By Elizabeth L-B
The nice thing about having two boys less than three years apart is that they share many of the same interests and enjoy playing with the same toys. The bad thing about having two boys less than three years apart is also that they share many of the same interests and enjoy playing with the same toys. We spend a lot of time sorting out disputes over who gets to play with what.
When Nicholas was a baby, we taught Daniel that if he wanted to take one of his toys away from Nicholas, he had to give Nicholas something else to play with. That worked well with a distractable 12-month-old, but doesn't help much now that Nicholas is a 2-year-old, able to remember exactly what he was playing with.
Part of the problem is that most of the toys were bought for Daniel and thus are -- by at least one standard -- his. And I can guarantee that even if Daniel hasn't touched a toy for a year and a half, it will suddenly become the most fascinating object in the house as soon as Nicholas starts to play with it.
The general rules in our house are:
- Some items -- the tracks for the trains, all the ride-on toys -- have been officially socialized. No one gets to claim them as exclusive property, because we're not buying duplicates.
- Each boy has a stuffed doggie that he's never expected to share.
- Things that are received as gifts by each boy are his. Sharing is encouraged, but not required. After about six months, things drift into common property.
- Anything that results in fighting gets put away, or the boy who wants to play with it has to take it to another room.
What are your house rules? How do you deal with the cries of "mine!"?
Elizabeth L-B lives with her husband, a SAHD, and two sons in Alexandria, Va., and works for the federal government.
Add this to the growing list of concerns I have as my due date quickly approaches and I am faced with the realities of life with two boys two years apart! I have already begun to drag out, clean off and setup some of the baby things for the house. My toddler thinks its all very interesting - too interesting I fear, when there is someone else to actually use these things soon. I have been trying to explain to him that these are "baby" things and he is in fact a "big boy" but really, he isnt a big enough boy to get it at 2 years old. I like your house rules and will have to consider some very soon to establish right away.
Posted by: Susan | December 20, 2005 at 03:05 PM