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September 23, 2005

Comments

Lois

We call it "EP" at our house -- we are proud "eclectic parents."

Maria

I love it! Try Your Best is just another version of my Whatever Works... Our families are all different with different needs and we need to do what is best for us and support others' decisions.

Jessica

Don't get hung up on labels. You don't have to do everything to be an attachment parent. you just have to follow your childs cues and respond. Breastfeeding, baby wearing, co-sleeping...they are just all smart parts to help you be more attached to your child. To be more intune to your child.
If you hear your child and respond..ie, don't ignore them and let them cry...make them CIO..have physical contact...I bet you are doing more AP than you think ;)
Good post! I really enjoyed it.

Goldberry

I don't read much about parenting. I tap into little things that Dr. Phil has said and what Jo Frost (The SuperNanny) has said. I take little tidbits of advice from friends and family and if they work in MY family, I implement them. On I, as the parent, know what is best for my kids.

Honestly, I have never heard of Attachment Parenting. I've never let my daughter sleep in my bed. I don't pick her up and carry her everywhere. She sits in the stroller when we are out. And I didn't breastfeed.

I DO play with her for at least 2 hours (not all at one time) a day. We cuddle and hug and we laugh all the time. She's very independent and that thrills me because even with her independence, she still needs me. She needs to sit with me on the couch and she hugs me often. She depends on me to help her through the things she finds too tough. We deal together.

I am just blabbing and its starting to sound braggy (not my intention), so I am signing off. If you are up to it, will you let me in on what Attachment Parenting is all about??

amy

:) great cartoon!

I don't read anything about parenting. I don't read self-help books, i don't read magazine articles, I don't read list servs or mommy blogs (other than this one). The reason I don't do this is for one reason only....I don't want to think I'm doing it wrong. I like living in ignorant bliss :)

Christine

Ellen --

I really appreciate your honesty and the commitment you have to your child. There is soooooo much information thrown at parents today. Listen to your inner voice. It will be your guide. It is hard to tune out other people's well-intended and often misguided advice. You are doing a great job. "AP" is not for everyone. It wasn't something I felt comfortable with. Everyone has his or her own parenting style. Sadly, a lot of people have a parent-o-meter which gauges how well we are doing or not. What truly matters is how comfortable you are with what you are doing. Kids are amazing and can teach us a lot, too!

Jo

"I'm just a mom and I do it the best way I can."

To me THAT is what Attachment Parenting or any kind of parenting is truly about. With my last child we did the delayed vaxing, cosleeping, babywearing, extended nursing, and so on and that's what has worked for us but I would never even think of telling someone else how to raise their child. There may be things people do that I don't agree with but unless I know without a doubt that I am THE expert on what is the perfect way to raise children, all I can do is agree or not and let people do the same with me. Thank you for not bashing AP as so many do these days. It sounds to me like you are doing just fine. ;)

Dave Taylor

Nicely put. It bothers me that so many people believe there's an "Official Rules of Attachment Parenting" because, really, it's just a set of guidelines and good ideas. Dogmatic parenting approaches, whatever they are, are a bad idea because they take away the flexibility you need as a parent. We should know: we're attachment parents to three kids - and even blog about it!

Check out http://www.APparenting.com/ and you'll learn that we're all trying to do the best we can for our children. :-)

Robin P

I have to honestly say that the only book I read during pregnancy was,"What to expect when you're expecting," and I never read any parenting books at all once Lillianna was born. I never thought I had to read about being a mom.

Breastfeeding sounded nice to me. I tried it for 3 days and Lillianna hated it!!!!!It caused unbelievable stress for both of us. I gave her a bottle and she was happy as a clam. That's when I realized I would just do what felt naturally to me and see how Lillianna reacted. It wasn't even a conscious thought. I just went along without really thinking.

When she cried because she was fussy,(not hungry or in need of a diaper change) I would rock her or sing to her. That always calmed her down.
I never ended up holding her for hours and hours. Once she was soothed I could put her down.

I tried one of those snuggle things that go over your shoulder. It had been a gift. Lillianna hated it.I tried it a few more times but her reaction was always the same. I packed it away for someone else.

She slept in a bassinet in our room for 3 months and then we put her in her own room. I realized she would wake up whenever I would wake up and it seemed like I was causing her to have interrupted sleep. Once she was in her own room,she slept through the night.

When she was older I tried the jolly jumper. She hated it. I never used it again.

My point is,kids don't come with an instruction book. Even if they did,each child is different. I don't think one way or another is the "one true way." I think each family has to decide which things work best for them.

Parenting is the most difficult job in the world when it is done correctly. Basically,it is all hit or miss. There is no formula to make it all turn out perfectly.There is only love......and that is enough.

amy h

Amen. Good post!
~Amy H.

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