A year of DotMoms

By Elizabeth L-B

This is my anniversary post on DotMoms. My first post appeared on September 26, 2004. Since then I've written about photographs and birthday parties, the joys of sibling relationships and the challenges of just getting out the door in the morning. The post I've written that got the most comments was on our bad housekeeping.

In reading all of my posts from the past year, I'm struck by how often I write about the ways in which I feel deeply inadequate as a parent. I am not as patient with my children as I would like to be. They don't eat as healthily as I'd like them to, or keep their room as clean.

But I'm afraid that the overall picture I've painted is overly negative. And yet, overall, I'm having a blast. I love how the boys will run across the room to crash into me with great big hugs. I love how they both believe that mommy kisses cure all injuries. I love it when they demand that I read to them. I love how they're figuring out how the world works.

So why the focus on the negative? Some of it is a deep-seated belief that it's at best impolite and at worst downright dangerous to crow about your fortunes. I also worry about getting overly sappy. But fundamentally, I think I write about my failings as a parent because I can count on kind readers to tell me I'm not alone, that everyone feels that way. 

(At a birthday party we attended this weekend, another mother looked at the child throwing a tantrum on the floor, and leaned over to say to me "Isn't it nice to know that other people's children do that too?" Yes, it is.)   

And even if I am the only one who worries about something, at least people will read my posts and feel a bit more reassured about themselves.

Elizabeth L-B lives with her husband, a SAHD, and two sons in Alexandria, Va., and works for the federal government.

Comments

[amy]

I'm so selfish...I write my posts so people will write back and say, "HEY...ME TOO!!" That way _I_ don't feel so alone :)

I should write about something I do right...when i figure that out, I'll do it :)

[Cathy]

I have to admit, a big reason why I read posts by other moms is the reassurance that I'm not the only one, and to learn a little something about how other moms cope. So you may be writing for those reasons, but I, at any rate, am reading for the same reasons - and I think that's a happy meeting of the minds :)