The diaper diaries

By Lana

It's been three months since my baby was born, and about once a week or so something makes me realize that there's no turning back, and no time off for good behaviour on this parenthood adventure.

Yesterday, for example, I was changing my baby's diaper when I suddenly thought: I've got to do this EVERY SINGLE DAY for probably two more years at least.

Two years. Two years or more of being up close and personal with my son's bowel movements. One hundred-plus weeks of dressing, undressing, keeping fingers crossed that a leakage won't occur, dodging de-diapered pee streams, grasping flailing legs, wiping a wee bum. With a very conservative estimate of four changes a day, that amounts to nearly 3,000 diapers, 6,000 baby wipes and an untold quantity of excrement to deal with.

One little baby bottom. One big job. It's God's little joke on humans that our species doesn't have an innate "self-cleaning" ability, like cats do.

I figure, however, I could look at the many hours of diaper changing ahead of me as a dreary slog, or instead try to think about what I can learn from the task. So what life lessons can be gained through dirty diapers?

For one, it's a great reminder that no matter how much order you try to keep, things can get a little messy. Problems can be handled a number of ways: soaked a while and dealt with later, ignored and left to fester, or tossed out with abandon.

And the most simple lesson of all? If it stinks, change it.

Yes folks, I'm on a path to enlightenment, one diaper at a time.

Comments

[maria]

Have to agree w/Amy about more enlightenment coming w/potty training!!! OMG the stories.

Now see, I've been watching my 5 year old prance around naked thinking, soon I won't get to see his cute little butt, soon I'll never get to see him naked, soon he'll be too big to be my baby. He's so beautiful, I'm sort of dreading the day when privacy/modesty takes over (as appropriate as that is - I hope that doesn't sound too weird!)

Enjoy!

Maria
3 kiddos 5, 3 and 10 mos (I don't even dare to count the number of diapers in my past or future!)

[amy s.]

More enlightenment comes in the form of potty training. Great post. :)

[john]

It might be three years. If you have another child, like I did, it could be five. And just wait until the first time he vomits on you -- real, sick to his stomach vomit. That's living. :-)

[mgood]

Ha! I'm thinking back six months ago. I am er..was a jeweller. I felt the same way too. I'd sit there and wail "I u...u...used to handle a department that gg...ggge...generated half a mi...mi...million dollars a year and now all I do is change poopy duh...duh...diaperrrrrrrrrrrs!" Now, here it is, a year into it and all I can think is, "Damn, the sofa has a big dent in it from where I've been sitting and nursing and napping and reading to her all year."

[Lisa Barker]

This is a great blog! I just discovered it today and I'm sooo happy to find such a wealth of good blog entries from so many moms...not to mention the amazing links selection to other blogs.

I'll definitely be back to read more--thank you!

[Peyton]

That was a great post - it put a big smile on my face. I'm 3 months ahead of you in the diaper-changing duty (Ella is six months old)...wait till you get to solids! SO GROSS! :-)

[Kat]

My dad has always told me he fully expects me to take care of him in his old age and I quote: "I wiped up your dirty bum when you were a kid...now it's your turn to wipe mine." Hehe..

[patrice]

I hate being one of those people that always tells you how good you have it and all, but as a mother to both a 5 month old and a 12 year old, I can tell you that I honestly feel like the days that I wiped my older son's butt feel like a blink of an eye. they always say "enjoy it now, it goes so fast" and they say that for a reason...

[andrea]

It hasn't been that long since we got out of diapers and bid adieu to the wipes at our house. But it wasn't all just work for me. I'm fortunate to be married to a fellow who did not shirk diaper duty. Well, there was the odd time we flipped a coin.... But I definitely don't miss the days when we'd sniff our children's butts to see if they were poopy.

I saw someone do that the other day (but in that case it was a lift n' sniff) and I thought THANK GOD that's not me anymore! It really is kinda gross to sniff someone's butt. :)

[Cathy]

What a great post! Thanks for the chuckle.

[amy]

A tip from the mother of 3 boys. Put one of those very useful clothes diapers over his little fire hydrant, and then he won't get you in the eye.

From the mom who had to paint the wall before she figured that one out.

[Mama Sarah]

And we will never even get a "thank you" until, possibly, when they are wiping the butts of their own children and, perhaps, take a moment to reflect. There should be a butt-wiper appreciation day. Think of the endless possibilities for greeting cards! "Thank you for not dropping me when I barfed in your lap; and for caring enough to not make me sit in my own crap."