My mother didn't have to worry about this!

By Suzanne

How many of you kept a diary when you were a teenager?

I kept one. It was full of my private thoughts about my "mean" older sister, the boys I liked, the blatant unfairness of my parents, and my latest shopping expeditions. It was Top Secret. 

I hid it in various locations -- under my mattress, beneath clothes in a drawer, in the back of my closet. I never let anyone see it. 

Years later, I read portions of it to my husband -- the parts from when we first dated (we met just before my 15th birthday) -- and we laughed. But I've never let him touch it on his own. There are some pages I don't want even him to see. Still!

My daughter is nine, and she has a diary. She writes in it about how "mean" her older brothers are, and she draws pictures of horses. She lets me see it. Her thoughts aren't that secret yet. But soon, I know that will change. She'll have secret thoughts she doesn't want to share with her mother. Like about how blatantly unfair her parents are, no doubt. Not to mention the boys she likes.

Girls (or boys) keeping diaries is certainly nothing new, but today there are more options than when I was a teenager. A diary doesn't have to be hidden under the mattress or beneath clothes in a drawer or in the back of the closet. It can be placed in plain sight on the Internet, where even there it might be hidden from parents' prying eyes if they don't know about it.

In our house, we keep a strict watch on our kids' Internet time. They have a computer in the den for their use but it's restricted to games and homework. There is no Internet access from that computer. If they use the computers in the house that do have Internet access, they have to ask permission and be logged on by a parent and supervised. But of course we all know our children have access to computers and the Internet through other sources -- their friends' homes, libraries, schools, and when they're old enough to drive, Internet cafes.

Where will our children keep their secret diaries? Teenagers are blogging in growing numbers, and with the explosion of free and easy blogging communities, anyone with almost zero technical skills can have a blog up and running in a matter of minutes. Teen blogs contain all the same joy, angst, and therapeutic ponderings of friendships and love as our old-fashioned notebook diaries we hid under our beds -- but the big difference is, who is reading them and are teens protecting themselves from both the physical and the emotional dangers of revealing too much?

I hope that as my daughter grows older and more independent that she'll tell me if she starts a blog. But I have to admit, there's a chance she won't. Looking back on my teenage diary, I remember too well that I didn't want my parents to see it, though if the Internet had been available, I might have been tempted to put it online as a blog for my friends to read and comment on.

So now there's one more item to add to my List of Things to Warn My Children About on the Internet.

How do you feel about the prospect of your teenager someday starting a blog?

Comments

[amy s.]

Good question. writing is an outlet for me, so i hope it will be for my daughter if she enjoys it. i think it will be pretty common for kids and teens to have blogs when she's older, since it's popular now. most of it seems pretty harmless.

[Jill]

I have three girls and I'm just not ready to face all the terror ahead, LOL. All three of my girls keep journals by their bed. I have no idea how I'd feel if they wanted to do a blog that anyone could access, but I'd be worried.

[Jill]

I have three girls and I'm just not ready to face all the terror ahead, LOL. All three of my girls keep journals by their bed. I have no idea how I'd feel if they wanted to do a blog that anyone could access, but I'd be worried.

[Lisa Barker]

I don't think I'd encourage my daughter to have a blog. I think there are a lot of predators out there.

A diary or journal is truly private--blogs aren't.

Even I don't get too personal in mine. Just a matter of precaution and common sense.

Good thought provoking question!

[RobinP]

Well,thanks a heap,Suzanne.(try to imagine my bitter sarcastic tone in that sentence!!) I never thought about this until you brought it up....lol. Damn!!

At this point,Lillianna has several diaries. She likes when I secretly write in a page about how much I love her and how wonderful I think she is. She leaves it open for me to write in....lol.

She has posted on my blog twice already but that is a far cry from an "I love/hate _____" online diary in the future.

Now I have a headache!!

[mary beth]

DD spends a lot of time online for school and for fun. She has a blog, but it's more like a great work of fiction. She doesn't use her name and the experiences she writes about are more Princess Diaries than reality. I keep telling her she needs to write a book. She NEVER uses her real name when posting something that will last forever online. We're kind of worse case scenario thinkers around here. She and I both work on the assumption that the absolute worse thing you can think of could be lurking right around the corner.
What I really wonder about are the IMs with friends.

[kacey]

I posted about this very topic on my blog last month. Don't know if links work in these comments but
teen bloggers If that doesn't work, it was my March 10th entry.

It's scary! A USA Today article quoted that 52% of blogs are started by kids 10-19 years old! 10!!

Good article, Suzanne. I think this is something that parents should be aware of and keep an eye out for. And hope your kids don't know how to erase the history in the browser, so you can find out where they've surfed to when you've turned away from watching them for like 2 seconds.

[Margery]

I started a diary once, but it only lasted a few weeks. I kept forgetting My boys never kept journals (that I knew of) and the word 'blogging' didn't even exist when they were teens. In a way, I think I was lucky. It's a little scary to think of all these young people pouring out their hearts on the internet for any and all to see.

[Katie]

When my ten year old logged onto the internet the other day, I teased her, "Watch out for dirty old men looking for pretty little girls on line." And she rolled her eyes at me and said, "Oh, Mom, that only happens on tv." Yikes!
She may be more computer literate than I am, but watching her every move while she's checking out who's winning in American Idol polls is still more than vital. Scary!!!!
I could so see her blogging - one more thing to worry about.