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May 04, 2005



I have the same problem, only my daughter is 22 years old. I was skinny in high school and became overweight after the birth of my girls. When my oldest was a senior I finally did something about it. I lost 75 lbs. That was 10 years ago. During that time, I have struggled with an eating disorder. I became obsessed with my weight, keeping track of it in ounces, rather than pounds. My youngest daughter, the 22 year old, is not huge. She's a size 12, but I have to stop myself from saying the same thing my mom said to me when I was heavy..."You'd be such a pretty girl if you weren't so heavy". What a horrible thing to do to a child, even if she is 22. I applaud your concern for your daughter's body image. I too am doing the best I can to not be my mom!


If you find out that answer, let me know. My 8 yr old is active, tough, athletic and stout, but so was I. When I turned 13 and got thighs, hips, and big boobs, also came the depression, low self esteem and life long weight/body issues. Even at 34, I deal with it daily - and I run daily, play womens soccer and am not overweight. But it is an obsession and Im never happy with myself. I hope when I turn 40 (or earlier!) I too will stop the madness, LOL. But...I see my now 8 yr old eating too much junk food (by choice) no matter how much I insist on her eating healthy foods. I fear for her, especially in this day and age.


My girls are fine in terms of their weight, but I also don't want them to inherit my body issues.

I won't use the word "diet" around my children.

We just try to eat well and keep them moving (soccer, swimming, etc) ... and when we go on a hike or something we tell it's because it's fun, and not because we want to stay slim. I think if you give them a healthy start in life they won't have problems later on. It's all you can do!


It's great that you're sensitive to projecting your issues onto your daughter. I think the most important thing is to not use the line, "You don't want to end up looking like me." My mother (who is 5'2" and dangerously overweight at over 250 lbs.) used that line on me my entire childhood & into my young adult years. I was teeny tiny, size 2 or 4, but I would still worry about gaining weight, muscle tone, etc. It wasn't until I met my husband and had my daughter that I realized a size 8 was OK, too.

I think what you're doing about making sure she eat healhy foods and gets exercise is great, though.

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