On balance

By Donna

My 9-year-old daughter is about to finish her first season of competitive gymnastics.

It's been quite a journey, beginning with a 90-minute per week recreational class two years ago and culminating in her current schedule of four-hour workouts, four times a week -- plus competitions. It sounds grueling, and the conditioning portion of her trainings would put a couch potato like me in the hospital.

But she loves it. When she's not at the gym, she's talking about being at the gym. She practices moves from her floor routine while we walk down the aisles at the grocery store. She makes us time her as she walks on her hands in the living room. She can't pass a soft green lawn without demonstrating her "round-off back handspring."

We're fortunate that the other girls on her team (with whom she spends a good 16 hours per week) are all as sweet and funny as my daughter. Over the last few months of competition, they've bonded to the point of seeing each other outside of gym for sleepovers and birthday parties.

It was at one such party that we discovered that one of the girls -- not coincidentally, the one who has achieved the highest scores -- has her own practice balance beam at home. That home beam has become the group's "gift du jour" -- the next two birthday girls received one from their parents, and now Megan has made it clear that she'd love one, too.

She isn't going to get it. Forget about the cost, or that we don't have room in our house for a 12' long balance beam -- I simply feel that 16 hours of gym is enough. It's bad enough that I have difficulty juggling all my priorities; one of my daily struggles has become finding some balance in my daughter's life.

She has friends and interests outside of gym, and I will jump through hoops to see that she gets to pursue them. And if she needs a little extra practice on one of her events (like the balance beam), I'll schedule a private session at the gym, with her coach. But I draw the line at buying gym equipment so she can practice her sport 24 hours a day. There's more to life than gym, and I don't want her to forget that.

The other day, my mother called me to talk about holiday gifts. "We want to buy her one big present," she said. "What does she want?"

My first thought was that home balance beam, but I remembered some of her other interests. "Have you received the new American Girl catalog?" I asked. "I know she'd be happy with anything you bought her from there."

And that's the truth.

Donna is a San Fernando Valley wife and mother.

Comments

[Jess]

Good for you. My 12-year-old cousin (coincidentally, also named Megan) is a top-level swimmer, and her parents are constantly walking the same tightrope you are - happy to see their child excelling at something she loves, and at the same time not wanting that to become her entire life. Their solution, however, was simply to stuff her time full of other things, such as a soccer team and two types of music lessons; now the poor kid does not have one single day a week without some sort of training or obligation, and usually more than one. (At the moment, she's just living this crazy schedule and not thinking too much about it, but she's almost 13; I'm anticipating a blowup of sorts before too long!) Anyway, the point is, I think you're doing a great job finding balance for (your) Megan - better than my own aunt and uncle are. Kudos to you for that!

[DrumsnWhistles]

I'm with you. It's too easy to let them become consumed by something like that, and balance is something that she will always need in her life. It sounds like she's quite an achiever!

Good for you, Mom!

[DrumsnWhistles]

I'm with you. It's too easy to let them become consumed by something like that, and balance is something that she will always need in her life. It sounds like she's quite an achiever!

Good for you, Mom!

[Christine]

Balance -- whether found on a beam or in our daily lives, is an elusive thing. Good for you for setting limits for your daughter and for yourself.

[Tina]

Good for you Donna for seeking to find that balance for your daughter. My kid is barely two and already - already! - it's far too easy to get caught up in all the excess (of even good things) aimed at us. It must be really hard to say no when your child loves a healthy activity like gymnastics or figure skating or whatever and is good at it too.