The brakes on the bus go...

By Melita

Over the weekend, my 3-year-old daughter and I set out to forage for material for her Halloween costume. As I drove, I heard her singing sweetly in the backseat. She launched her recital with "Wheels on the Bus." To my delight, she started making up verses once she got through all the standard ones -- the wipers, the driver, you know the drill.

"The squirrels on the bus say, 'Eat your nuts, eat your nuts, eat your nuts.' " Too cute!

Next up: "The boy on the bus says, 'Read a book, read a book, read a book.' " Give the little guy a gold star.

Would there be a girl in the song? What clever thing would she do? Peeking in the rear-view mirror, I held my breath. The next verse stabbed me: "The girl on the bus says, 'Watch a video, watch a video, watch a video.' " Oh yes, "projection" was the operative word here.

Until a few months ago, Maisie rarely watched TV or videos at home. I know she watched a little bit at daycare, and that seemed like plenty. Recently, however, I started picking up toilet-training videos at the library. Maisie seemed interested and began making progress on that front. After committing all the "Potty Power" songs to memory and fearing that commitment was in my own future, I started choosing other stuff, "Sesame Street" for the most part. My thinking: Use the videos to lure Maisie into spending quality time on the potty.

Can you guess what happened to my best-laid plans? Today, my daughter resists using the potty. But she has developed quite a taste for video entertainment. When the credits roll, she pleads, "Just. One. More. Time!" and wags one little finger at me. On some mornings, "Can I watch my video?" is the first thing out of her mouth. Yikes.

I have no problem with Maisie watching a short video each day -- if it were only that simple. But I have a big problem when thoughts of videos dance in her head all day long. I have a big problem with the guilt that washes over me when I let her watch a video twice in a row so I can get a little more work done.

So that's it. I am slamming the brakes on this particular bus. More time for looking at books, making up songs and using imagination. Hopefully, a little less time for whining and obsessing.

Have you found a happy medium with TV and/or video watching in your home?

Melita is putting down roots in Madison, Wisconsin, with her husband and 3-year-old daughter.

Comments

[Michelle]

I used to limit my 2 year old to Teletubbies and Boobah. Now that I have the twins, too, he watches a few more hours than that each morning. I don't like it much, but it's the way it goes for now.

[PaxilMama]

I couldn't peel my now 5-year old away from videos--Elmo was big, Teletubbies, Wiggles, you name it. She was a vegetable in front of that darned TV. But she also knew the alphabet and could count to like 17 by the time she was 2...and *I* certainly don't take credit for that. I give it to Sesame Street.

I really did try to get her away from that boob tube. But I have to admit that while it made me sad and gave me a complex beause all I ever heard was that television RUINS children, I really did enjoy the downtime.

Like I said, she's FIVE now (and she's got two younger siblings). Did all of that TV time ruin her? I don't know. If you call wanting to read books all the time and frequently asking for our art supplies to see what she can invent with them and begging out of lunch so she can go outside and play with her neighbors RUINED, then I suppose she is.

[Robin P]

I am sure if I added up how many hours a day Lillianna watches t.v.,I'd cry. So I don't add them up.
I watched a ton of t.v. when I was her age and I think I am a well adjusted human being.....Not too dain bramaged.

Lillianna also reads A LOT. She plays with her toys,creates stories and poems and enjoys sports. If she watches too much t.v. who cares? Not me,that's for sure. She has learned a lot from many of the shows so I feel some t.v. is helpful!

[Nicola]

You know, first thing in the morning is our tough time of day and the very first thing that Kel does when he gets out of bed is to jump into the recliner and ask for a Dora video. He is slow to wake up and doesn't like to rush into immediate activities or breakfast. He likes a few minutes to himself. We, on the other hand, need a few minutes to grab a shower, prepare breakfast, and say "hello" after a night spent bed hopping with a teething toddler. So, first thing in the morning, Kel gets a Dora episode. He sits quietly with his favourite stuffed toy and by the time that its over, we're all awake, refreshed, and ready to sit down for breakfast. We did not lead this behaviour. Kellan decided that this was the way that he wanted to wake up, and as it turns out, it works for all of us. And you know what? Its exactly what I did growing up (but for me it was Sesame Street). I'm doing ok today.

[Mel]

Much to my distress, my 3-year old daughter only likes Dora--and when I need to bribe her with television (I school-at-home 12-year old twins), she doesn't take the bait. My boys were all about television. Her? Not so much.

[Rayne of Terror]

From what I can tell the "movie, movie, movie" behavior seems to be universal to 3 year olds whether they are allowed a little tv or a lot. All our friends have dealt with it. The same kids, now 4-5 and up, seem to be over it.

[Maria]

I think - for the moment - we've found a good balance. My first son didn't watch TV much at all til his brother was born. 2 weeks in a hospital in a different city, the Ronald McDonald House, etc. and all the TV rules went out the window. Then, a former working Mom was home w a/high needs infant and a 2 yr old. I rationalized that Sesame Street in the morning and Clifford and Dragon Tales in the afternoon was okay - I mean we had limits. Then I went back to work and I got into the habit of letting them have a movie when we got home so I could get supper on the table.

Recently tho I've significantly tamed the beast. Most weeknights, there's no TV. Now, my kid loves the Apprentice, so Thursday they get to stay up late and watch the Donald. Fri we usually give in and Sunday we watch Extreme Home Make Over and probably the Redskins. And, if there are other adults over and we're trying to talk, we've been known to pop in a movie for some peace and quiet...

So - yes there are limits (unless their father is watching them...) but sometimes an occassional movie is a matter of survival or sanity...

My kids know more about TV characters from their friends and books than from TV...