By Kimberly
I took Sabrina to the Western Fair for the first time ever recently. She had her first Elephant Ear, her first ride on a roller coaster, her frist trip through a funhouse, her first experience with carny barker... a lot of firsts. And I don't have a single photograph commemorating any of it.
It's not like I don't have a camera. In fact, just last spring I shelled out quite a chunk of change for a digital camera that's probably better than I need, given how few pictures I take. I confess: I'm that mother who usually "forgets" her camera and begs duplicates off the other parents, when I remember.
I have a friend who is a committed scrapbooker. The paper, the scissors, the relentless photographic documentation, she's into it. And I can sort of see the appeal. I mean, I'm generally all about gluing stuff to other stuff as a form of relaxation. But I just can't get into this. Part of it is that my packrat brain just doesn't work that way and sparkle jelly shoes and stones from the first trip to the ocean don't really fit too well between the pages of a book. But mostly it's that I don't want to chronicle my children's lives; I want to participate in them.
So while the other parents trudged around the fairgrounds lugging professional grade photography equipment from ride to ride, I skipped through the crowd holding Brina's hand. And while they stood beside the ride, trying to coax their children into waving, I sat in the giant swing and allowed my daughter to coax me into opening my eyes. They tried frantically to capture a smile each time the Himilayan whipped past their chosen spot; I had Brina's laughter ringing in my ears as she sat pressed up beside me.
It's true, I don't have anything tangible to commemorate Brina's First Trip to the Fair -- unless the stain on my shirt from the sno-cone counts? There's no book to page through, and no pictures to point at. But we do have those intangibles -- the feel of the wind rushing through our hair, the sound of our laughter, and the taste of kisses sticky with cotton candy. All things a book can't hold. But a heart can.
Kimberly is a proudly lazy, solo mom by choice to Sabrina (6) and Regan (1). She lives with them in Ontario, Canada.
Oh, I'm not missing out. It's not like I don't have a single phot of my kids. I have stacks of paper photos and a pile of cds--every family gathering seems to end with the traditional dumping and burning of the memory cards. But I really fall down on the whole "cropping" thing, and I'm pretty unapologetic about it. I'd just rather spend my time making new memories rather than cutting up and pasting glitter and thought balloons to the photos I *do* have.
Posted by: Kimberly | September 27, 2005 at 07:16 PM
The only thing I have scrapbooked for Lillianna has been her dance recital. I have to catch up because I am 3 years behind!!! I have all my pictures cropped but I have to get them in there.
I have made beautiful scrapbooks for my sister, her boyfriend,my mother and one of my friends. I am hoping to get a nice book together for Lillianna. Not every single moment has been caught on film because I like to enjoy the moment too,without worrying about if I got a picture of it or not.
I believe you can have the best of both worlds:participating in the fun and taking a picture of it. I have looked back at pictures that I am so grateful I took because in spite of what I thought,I didn't remember it!
Don't miss out. You don't have to document every breath your child takes,but fun moments should definitely be photographed. One day,your child might want to see the fun she had because she was too young to remember it.
Posted by: Robin P | September 27, 2005 at 07:08 PM
You know what? I was starting to feel like the only mom in the world who didn't 'get' why we have to spend hours putting our memories into special glittery gluey creations. Honestly, with three kids I barely have time to wash myself, let alone scrapbook!
Thank you!!
Posted by: Queen of Google | September 27, 2005 at 06:01 PM
Yeah, I take some pictures when I don't have anything else to do, but usually I'm too busy doing the thing to think about recording the thing. Some people must be better at multitasking than I am.
Posted by: Kirsten | September 27, 2005 at 05:13 PM
I carry a pretty heavy duty camera with us where ever we go- I've got literally THOUSANDS of pictures of my kid and her dad and cousins or whomever doing any number of things - but the picture part only lasts a few minutes and I can spend just as much time riding and participating AND she'll have some pictures to look back on. One on my most fun things to do is sit with my mom, and grandma and aunt and let tehm tell me takes remembered by pictures - things tehy admit they would have never remembered with out the photo to jog their memories - because memories fade and pictures help us hold on.
Posted by: Raquita | September 27, 2005 at 03:01 PM
I am a scrapbooker and I love taking pictures of my daughter. The camera goes everywhere with us. I do have to say, though, that it IS possible to takes some great candid shots AND participate in the fun and exciting outing. My daughter and I have a blast when we go to the museums. I am partial to pictures that are NOT posed, so my daughter barely realizes I've taken the shot until after its over. I don't have the need to snap every thirty seconds because I DO have a need to be an active participant. Why does my daughter need to have all the fun? As parents who participate, and laugh and enjoy the outing, we are creating fabulous memories for them.
I just think we CAN do both without the camera being a disturbance.
Posted by: Goldberry | September 27, 2005 at 12:50 PM
I was just writing about the forgetting off the camera in my blog. We went to the county fair and I forgot my camera so I didnt get Isabelle going on the Merrygoround or the Slide or her eating a thing of french fries with her papa or trying Fried Dough. Yeah...I feel your pain :)
Posted by: amy | September 27, 2005 at 11:24 AM
Thanks for posting this. I feel the same way. I don't want to waste my time taking pictures of everything my daughter and I do together. Like you, I want to participate in her life, not document it. My memories of childhood aren't in pictures, anyway-- they're in voices, in smells, in experiences I had with my family. No one can photograph those things.
Posted by: Julie | September 27, 2005 at 10:29 AM
Thank you for this! I am the same way and am always feeling guilty. Now I feel better. :)
Posted by: Marcia | September 26, 2005 at 08:30 PM