A mother by any other name

By Ellen

So what do your children call you, and where, when and why?

I thought about this the other day when I realized my daughter was addressing me as "Madre." I think she picked that up from her brother, the Latin scholar in high school, but I could be wrong. I'll have to find out.

The fact that she called me "Madre" led me to ponder my children's other appellations for me.

Most of the time I'm "Mom," and that suits me just fine. I'm not like my own mother in that respect. She decreed long ago that she did not want to be called ANYTHING but the very formal "Mother," which I still use to this day. She was never a Mom or Mommy, but my kids call me by both those names. My son, who now lives in London, has branched out into Britishspeak by calling me "Mummy" or, occasionally, "Mum." It always tickles me.

My daughter says "MUUUUUU-ther" in tones of disgust when she is really annoyed with me for some reason, and I'm always aware of her feelings when that long drawn-out title comes forth. It's kind of like when you holler for your own children by their full names and they know they are in big trouble: "Come here right now, John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith!"

Both kids usually stick to "Mom." It's short, to the point and all-purpose; I usually pay attention to it; and it can be used in all social situations: "Meet my mom." "Mom, do you have some money for Starbucks?" And so forth.

Lately, however, a new form of address has crept in. I've noticed that when my daughter wants my undivided attention and doesn't believe she's getting it -– for example when we're in a crowd, or I'm trying to tune out the CD she insists on playing in the car, or I'm attempting to multitask (no mean feat when you're adult ADD) – she yells out "ELLEN!"

Startling, but it works. And now that she's 18 and beginning to evolve into young woman/friend as much as daughter, this new name may be the wave of the future. I'm not sure how I feel about that, though. There's something awfully sweet and may-never-come-again about the word "Mommy."

Ellen is a 50-year-old mother of two, stepmother of two, who lives in North Carolina with her family.

Comments

[Shannon]

My 11-year-old son still calls me Mommy in the privacy of our home or at family's houses, but Mom when addressing me in front of friends. For some reason he has it in his head that calling me Mom at home would be disrespectful. "It doesn't feel right," he says. Okay with me for now, but expect it to fade out with maturity. His father is still called Papa, too, which my husband started when our son was a baby. He's tried out Dad a couple of times, but says it too feels weird to him. BTW, I used my mother's name when she wouldn't answer, too. Sometimes I still have to do it when she's in public and "doesn't hear" me say MOM or MOTHER!

[new fathers]

What constitutes an Egyptian Dynasty? The definition of the word
dynasty refers to family; however, in Egyptian hystorical documents
the term dynasty seems to refer to something else. What is that
something else?

[Jessie]

I've called my parents "muv" (rhymes with love) and "farv" for almost as long as I can remember. It's different, and a bit old fashioned, but then what's in a name, eh?

[Nicola]

My son is 18 months old and still calls me "That". He refuses to say momma, mommy, mom, or anything similar. He points to me and says "That" when he wants me. He's been calling his father "Daddy" for about 6 months!

If I ask him just to say "Mommy" he'll laugh and shout, "Daddy!", so he does know what it means. And he sometimes forgets and begins to form the "M" sound with his mouth, before bursting out laughing and shouting "Daddy!" again. If I show him a photo of myself, he says "Puppo" (puppy). Heartwarming stuff.

[Melessa]

I just have to insert here that the proper Latin term for "mother" is "mater." Why? Because every once in awhile I need to prove that my BA in Latin wasn't completely pointless.

My kids are all under the age of 8, so I'm still "mommy" to all four. At least for a little while longer.

[Critter's Mom]

Critter mostly calls me mommy but occassionally calls me Alex (prounced a Lex, not Al ex) if both he and my mom are trying to get my attention.

Speaking of trying to get someone's attention in a crowd - if we are trying to get my dad's attention he doesn't respond to Gary but as soon as we yell "Dad" he immediately hears that. Odd, huh? LOL.

[Peyton]

My mother announced when I was about 8 and tried to call her "Mom" for the first time, that She Was Not A Mom. We were "allowed" to call her Mama or Mother (she prefered Mama) and to this day that's what I call her. Kind of odd for a grown woman with a daughter of her own to be calling her mother "Mama", hmm? When my daugher wants be to be Mom instead of Mommy or Mama, I'm sure that will be a little bittersweet, but I'll embrace it as a sign of her growing up.

[Julie]

When Tacy was almost two, she went through a phase of calling me Mommy Julie, which cracked me up. As if she had more than one mommy and needed to specify which one she was addressing.

[Robin P]

Lillianna calls me Mum or sometimes Mummy.She is 7 and I hope she continues to call me these cute names forever.
Mother is too formal although I also get the long dragged out form of Mother,just like you do,except I get an eye roll if she is really displeased with me.

I have been calling my mother Mummy for 42 years. She hates it. My sister has always called her Ma,which she prefers. I think it sounds like a sheep!! Maaaaaaa. I refuse to change now so she has to just accept it!!

[Kris]

My boys (5&3) still call me mama but I'm sure that will fade with the years. I'll miss it!

[kristin]

my kids (7 and 5) usually stick to mom or mommy.....

but my favorite is when my son calls me mama. it's so sweet, and is usually when he's feeling especially cuddly

my 5-year-old daughter had already mastered the art of the drawn out mooooommmmmyyyy accompanied by rolling eyes. not as fond of that!