Don't make the mama bear mad

By Peyton

Last week, Ella's daycare called to say that she had been bitten by another baby. I guess I wasn't expecting to have to deal with this issue at this age (she's only 8 months old), so it caught me pretty off-guard. I stammered out, "OK, is she OK?" They said that the bite didn't break her skin, and but there was some bruising on her arm. It was already close to pick-up time, so I picked her up a little early. It was sad to see the mark on her arm, to know that she had been harmed by another child and I wasn't there to hold her and stop her crying. 

The daycare has a policy (as I think most do) of not telling you which child has bitten your child. I suppose this is to protect the biter and his/her parents from retaliation, and I certainly understand that. If Ella had been the child that had done the biting, I wouldn't want other parents to know that. Plus, they're babies -- not toddlers who can be disciplined and learn consequences. 

It's still hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I have no way of stopping this from happening again, save pulling her out of a daycare that has otherwise been wonderful. And there will surely be biters at every daycare, so that's really not a solution.

Then I realized that there will be situations like this at every age; she could be bullied in high school when I'm not there, she could be dumped by the love of her life, she could get injured playing sports. I can't always be there, but I can always comfort her afterwards. And if there IS a situation where I can prevent her from being harmed -- well, you don't want to make this Mama Bear mad.       

Peyton is Mommy to Ella, born October 2004, and wife to Colin. She lives outside of D.C. in Falls Church, Virginia.

Comments

[SHARON BEJARANO]

My granddaughter was just dismissed from her daycare for biting. We haven't had this problem before and don't know where she learned it. Now it seems to be "the thing" to do for her. What methods do you know of for stopping it? Would appreciate any ideas.

[SHARON BEJARANO]

My granddaughter was just dismissed from her daycare for biting. We haven't had this problem before and don't know where she learned it. Now it seems to be "the thing" to do for her. What methods do you know of for stopping it? Would appreciate any ideas.

[Robin P]

My first instinct while reading this post was to stomp over to your daycare and bite the staff. Ya, I know that's stupid but I could feel how stunned and sad you were that you couldn't have been there to prevent the biting and I wanted to lash out. You expect your child to be safe in daycare but things happen. I hate that!!

It's true. We can't protect our children from everything but we can be the boo-boo kisser and the one to give hugs and understanding after the fact. That's motherhood for ya!
If we can only survive it!

[tobey]

Thanks for your post. My baby is starting to bite at Mom and I at home (hard!), but it didn't occur to me that he'd be carrying that behavior to daycare. He's only just now begining to crawl, so he probably hasn't had the opportunity yet. Your post has encouraged me to talk to his daycare, as well as continue to find ways to curb this behavior.

[amy]

I keep thinking to myself, when things like this happen to Isabelle, that I KNOW she's doing some things that aren't always good (like pushing or not sharing) and I have to just shrug it off and say it comes with babyhood/toddlerhood. And yes, isn't it hard to think that we won't be able to go into our daughter's high school and bully the wench that is causing her pain. I just hope that Isabelle isn't the "wench" :)

You're doing great!! I love reading your posts!