By Mindy
My boys aged five and seven, are with their father in Colorado, snowboarding at a friend’s place in... I think… Beaver Creek. I only know that because Daphne remembered it had a silly name. I haven’t heard from them in three days, don’t have the number or the address, and my ex’s cell phone does not answer. And yet I know they are safe. If this isn’t the definition of faith, I don’t know what is.
While I am not overly worried about their safety, I am beyond enraged that I have no idea even what zip code they’re in. I was able to reach them at their grandparents’ house on Thursday because their Dad was taking care of some business in Ft. Collins, but after that… Zip. Nada. Bupkis.
I did talk to their grandmother, though. She said they were with my ex’s friend and two sons.
quot;Ah," I said, "Now I know why he wouldn't take Daphne."
quot;Well, sometimes girls just aren't invited." Indeed.
I don't like not knowing where my kids are when they’re riding their bikes, let alone when they’re on a snowy, icy slope of a mountain two thousand miles away. And (cue organ music) I didn’t see anything they packed. I don’t know if they own jackets or snow boots or what. I’m sure their dad has it covered, but I don’t know for sure.
He's a great father and I know I can count on his taking good care of our children, but the idea that it’s no big deal to leave me hanging is driving me bonkers. I left a message asking him to call whenever he was back in range.
quot;Everything OK?"
quot;Yes, I just didn’t know where you were."
quot;I told you, we’re skiing."
Ohhhh, that’s right, I guess I didn’t think that through. My bad.
I didn’t let it go. "I don’t think it’s totally unreasonable for me to want to know where my children are and how to reach them, or expect you to check in with your daughter. She was left behind when her brother got to go skiing and I can’t give her a good reason why other than the 'girls’ week' you promised."
"We're just away on a three-day guys' trip, that's all," he said with disgust, and handed the phone off to the boys.
Logan wanted to know, "Mom, did you try to call more times than you succeeded?"
"Yes. Yes, baby, I did. I missed you."
"Oh. Okay."
*strangled scream*
Our "girls' weekend" consisted of my working every moment my daughter would amuse herself, and holding her on my lap at my desk when she wouldn’t. I never left the house except to drop her off and pick her up from school. I finally took her to the mall for dinner because I had promised we’d do something special. I felt like a total jerk.
"Mommy, I don’t like when you have to work every day."
"I don’t either, but it’s just until this project is done. One more week, baby." One more week of staying up all night trying to catch up, that is. I don’t know that I’ll be able to make up the time, but I pray I will.
I'll just draw off that big ole well of faith.
Mindy is a divorced mother who lives in the Bay Area with her three children.
Dearest Mindy, I think your ex needs a reality check. How dare he show disgust at you wanting to know where your boys were. (Three days and he didn't call, Emily Post would not give him brownie points, and neither do I.)
And I feel like flogging him myself, for not calling you each night and making sure you got to speak with your little darlings.
Posted by: LauriJon | March 17, 2006 at 02:54 AM
First, with regards to your little girl I thought I would share this quote: "We don't remember days, we remember moments." You do not need to plan an elaborate day or outing to create special memories for your children.
Second, my husband and Cinderella's bioMom have a long-standing agreement that they are to ALWAYS let each other know ALL details of trips PRIOR to leaving and that Cinderella speak to either one every night before bed. Absolutely nothing is to hinder either of them from being able to communicate with her at any time. Could you work out some similar agreement with your Ex?
Posted by: Wicked Stepmom | March 16, 2006 at 03:43 PM