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September 22, 2005

Comments

Mike

You will not like hearing this, but you need to think about it.
Is your daughter planning to attend a peanut-free college (if one exists)? What about a peanut-free workplace?
You and she need to think about these issues, as much as you may not want to. She needs to protect herself eventually.
What is especially amazing about peanut allergy parents is that some think they can demand that others scrutinize food labels and spend extra money to buy special nut free products. That is completely beyond what you can morally demand from others (despite misinterpretation of the ADA to the contrary, as accommodations need only be "reasonable"). If your child is that sensitive, you must homeschool.

Terri Norton

My daughter is 14 months old and has multiple food allergies. I am dreading the whole school scenerio. She is allergic to Soy, dairy, sesame seeds..etc. The list goes on and on and keeps growing. I am so frustrated. I am running out of food ideas.

Angel

You totally *rock*. As a mom of a child with severe food allergies, THANK YOU and bless you!!

And for the parents who are stymied about what else to send for their kids, ask your grocery stores to carry Sunbutter--it's made from sunflower seeds and is pretty darn close to peanut butter, I have a hard time telling the difference.

Kay Camplese

I just finished reading Kristin's article on dealing with her daughter's severe allergies. Before reading her article, I was busy picking up and sorting through my granddaughter's toys she had so joyously played with during her visit to Nanny's house this past weekend. I am blessed to have such a beautiful grandprincess as well as having such a caring and conscientious daughter-inlaw such as Kristin. Yes I am Madeline's grandmother and she is my first and only grandchild so you see I have been very new to the role of grandmother. I can tell you I was present when Madeline was born and she captured my heart as my own son and daughtetr did when they were born. However, I must admit that even though I loved her more than my own life I still had a very difficult time coping and understanding her allergies from the getgo. Looking back I know her Boppy and I made many mistakes that Kristin mentions in her article--actually she would probably say we violated alot of the "don't dos" in her column especially in Madeline's first year of life. We now know to put all peanuts away, peanut oil is not in the house, and peanut butter is way up on the top shelf. Actually, we don't really eat any of the products near her and if we do serve peanuts or have a snack when they are not here I make sure I vacumm well. Even so, Madeline is so well schooled on her allergies from her parents, especially Kristin, that she knows exactely what is Madeline butter, madeline cupcakes, madeline pancakes, etc. Actually, she tells Nanny what she really can have. For me education/learning about (especially peanut )allergies is the key. Most individuals really don't know how serious this allergy is. When I was growing up and my children were really little, peanut allergeries were not on the forefront. Actually, we didn't know about alot of things and our kids somehow survived BUT this Is different! I know I wouldn't have really understood had it not been for Madeline and her parents. Hopefully, more information and warnings will be forthcoming from schools, healthcare providers, and other avenues in the community to educate people. This website is intriquing to me even as a grandparent and I sure envy all the young mothers out there who share their thoughts, feelings and needs as they raise their children. Somehow, I just know I could have been a better Mother but I do know I am becoming a really good grandmother. Thanks to all the Kristins and all the other Dotmoms who share. Kay Camplese; wecamplese@hotmail.com

Kay

I just finished reading Kristin's article on dealing with her daughter's severe allergies. Before reading her article, I was busy picking up and sorting through my granddaughter's toys she had so joyously played with during her visit to Nanny's house this past weekend. I am blessed to have such a beautiful grandprincess as well as having such a caring and conscientious daughter-inlaw such as Kristin. Yes I am Madeline's grandmother and she is my first and only grandchild so you see I have been very new to the role of grandmother. I can tell you I was present when Madeline was born and she captured my heart as my own son and daughtetr did when they were born. However, I must admit that even though I loved her more than my own life I still had a very difficult time coping and understanding her allergies from the getgo. Looking back I know her Boppy and I made many mistakes that Kristin mentions in her article--actually she would probably say we violated alot of the "don't dos" in her column especially in Madeline's first year of life. We now know to put all peanuts away, peanut oil is not in the house, and peanut butter is way up on the top shelf. Actually, we don't really eat any of the products near her and if we do serve peanuts or have a snack when they are not here I make sure I vacumm well. Even so, Madeline is so well schooled on her allergies from her parents, especially Kristin, that she knows exactely what is Madeline butter, madeline cupcakes, madeline pancakes, etc. Actually, she tells Nanny what she really can have. For me education/learning about (especially peanut )allergies is the key. Most individuals really don't know how serious this allergy is. When I was growing up and my children were really little, peanut allergeries were not on the forefront. Actually, we didn't know about alot of things and our kids somehow survived BUT this Is different! I know I wouldn't have really understood had it not been for Madeline and her parents. Hopefully, more information and warnings will be forthcoming from schools, healthcare providers, and other avenues in the community to educate people. This website is intriquing to me even as a grandparent and I sure envy all the young mothers out there who share their thoughts, feelings and needs as they raise their children. Somehow, I just know I could have been a better Mother but I do know I am becoming a really good grandmother. Thanks to all the Kristins and all the other Dotmoms who share. Kay Camplese; wecamplese@hotmail.com

Melanie

A close friend of mine has a son with a severe peanut allergy, so she always is in charge of the food at every school event, except for one at the beginning of the year, where she allowed another mother who worked with her husband to buy the ice cream. This woman has a child in a wheelchair (so knows all about special accomodations), and is a highly educated professional who was well aware of the child's allergy. AFTER the event, she said to my friend, "So, I was looking at the nut-free ice cream and it was THREE DOLLARS more expensive than the normal stuff! So I said to myself, "Sorry [child's name]!" My friend was agast, and said, "Well, if he had died, you'd be really happy you saved the three dollars!" It really drove home to her that you really can't trust anyone, which is terribly unfortunate.

Anyway, thanks for the post - they were all good points that need saying.

rosemary grace

Ugh, how terrifying. You have my sympathy. I've never had food allergies, but I was a relatively young child with migraines, and people (other than my parents) just plain did not believe me. I didn't go pale and throw up, or have a fever, so I didn't look particularly sick, but I would be half blind from the "aura" effect, the school nurse, teachers, other parents...said I was just making a fuss / trying to get out of work / looking for attention.

I've heard stories about teachers not taking kids with asthma seriously, taking away the emergency inhaler etc.

Why will people not just take someone's word for it about the invisible medical things?

Imperfect Mommy

Unfortunately when you are the parent of the child with severe food allergies, fussy eaters vs. a life/death situation just doesn't compare. Many children can even have reactions to airborne particles.

Beyond, what happens when the child who is allergic sits down at that table to do an art project later and the table wasn't thoroughly cleaned? Or what if some peanut butter remains on your child's hands and the two hold hands on the playground?

I totally understand where Robin P is coming from (and I have heard it from a lot of mothers -- "I feel bad sending peanut products, but it is all my child will eat"), but trust me when I say kids are very adaptable and if you start feeding them something else, they will start to eat other things -- like when I had to cut out all wheat, soy, dairy, nuts, and egg products from my daughter's diet.

Robin P

Lillianna's school has a peanut butter table so that anyone with peanut products in their lunch can sit there and not expose children with peanut allergies to any peanut dangers. They are far away from the allergy group.

Lillianna is a very fussy eater and only buys lunch on pizza day and the rare occasion when they serve waffles. Peanut butter and fluff is the only thing I can send that doesn't need to be cooked and that she will eat. We do double wrap her lunch as the school suggested so that the smell doesn't get out while it's in her backpack in the coat room.

In the past 3 years,Lillianna has had children in her class with peanut allergies and the school is very good about keeping the peanut butter kids away from the allergy kids in the classroom and in the cafeteria. The students are constantly being reminded not to share snacks with one another because of allergies. They are very aware of the dangers.

It is sad that people don't take it seriously sometimes. I have seen what one of the moms has to go through with her twins with peanut allergies and it doesn't look like fun. She is very vigilant and her boys know enough to say no when an adult says,"But it's just a cupcake. It won't hurt you." They know it isn't so innocent.

I don't think people are out to intentionally hurt children with allergies,I just think they are uneducated. It feels like these allergies used to be one in a million,now they are much more common.
I truly believe more information is the key to keeping your child safe.
Good luck.

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