Mommy blogger and proud of it!

By Jenn

A question that has been tossed around the Internet lately is "What is a Mommy Blog and who are considered Mommy Bloggers?" To me, a Mommy Blogger is a woman who writes a blog and has at one time or another written about her children. 

Some of these blogs document the daily lives of their children as well as the major milestones their children accomplish. Other Mommy Blogs cover a variety of topics including children, but the writing is not solely focused on motherhood and children. Of course, we also have the Mommy Blogger whose only mention of her children is in the context of how motherhood has an effect on her decisions, beliefs or personal stance on certain issues. Children are usually the only connecting factor linking most Mommy Blogs. They are as varied and unique as the women writing them.

I was recently honored to speak on the panel of Mommy Bloggers at BlogHer where I was thrilled to hear so many opinions on the use of this term. Some of these writers are bothered by the title of Mommy Blogger because they felt marginalized. They write about so many things, yet many of these women don't feel the term covers all that they are about. 

In addition, some felt the phrase was used in a derogatory manner. In fact, many of these women have been discounted as having a valid contribution as soon as the label "Mommy Blog" is attached to her writing. Although, there were a number of women I spoke with who were not bothered in the least by the label "Mommy Blogger." They felt that the term is only derogatory if you allow it to make you feel "less than." The general consensus was to embrace the term and make it our own. Make the term one that causes others to understand that we hold the power of the future.

"Why do you blog about your children?" I don't know many Mommy Bloggers who have not heard this question. The overwhelming response is this: not only so that these writers can look back on the fleeting moments of childhood captured so frequently online, but so that their children will have a written record -- in a rather informal format -- they can look back on years later. Who has not wished at one point or another that she could get into the mind of her mother to see what she really thought (including the real emotions that come with the job on a day to day basis)? For most of us, by the time we are old enough to care, our mothers have forgotten some of the smaller moments that make motherhood such a wild ride. What a great way to share those stories that otherwise would just remain a vague footnote of childhood!

Some critics ask, "But what about the safety and privacy of your children?" The overwhelming response when someone asks that question of Mommy Bloggers is that you have to trust your gut and go with that. Draw your own lines of comfort and stick with them. No one else can make that decision for you. The same thing applies to the privacy of children. I have two older children that I will usually discuss an entry with before I post something about them. I respect their right to privacy. I have found that to work for all of us -- just showing respect to those who are close to you.

As for me and my feelings about Mommy Blogging (both the term and the phenomenon), I am proud to be included in the Mommy Blogger category. I feel that the most important contribution I can make is the act of raising the next generation. If I want to talk about it and how it affects my life, I am going to do it with pride. The name Mommy Blogger doesn't bother me in the least. In fact, I am ready to claim it and make it "the" blogger genre to be included in. (Remember when the word "geek" was an insult?  Not so much anymore, right?)

On a more personal level, I would give anything to be able to read about my own mom when I was a young child. To read her thoughts about me and motherhood would give me a connection beyond what we already have. As I write this, my own mother is in ICU. Suddenly, I have a million questions about motherhood that I would love to ask her. So many questions about her own thoughts, fears and hopes when it came to be a young mother. If I could read a blog she wrote, it would mean everything to me.  Everything.

I am giving that legacy to my own children. They will never have to wonder what they were like as children or what I was like as their mother. It is all there for them to read about and remember. (And for their future dates to Google when they are 16 and dating.) In fact, I second what Jenny Lauck declared -- tongue in cheek--"I don't think I would even let my children date someone whose mother didn't blog their life." 

What more is there to say after that?

Jenn is a 34-year-old stay-at-home mom who lives in Texas with her husband and three children.

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Thank you so much Tim. I really do appreciate your feedback. I'm still struggling with the technology but I wish everyone all luck with this competition. I've been pinned down with a sick grandchild and today a very sick daughter - both with gastric flu which afflicts us all at this time of year - so this is the first moment I've had to get to the computer.

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Just working through some notes on ethics and social networks and I thought I'd share the following paragraph that I've been working on - because it seems counter-intuitive at first.

There is a growing consensus that comments posted in social networks are not ‘in the public domain’ and that researchers should seek permission to use them. Researchers should also remember that because the internet is so readily searchable, they should avoid using literal quotes from social network discussions (in most cases) as this will potentially reveal who the respondent is.

In many codes of ethics and in a growing number of laws, the intention/expectation of the person making a post is important in determining what can be done with that post. In terms of privacy there are two issues. The first is that if a researcher has to join a network to see the post, then the person making the post is doing so in the expectation that they are talking to genuine members of the community, not to professional researchers or journalists. The second that is when somebody makes, say, 200 posts in their status bar over the course of a year, they did not have the expectation that all their quotes would be brought back together as a single corpus for investigation.

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I've enjoyed reading the reactions to Bob's comment's about Obama's connection to deliberative politics and his references to the "common good." A recent New Yorker piece takes a similar position and contrasts Obama's "deliberative" style with Clinton's penchant for partisanship: See George Packer's "The Choice" in THE NEW YORKER (Jan 28, 08).

In these discussions about Obama, Democrats, and the common good, it is important to remember that
Michael Tomasky got the Democrats back on to the language of the "common good" with his article, "Party in Search of a Notion," from THE AMERICAN PROSPECT (April 2006).

This talk of the common good, from Tomasky's perspective may be completely in line with partisan politics and need not be identified with deliberation. See Tomasky's review of Krugman's new book, "The Partisan," in the NEW YORK REVIEW OF BOOKS (54:18 Nov 22, 07).

[Jheny]

I'm a young mom. Now i know i'm not just the only one. This site can help boost my self esteem. I found the right place to to be with. Tnx!

[angel]

Oh I so agree- I love being a “mommy blogger”. I love writing about my boy and how things that happen in our lives affect our relationship and the lives of people around us. I also discuss personal entries with Damien before I post them.

[Donna]

Great post, Jenn. I am so proud to be a member of the Mommy Blogging community with you.

[Ms. Mama]

Wow, so true... A mommy is a mommy no matter what part of her life you are looking at. The fact that she has children shapes her actions, decisions and everything around her. There is nothing in the term "mommy blogger" to be ashamed of, infact it should be worn just as proud as the title mommy is. I also agree that most of us young moms would love to be able to get into the heads of our mothers at that point in their lives.

I hope your mother recovers well and is soon released from hospital.

[LauriJon]

I'm sorry to hear that your mom is in the ICU. I'll say a prayer for her this evening. Hope all will be well.