By Sarah
I am a bit of a talker, a chatterbox, a blabbermouth really. So, when my daughter was born and looked just like her father I thought, well surely she is my daughter too and she will also like to talk. And when she started walking at 10 months and soon after climbing and getting into all sorts of things and chasing balls and sliding down slides, always active, just like her dad, I thought, surely she is my daughter, too and any day now the torrents of words will spill forth. And I waited. And waited. And I am still waiting.
It is not that Lilith doesn’t talk at all. She does have a small vocabulary: up, hot, no, yeah, shoe, more -- just some essentials! Plus, her animal sounds are quite impressive and include a coyote, owl, snake and even a ghost (boo!). I guess it is just I thought by now, at 18 months, she would be talking, well, more. Her babbling is very cute and I am sure all the phrases mean a lot to her, but I have a hard time understanding “ayshoo ayshooee shabaaaaaa!”
My mother was fond of saying “patience is a virtue.” And because Lilith isn’t talking yet I am really learning patience plus a whole host of other skills like deciphering toddlerese and the fine art of following the pointing finger.
Here is the thing. At first I was anxious for Lilith to talk. I really wanted to hear what she had to say, what was on her mind. But, I have learned that often (not always) what is on her mind is apparent if only I pay attention to the details. If I pay attention she will make sure I understand what it is she needs and wants. And this is a sort of Zen parenting -- being so in the moment, being so present, being so with her that clear language isn’t always necessary.
That being said, it is not always possible to be that tuned in to her. When I am trying to work, clean, cook, get things done, her non-verbal and pre-verbal communication is hard to respond to. That is when she gets frustrated and then I do as well.
I think every kid has his or her own priorities and the development charts be damned (within reason, of course)! So she isn’t talking a lot? So she doesn’t have 15-25 words? We get by. She is my daughter and if I want to teach her patience is a virtue I better practice what I preach.
In the meantime, thank goodness for baby sign language!
Sarah Rachel Egelman is a community college instructor and free-lance book reviewer who lives in New Mexico with her husband and 15-month-old daughter.
It was quite obvious that my daughter, Annabel, understood everything that was going on around her from the time she was about 12 months old; however, she really didn't say anything we could understand until she was almosy 2-1/2. This kid could run the week she turned 9 months, outclimb most 3-year olds at the playground, and kept out of the kitchen until she was 2 (because we couldn't keep her off the kitchen table or from climbing the cupboards...). She just turned 3, can recite her phone number, counts to 20, knows her colors, recognizes most letters, can almost spell her name, and loves to talk on the phone. You seem to know exactly what to do! And I sure wish I would have learned sign language...
Posted by: lori | November 01, 2005 at 12:24 AM
My son is a "slow talker" too. I always tell people that he balances out his mommy who talks too much! LOL. They all do everything in their own time, whether we obsess and worry about it or not!
Posted by: Susan | October 31, 2005 at 09:55 PM
Sounds to me like she's right on track for 18 months. And I agree about the developmental priorities, they all seem to do it their own way and in their own time, but I have yet to meet a three year old who won't talk your ear off.
Lilith was walking at 10 months. My guy didn't walk until 15 months. However, at 20 months old he can talk down the house and when there's nobody to listen, he sits in his room reading books out loud to himself. He still can't jump and doesn't climb very well. Physically he is always behind on the "milestones", but verbally he's well ahead of the pack. Lilith will get there. In her own time. And until then, enjoy the relative peace!
Posted by: Nicola | October 31, 2005 at 02:51 PM