It's OK, be different

By Robin R.

In our home, books are like a campfire. We gather around them, share the stories, and discuss them. Often when we're not reading the books, we pretend to be the favorite characters or incorporate them in our conversations. "How would Maisy deal with this mess in the kitchen?"

Because I am a lesbian parent, my friends sometimes ask me to recommend children's literature that will help them broach discussions of diversity with their kids. My own kids are both under two, so my knowledge is stronger in the toddler lit category. Here are a few that our nearly-two-year-old chooses regularly.

"It’s Okay to be Different" by Todd Parr is a simple book with bold illustrations that are reminiscent of the art of Keith Haring. The ideas are worded in an open-ended fashion, so that the page that says, "It's OK to have different moms and different dads" applies to divorced and remarried families, as well as gay or lesbian ones.

"Little Miss Spider" by David Kirk is about a spider who is adopted by a beetle named Betty. The moral of the story is that love, not genetic connection, is what makes a family. The story would resonate for adoptive families of any kind.

"ABC: A Family Alphabet" by Bobbie Combs is an alphabet book in which each sentence illustrates a different letter of the alphabet. Each scenario invokes a family with either two moms or two dads. 

One of my fellow DotMoms told me that she and her 6-year-old daughter enjoyed "Heather Has Two Mommies" by Leslea Newman. When my girls are older, we will look into that option.

The question of children's literature and diversity is one that many of us have contemplated. If you have favorite books that teach tolerance, please feel free to share them with us.

Robin R. lives in Texas with her family and works as the Executive Director of Writers in the Schools (WITS).

Comments

[Juanna]

This has inspired me to get a job at Mcdonalds i've had no job ever in my life. i'm poor and dirty and i live on a street. right now i'm on a computer at a walgreens pharmcy!

[christina]

In replying to Chris' post today, I thought I'd mention this book here to b/c of it's inclusion of family diversity in the discussion of sexuality. The book is: It's So Amazing! A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (Hardcover)by Robie H. Harris, Michael Emberley (Illustrator)

From a review, "People are represented with a variety of body shapes and ethnicity, and Harris discusses sexual preferences and alternative family situations. While the illustrations are engaging and often hilarious, factual information is effectively presented in a clear, nonjudgmental tone that will inform and assure readers."

[Laura]

My child just _loves_ King and King (she's 2 and has two mommies). She also likes the Duke who Outlawed Jelly Beans. We bought these and the Combs books (ABC and 123) for our nursery school class as a holiday present.

[suzoz]

A favourite of my son's has been 'Lucy Goes to the Country' by Joseph Kennedy which is about a cat called Lucy who accompanies her owners, a gay couple, to the country for the weekdn and gets into all sorts of trouble.
Another which is more suited to kids aged 5+ is 'A Sailing Ship in the Sky' by Quentin Blake, which is about children and war, racism and cruelty.

[Martha-Lynn]

As a Children's Librarian, I'm always excited I find books that show diversity in families. One of my favorite books is called, appropriately, _Families_ by Susan Kuklin. It gives mini-bios and "typical day in the life" descriptions of all kinds of families-- gay, straight, biracial, divorced, etc. It's at about a third or grade reading level, but FULL of pictures and could easliy be shared one-on-one with a four or five year old. It echoes the DK style in its layout, which I love, and it's brand-spankin' new (2006 copyright).

Another wonderful choice is _My Family is Forever_, by Nancy Carlson. It's just right for preschoolers and is told from the POV of an adopted girl (who is Asian, though her country of birth isn't mentioned).

I agree-- this was a wonderful post!

[Susan]

Great topic, Robin. We have a variety of adoption-themed toddler books. In addition to the ones already mentioned here, A Mother for Choco (Choco is a bird who wanders through the book looking for his mother, and is essentially adopted by a bear and learns that families don't all need to look alike), Through Moon and Stars and Night Skies (international adoption story, with a toddler getting escorted from Asia to be adopted by a White family), I Love you LIke Crazy Cakes (China adoption, single mother), Felicia's Favorite Story (central American infant adoption, lesbian parents, interracial family), How I Met You (straight family, Russian adoption), and Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born (domestic infant adoption) all make the point that families are formed in different ways. (Are there any kids' books with donor insemination in them?) We have Bobbie Combs Family Counting Book which sounds like the alphabet book.

We also try to have some racial diversity in our kids' books--we have a book of Caribbean poetry (can't find it at the moment to get the title) and that brings in some dialect diversity, too.

I'll have to think about books that address tolerance more generally, not just adoption issues. I hope the comments continue.

[Robin P]

Hi Robin,
Was the "Heather has two mommies" comment about me and Lillianna?
'cuz we did love that book. It was the first time that I had talked to Lillianna about different types of families.

Rich and I are not the same religion so Lillianna has learned about that but I wanted her to know that there are many different ways to create a family. The important thing is not "sameness" it's love.

I will have to look into some other books too. Our library is really good about having books on many subjects for kids. After we read "Heather" we read a book on racism which was very eye opening for both of us.

Kids grow up to be loving adults if we teach them correctly.

This was a great post!

[Dana]

And Tango Makes Three is a great story about two male penguins who adopt an egg. It's based on a true story from the NY Central Park Zoo. I've blogged about it recently here. It was recently removed from the children's section of a couple of libraries because of concerns about the "homosexual undertones."

My one caution about the book, which I otherwise love, is that it takes the approach of saying that most penguin pairs are a mama and a papa--Tango has two dads, and that's different, but that's OK." I think this is fine for kids who have already realized their families are "different." For those not yet aware they're in a minority, this book may bring that to their attention in a way they aren't ready for yet. For the right age group, though, this is a touching story with adorable (yet not cutesy) illustrations. It will help them understand that even though families are different, they can still be full of love.

King and King, about a prince who falls in love with another prince, is another good one for the 6-10-year-old set.

[amy h.]

After reading your post I went to our children's book collection to see what kind of books we had to reflect how much we value diversity in our home. I was frankly a little alarmed by what I *didn't* find. We have another book by Todd Parr called "The Family Book" which talks about all kinds of families and I highly recommend this one. We also have a DK book called "A Life Like Mine" which talks about kids from around the world. But beyond that I wasn't sure that we have done a very good job in this department so far. I hope that you get lots of comments to your post so that I can get some more ideas...until then I'm going to be searching the Internet for booklists that teach tolerance and value diversity on all levels. Thanks so much for your post!