Playing Barbie

By Suzanne

Recently, my daughter implored me to come upstairs and play Barbies with her in her room. She has no "girl" friends in the neighborhood since she had that big fight with Savannah and told her she was NOT GOING TO BE HER FRIEND ANYMORE.

Now, I haven't played Barbies in a long time and when I posted about this experience on my personal blog, I was fascinated by the responses from other women about their own Barbie-playing days. I thought I didn't know how to play Barbies anymore, that I'd forgotten. But in truth, I think I'd just forgotten what playing really is.

When I went up to my daughter's room that day, she had all her Barbies set up in the Dream House and they all had names. Currently, they're sporting names from characters in "The Nanny" because that is her show du jour.

She said, "Play!" I said, "But I don't know how to play. I'm not 9, you know!" She said, "But you had Barbies when you were little." I pointed out that was a long time ago, plus MY PARENTS WERE MEAN AND I ONLY HAD ONE BARBIE, NOT 50 LIKE YOU. (And she only has two Kens. Man, those are some lucky Kens, living in the Dream House with 50 Barbies...) But she insisted, so I played.

First, I sent the mom and dad Barbie off on a date, leaving the other Barbies home with the babysitter. Then babysitter Barbie called her boyfriend. Next thing you know things were were turning pretty steamy in the Dream House. This is what happens when a romance writer tries to play Barbie.

I said, "I had better go." And she was crying, "BUT I LOVE HOW YOU PLAY, MOMMY." Which left me sort of blinking... But I don't know how to play.

My daughter, the expert on playing since she is, after all, a child, thinks I do know how, and it made me re-evaluate. 

When I spoke with other women about this, I found that they recalled similar scenarios in their own Barbie play. Bad Barbie wasn't unusual at all. Their Barbies were involved in multiple relationships, breakups, and divorces. Barbie was kidnapped, mutilated, tortured, and often naked. Barbie was basically living in soap opera land. And what do many of us do when we grow up? Watch soap operas!

Once I related Barbie play to soap operas it all suddenly made sense to me. Play, for kids, is in some ways practice for being grown-up, but it's also an indulgence in other behaviors -- from a fantasy standpoint -- they know they would never do but are "allowed" to do with Barbie. 

Transporting ourselves to other lives and experiences, sometimes super-dramatic and even illicit, is the same thing we do as grown-ups when we read books and watch movies and TV.

So the next time my daughter asks me to play, I won't say I don't know how. Hey, I watched "All My Children" for 20 years! My Barbie's name is going to be Erica Kane.

Suzanne has been married for over 20 years and lives in small-town North Carolina.  She has three school-aged children.

Comments

[kayla]

hehe im 15 and i love playing barbies :) school and house haha good times

[teagan]

im a 13 year old and i play sims alot. when you play it theres not alot of things to do sowhen you play barbies you get to create their personalitys and values.it was sorta funny when we used a cardboard box as an airplane when they crashed or when it rain and flooded a bit and we lost a child in the ditch

[Lauren M. Witham]

I'm a 32 year old, and I still love playing with Barbies! Sadly enough, all of my friends have outgrown them... (sniff) That, however, doesn't stop me from continuing though... Barbie has taken me on many an adventure, and, at times when I was a child, was my only friend... My imagination hasn't changed that much from when I was a child, but I gues the content has...lol.. I play games of all sorts from modern times to medeivel... I like playing westerns, science fiction, fantasy, hood games, all of them have a hint of everything in it.. Keeps the imagination soaring! I especially love the games that are forbidden loves and games that put them through moral dilemas... I always had a hard time playing the main guy though... Never could quite capture his character without making him look like an idiot or a jerk! I mainly played the main girl, the main guys best and loyal friend (who would fall in love with my friends girl, and they would have their little subplot aswell), the main villian (though I would scare my friends or anger them with those characters, 'cause they were really evil and vendictive), the sleezy girls (my way of putting that lightly), the kids, and whomever else... I loved playing lots and lots of characters... I really would love to play again! So if any of you live in the state of Florida, or close enough, let me know!

Big hugs!

Lauren

[email protected]

[Taylor]

Hi, my name is Taylor Stevens, and I am 16 female from Tenessee. I loved playing barbies when I was younger. If Ken looked at another woman, then Barbie would always smack him unhesitantly and harshly. My Barbie always wanted all the attention to be on her. Playing barbies was so much fun. Barbie was even mean to Skipper and her friends and often times she was quite prejudice too. Soap operas are a good way to learn how to play with Barbies. Just make them act meaner and more extreme. Slap, kick, hit toss, etc. The Flip N Dive Barbie can actually kick. I think that's pretty cool. My cousin owns her and one day we was playing Barbies and I made Flip N Dive Barbie kick Ken right in the crotch. Lol. We had so much fun.
Boy, Barbie brings back alot of fun memories!

[Rachel]

I love playing Barbies still to this day and I am 17 yrs old and in high school. I love making Barbie act like the spoiled princess who never shares any of her stuff with anyone and uses the Kens/the boys for sex and other things like opening the door for her and getting her food and whatever else she wants, basically just spoiling Barbie rotten. That's how I always played with my dolls. Her friends Teresa, Christie and Midge always wanted to wear Barbie's clothes, but being the selfish spoiled bitch that Barbie is, they sadly never got to. Barbie was high maintenance like Erica Kane in AMC. She always thought of herself all the time. And eventually in the end, she was left friendless. So my Barbie decided she probably ought to change her ways if she wanted to keep her friends.

[shania]

hey again babrie i have u in a barbie doll

[shania]

hey i would like you to see if i can like get barbie 2 know me and i love barbie its me and barbie... if so plz let me know bye sending me a um mess jus in

from shania
[email protected]

[Brittney]

hi, I'm 12 but when I (a long time ago) mine always had sernario's that were soap opera esc' I never had my mom to play with me because I always had my sister. As I got older (7yrs old) people casted barbies as "childish" in the hall ways in school people would be like "do you still play with barbies?" and of course you sould say "HELL NO!" well no was sufficent, but as I got older I still played with barbies, even though it was uncool, no one knew about but it was fun, as I got older (10yrs old) barbie and ken got into quite a few "steamy" situations.

my adivice is, if mom's want to re-live barbie days with your daughter, only have one daughter or get in it while there young. If my mom had played with me when i was 7 i would have omited her from the game completly, my sister was much more entertaining :)

[Tracy]

My 6 year old daughter wants me to play Barbies with her all of the time! The trouble is I didn't have Barbies or dolls as a girl, and I really don't know how! I like the soap opera angle, but don't want to have such "adult" plots in our "Barbie World." Any advice??? Thanks!

[Jentle]

I got into this fight with my fourth (?) grade teacher once because she started talking Barbie as a type-cast airhead... I remember I told her that if that's all Barbie was to her, it's because she didn't have a better imagination.

[Gina]

I've managed to avoid Barbie play duty so far, but in our house everything "talks" through the wonders of mom's "ventriloquism," including my daughter's character toothbrushes, any and all stuffed animals, and even food on occasion (although it gets creepy whem my daughter wants me to keep the conversation going even as the helpless food is chewed up, swallowed, and on its way to the stomach -- ("Hey, it's nice in here! And there's other food to play with! Let's have a party! Thanks for swallowing me!")

Kids love it when you make things comes to life for them.

[Tori]

My Barbies (and their extended families) always had soap opera lives, too. :)

[Mechele]

LOL my Barbies always had soap opera lives. My Mom was an avid soap opera watcher and I started watching early. This brought back a lot of memories.

[RobinP]

Hmmmm...makes me wonder why Lillianna never asks me to play Barbies with her. Maybe she thinks I don't have an imagination. But now that you have brought it up, I watched General Hospital in high school and college so I could come up with some good scenarios myself!!!
Maybe I will ask her to play today.