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December 27, 2005



You raise some very good points. Unfortunately, I think as parents, we spend an awful lot of time second-guessing ourselves. It's a shame these kids don't come with an owner's manual! Our kids are all so different. So it's a lot of trial and error, following your instinct and praying that it all comes out right in the end. And I think that as long as we are asking these questions, thinking about our actions and how we influence our kids, showing how much we love and care for them -- the prayers won't really be necessary, 'cause they'll be all right.


From my adult perspective, I definitely wish that my parents had encouraged me more to perservere at the things that I wasn't as good at like sports and music. But at the time, I was happy not to do them.


Interesting thoughts and exactly what I have been thinking/dealing with. My 5 yr old is "slow to warm up" and rarely wants to do any activities if you ask her.(I was the same way as a child so I can relate). I tend to think if she doesn't want to do it, we shouldn't make her. My husband feels differently- he wishes his parents had pushed him a little harder and thinks we definitely need to push my daughter to at least try things.I think he's right as when we have pushed her she's ended up (usually) enjoying it or least raising her competency level.
But it's hard for me to watch her worry and fuss in advance of the activity!
Parenting isn't always clear cut is it?


I'm for letting the child have the veto before rather than after. But this is based on temperament too. I'm glad this is turning out well for your daughter.


I wish my parents had been more pro-active in signing me up for sports once I turned 11-12. My jr. high and high school experiences would have been more positive with something like a sport or club to focus on.

Now 35, I recently asked my mom why I had not been signed up for soccer when I was 10 after missing a season for knee surgery when I was 9...her reply..."You didn't ask". My rebut, "You should have made me...I was only 10!" :)

I think it's important to keep encouraging kids to participate in group acitvities through high school and into college. It doesn't have to necessarily be sports, but some kind of organized group activity that stimulates a healthy / realistic amount of competition and social interaction.

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