Bunnies and bears, oh my

By Suzanne

I have a love/hate relationship with Halloween.

For one thing, it's the beginning of the entire series of holidays that require a massive amount of effort from the mom in the family -- Halloween then Thanksgiving then Christmas. It's always been the most exhausting season of the year for me.

The approach of Halloween is like a portent of doom. For another thing, once we had three children, managing them all while trick-or-treating became a nightmare. There was always the younger one who walked too slow or got tired too soon and the older ones who ran too fast and never got tired at all.

But I always loved the costumes. I have to admit, I loved the costumes more when I got to pick them out. I always picked out cute, adorable costumes, turning my darling babies and toddlers into bunnies and bears. As they grew, they wanted to be cartoon characters from movies and TV, and as they got even older, they wanted to dress up scary and horrifying and have blood drips coming down their faces. What happened to my bunnies and bears?

This year, my daughter is nine, almost 10, and she wants to be a witch, for the third year running. My boys are 12 and 14 and they don't want to be anything. They don't want to go trick-or-treating at all. "We'll just steal her candy," they say about their sister going trick-or-treating. They are both going to a party at a neighbor's house with their friends instead. 

Not only am I down to just one child who still wants to go trick-or-treating, she doesn't even want me to take her. She's going to go trick-or-treating with the neighbors. All I have to do is stay home and hand out candy at the door. This is my easiest Halloween ever.

Is Halloween still a portent of the other holidays to come? Will my Thanksgivings and Christmases become easier, too, as less and less is required of me as the mom? My kids are growing up, and it's a new phase in my life. I'm needed less by them, and that means more time for me. I'm excited about more "me" time, but it's sad, too. Like when I quit breastfeeding and when I changed my last diaper and when they didn't need me to push them on the swing. It is always a bittersweet relief.

I miss my bunnies and bears. But I have missed me, too. I have a friend who is always telling me that 40s are fabulous. I think she's right.

Suzanne has been married for over 20 years and lives in small-town North Carolina with her three children.

Comments

[Robin P]

Thank goodness Lillianna is going to be Cinderella this year. I still have one or two years left of cuteness.
It is difficult when they get older and need us less. I always say that if Lillianna could drive,she wouldn't need me at all. She insists she will always need me for love and hugs. I sure hope that's true!!

[Michelle]

My son was a teddy bear the first year, a cowboy the next, and now he wants to be Yoda. He is enthralled with his light saber and the prospect of being a Jedi. I'll say this--at least he's the right height for being Yoda, at 3 feet tall. :)