Operation Romance

By Lana

Ahh, romance. We've all experienced it –- that wondrous thing that happens between couples in love. That feeling, ooh, such pleasure; snuggles and long gazes over flickering candles, a soft caress, a sexy smile. All that good stuff that in LBC (life before children) seems to happen so spontaneously, so frequently, with such ease.

Since the birth of our baby, however, romance has become the equivalent of a NASA shuttle take-off: something that requires a great deal of advance planning and which can't happen unless there's a convergence of a multitude of suitable conditions.

A successful execution of Operation Romance will only be achieved if:

1. Baby is asleep.
2. Both adult parties are marginally awake.
3. Both adult parties are home.
4. Both parties are not occupied with household duties or other work.
5. The female party does not feel as though she's been mauled by a lion due to a day of extensive breastfeeding, bum wiping and baby transport procedures.
6. The male party is not too cross-eyed from day of sitting in traffic, ogling a computer screen and doing deals with huffy clients.

This window of opportunity occurs perhaps three times a week.

And when it does happen, then Ooh! The heart patters, those romantic feelings rush in and…

(Cue soft lighting, Marvin Gaye music, etc.)

Ooh la la, sweet romance is ready for take-off!

…5!…4!…3!…2!…

"Waaaahhh!!"

One?

Baby's up.

Darn!

(Baby's cries quelled, eventually. Adults try to resume countdown but abandon effort as sleepiness sets in.)

Operation Romance aborted, again.

Sigh.

Looks like this kid's going to be an only child.

Lana is a 31-year-old freelance writer and new mom from Canada who sold all her stuff and ran off to Phuket, Thailand, five years ago.

Comments

[debra]

Your post made me smile. I realized that since we had a child, me and my husband haven't made love for quite a while. The least we can do is cuddle. But still despite a decrease in our
intimate sessions I feel that our love is growing more and more each day. I wake up in the morning to find my husband staring at me. It's such a wonderful feeling waking up in the morning with someone very special beside you on the bed. Thanks for posting your
message! I'll definitely tell my friends about it.

[debrah82]

Your post made me smile. I realized that since we had a child, me and my husband hasn't made love for quite a while. The least we can do is cuddle. But still despite a decrease in our intimate sessions I feel that our love is growing more and more each day. I wake up in the morning to find my husband staring at me. It's such a wonderful feeling waking up in the morning with someone very special beside you on the bed. Thanks for posting your message! I'll tell my friends about it.

[Kay]

Lana; loved your analogy of the NASA shuttle!!! However, I noticed Andrea's post that you are one of the lubky ones!!! Three times a week!!!--- Down the road three times a month will be great and then maybe if you live long enough three times a year!! All "take-offs" are relative! Just happen to visit this site because my daughter-in-law is a dotmom and I am intriqued by it. BUT sex does continue to be a NASA happening throughout your life! Actually you will find that early/late mornings become a great time for take-off rather than later in the evening or late at nighty! Kids off on their moonwalks and Dad no longer has to hit the commute to Cape Cavaneral!make for a good change in schedule of take-offs. Have fun and keep the candles and champagne flowing!

[Kay]

Lana; loved your analogy of the NASA shuttle!!! However, I noticed Andrea's post that you are one of the lubky ones!!! Three times a week!!!--- Down the road three times a month will be great and then maybe if you live long enough three times a year!! All "take-offs" are relative! Just happen to visit this site because my daughter-in-law is a dotmom and I am intriqued by it. BUT sex does continue to be a NASA happening throughout your life! Actually you will find that early/late mornings become a great time for take-off rather than later in the evening or late at nighty! Kids off on their moonwalks and Dad no longer has to hit the commute to Cape Cavaneral!make for a good change in schedule of take-offs. Have fun and keep the candles and champagne flowing!

[Rayne of Terror]

Ha ha! I was just thinking when did the sentence "I shaved my legs" become an invitation for sex? Maybe when I stopped shaving my legs more than twice a month.

[Nicola]

Great post, Lana. I know exactly what you mean. Our rule is that 9pm signals the start of each night's adult time alone together. Not that the 19 month old in the next room always respects that, but we at least manage to complete the "romance" a few nights a week. And then there is that greatest joy of all joys -- weekend naptime! Yes, sex while fully awake. What a difference.

[Jason Berggren]

My wife and I were just talking (argueing) about this very issue this morning. Why is that men and women differ in their definitions of romance so much? It takes work and planning, like you said. That simple, yet fundamental, detail is easy to forget. It gets lost in the shuffle of the week without notice.

[andrea]

Your "window of opportunity" occurs perhaps three times a week??

You're one of the lucky ones! :)