

For all the valuable, pearls of wisdom I have heard in my time as a mom, I am also struck by the occasional "drive-by" remarks moms can make to one another.

At school recently a group of moms got to talking about nighttime routines. One of the mothers said her family all crawled in bed together every night to read a book. After she left, another mother said, "That is the worst idea I have ever heard."

Huh?

I read recently that parents desperately need, but don't often get, support and reassurance. Although the "one size fits all" theory of life never applies to parenting (nor should it), I would take the comfort and knowledge from other parents willing to share their well-earned wisdom, philosophical thoughts and "big picture" observations over the pettiness of competitive mommy-ing any day. How about you?

Comments

[sarah]

Those petty attacks are so awful. Parents do need encouragement, especially from each other. Who else could possibly understand how desperately we want to do what's best for our kids?

The sharing of truths and wisdoms about the big picture are what we do need. It is so nice when the other members of the Secret Society make us feel welcome and cheer us on.

[RobinP]

I may not agree with certain things other parents do but I don't say anything. Everyone does what works for their family and who am I to say it isn't right?
If someone didn't agree with me I wouldn't change a thing.The off-handed rude comments aren't necessary and for some reason,there are people in this world who feel we really want to hear their opinion. Count me out!

[Gina]

Parents need encouragement too, and the good ones often get overlooked. Tell a mom or dad that they are doing a great job sometime!

[juliebarbour]

Oh yes, the big picture over the pettiness any day.