Old family recipe for a perfect day

by Chris

Take one sunny day

Mix together:

One new bucket of sidewalk chalk
One long jump rope
Four perfect hopscotch stones

Add songs from childhood
Feel free to experiment with this part and make up some songs, too much silliness will not spoil this recipe

Marinate slowly for several hours, the recipe takes time to develop fully

Alternate periods of physical activity with laying in the grass looking at the clouds

Sprinkle generously with laughter

Listen more than you speak. Kiss more than you are kissed.  Breathe deeply.

Italian Ice with a little wooden spoon optional, but highly recommended

The recipe is a success when a small child proclaims it the bestest day ever.

*****

How often do we spend our weekends running with our children from one activity to another, in the name of enriching their little lives? Birthday parties, baseball games, soccer, art lessons, music lessons, and on and on... Each of these things is valuable on it's own; who doesn't want a well rounded child, but I have to wonder what price our children pay for such scheduled lives. Saying no when your child expresses an interest in an activity is difficult. Trust me, I know. And summer vacation in recent years has seemed like weekends magnified.

But what I have found over the past 11 plus years of being a parent is that down time is equally as important. Perhaps even more so. Time just spent together with your child or children. Time that has no agenda, no demands, no commitments. In a world where we are constantly on the go and in search of new best thing for our children, time is the most elusive thing. Time spent doing one thing is time that can never be re-spent doing something else. We had better make sure it counts. 

I talk with other mothers and we all lament that our kids are so busy. They don't have time to simply be. Time to discover themselves in a way that can only happen when there are no activities to run back and forth to, when boredom has the opportunity to exist.  I firmly believe that boredom is a good thing. Yet opting out of the rat race is difficult, and we worry that somehow our children will miss out.

Even so, this year I am giving my children the gift of time. The gift of entire days stretched out before them, end to end, the limitlessness of possibilities, hours filled with nothing more pressing than a leisurly stroll to the library. And like most good gifts, my children probably won't appreciate it as much now as they will later.      

And so when friends are discussing the various camps, sports clinics, and lessons that their kids will be partaking in this summer, I will simply nod and smile, imagining our days spent lounging on the front porch swing, picnicking high up in a tree fort, and building sand castles at the beach. If pressed, I will say, "Oh we have no elaborate plans this year. We're just going to have a lazy, boring summer."

And I wish the same for you. 

Chris is a writer, artist, wife and the mother of seven children. She lives in an historic old house in New England that is perpetually under renovations.

Comments

[carrien]

Can I come? It sounds heavenly. I don't have a front porch and my town is definitely not reminiscent of Norman Rockwell paintings.

My favorite memories of summer are the two weeks I spent at my grandparents' farm. I loved the lazy afternoons and walks down to the river with the dog, and rasberry picking and shelling peas with grandma on the front porch in the late afternoon, hanging laundry to dry, feeding the chickens and gathering eggs, grandma's canned rasberries with ice cream, and the never ending library in the dim cool basement where I first went to Treasure Island and Sherwood Forest and the Chateau d'If.

[Katie]

Ah, you are making me feel so much better about our super lazy spring break. I don't like to rush around, I can't imagine why the kids would either. Sidewalk chalk and bubbles here we come!

[blackbird]

-no camps, lessons, sports in my house.
summer is for sleeping late, complaining of boredom, and going to the beach.
my Youngest is 11 - Oldest 20, they've turned out fine.

[Meredith]

This is a lesson I am slowly learning. This summer we are going back to the USA stay with my parents, and they started asking what I wanted them to sign my kids up for, and I succeeded in answering..."Nothing, nothing at all. Don't sign them up for anything, we just want to hang out this summer." ...progress is being made :)

[Adria]

That is the one thing we try NOT to do in our home - overschedule!
We are taking it easy and mellow this summer.
I am going to forward this to all my buddies.
Thanks.

[Nettie]

Here, Here! My four kids get to each pick one thing outside of church activities during the school year. But the summer is nothing but unstructured family time: hiking, biking, parades, picnics, sprinklers, homemade ice cream, star gazing, swimming, zoo, the beach. One summer we rounded up large boxes from a furniture warehouse and they spent hours building forts in the backyard. Fun!

[Robin P]

My favorite time is the summer because Lillianna doesn't have Brownie troop meetings or dancing school. I still work 2 days a week and all weekend,but Mondays,Tuesday mornings,Wednesdays,Thursday afternoons and Fridays are all "free" time. We spend a lot of time playing and swimming in the pool and doing fun things with friends.
She does have 2 weeks of dance camp 9am-1pm but that's it. I look forward to just relaxing with my child. It's the best time of the year!

[sweatpantsmom]

Great post. The only thing I would add to your list: One cup of freshly brewed coffee.

I agree with you 200%. I have two girls, 7 and 9, and my husband and I decided long ago that we would limit their activities to one, maybe two a week. Not easy in L.A., where people pile on the activities like Paris Hilton collecting chihuahuas.

We spend alot of time just 'hanging out' - reading, listening to music, sitting outside. They're able to keep themselves busy for long stretches, drawing and making up games. I can always tell their 'overscheduled' friends when they come over - they're the ones who can't keep themselves busy for five minutes and constantly need an adult to lead an activity.

That said, we're on Spring Break with no scheduled activites and I've just played my fiftieth game of Twister...

[onetallmomma]

So true! I have subsribed to the "do less" philosophy for many years. They (4) are rarely bored. There is always a sibling being creative or creating mischeif. And I get to soak them up as they soak up the summer. Although, to be perfectly honest, I am very ready for them to head back to school in Sept!

[Mrs. Davis]

You are a brave woman to take this approach, and I applaud you for it! I have started looking into summer activities for my 6-year-old as much for ME as for HIM. But I'm trying not to go overboard. Relaxing summer days are priceless.

[lammyann]

Wonderful idea... kids DO need more PLAY time.... wayy to much emphasis on organized sport and lesson in this world! :)
HAVE AN AWESOME SUMMER!
*hugs*

[Kris]

I am forwarding this post to my hubby post-haste! He is the over scheduler in this family. Maybe coming from you it will sink in.