Pump it up!

By Leslie

When people ask me if I am nursing my 4-month-old daughter, I am never sure how to respond. You’d think it would be an easy yes/no question, right? But for me, it’s a little more complicated. Yes, she gets fed breast milk but no, I don’t breastfeed her. You see, I exclusively pump (or EP as it is called by many moms) for our daughter, something I would have never have imagined six months ago!

With my first child, I gave up on breastfeeding after four weeks because it was just too hard for me. My son never latched right, he was jaundiced, it hurt like nobody’s business and he was such a voracious eater that I could never keep up with his demand. So we switched to formula, which solved all these problems and worked great for him. 

I’d look at the other mothers at daycare bringing in their little coolers full of yellow-topped Medela bottles, wondering why they were spending all that time pumping at work when formula was just fine. But secretly I’d always been kind of sad that breastfeeding didn’t work for us. It looked so much easier than formula bottles, which involved much dishwashing, refrigeration, and frequent trips to Costco. Plus, I worried that my son and I would not bond as well if we didn’t have that intimate connection. In the end, everything worked out very well and now he’s a happy healthy toddler. But with my next child, I vowed I wouldn’t give up so easily.

Sadly, my daughter had different plans and was not interested in nursing. At. All. So I figured that I'd just pump for a little while so she at least got some breast milk. I thought at first I'd only do it for six weeks tops, then that turned into two months, then three months and now four and a half months, I don’t see myself turning back anytime soon.

As it turns out, pumping is actually not that bad. I usually pump for only 10-15 minutes at the most and it is a great excuse for me to take a breather and watch some TV! The car charger and battery pack make it easy to take the pump along with me wherever I go and anti-bacterial wipes free me from washing pump parts all the time. I only have to pump four to five times a day and have even able to build a freezer stockpile of milk for a later date. Sure, it’s a hassle because I still have to wash and prepare bottles and sometimes making time for pumping is hard with a toddler and an infant in tow, but it is not the arduous task I thought it would be.

In some ways, it is even more convenient for me than breastfeeding. My daughter can suck a bottle down in five minutes, so even if I pump for 15 minutes and then give her a bottle, my total feeding time is 20 minutes. That's way better than the thirty to forty five minutes that some women spend breastfeeding.

She can also go four hours between feedings as she is getting more from the bottle. So I don't always feel like I am tied to the house or to her feeding on demand all the time.  It's also nice to have my husband more involved, too. Now that I am back at work, we split the nighttime wake-up calls 50/50. I'll pump right before bed and then just leave a bottle on the nightstand. If our daughter wakes up, whomever is "on call" just rolls over, pulls her into bed (she's in a co-sleeper in our room), gives her a bottle for five minutes and then she goes right back to sleep.

So when someone asks me if I am nursing, I just nod and say yes. It’s too much to get into the whole pumping explanation, but I am proud to be able to give my daughter the benefits of breast milk, no matter how she gets them!

Leslie lives in northern Virginia with her husband, 2-year-old son and newborn daughter.

Comments

[Lex]

Wow, that is so great that you're pumping, even though your baby isn't up for breastfeeding. I have to say that I don't mind pumping, either (though I don't do it exclusively). Yeah, there is that feeling that you're a moo-cow, but it isn't painful at all, and like you say, it's a great excuse to sit on your heiney for a few blessed minutes.

But who are these people who are asking you if you're nursing your baby? And how is it their business? It drives me nuts when people ask. I feel like saying, "No, I'm not. She mostly drinks juice and pop."

[Alison]

Leslie,
My son was born with tongue tie, and they even clipped it at the hospital - but according to my doctor, not good enough. So, to this day he's tongue tied. For his first week of life, he would not latch on, and actually used my breast as more of a soother than a source of food! I have been pumping since his 1st day of life. Surprisingly, after giving my son a soother, he latched on! However, it was unbelievably painful, but I was just happy he finally latched on!
So, now I nurse once a day, and pump and bottle feed the rest of the day.
My son is now three months, and I'm currently on medication for my milk supply, but we're still going strong!
So, good for you for being so determined!

[Marsha Ransom]

It was interesting to read everyone's comments about EPing, something I hadn't heard of until a friend sent me the link. I had to chuckle at some of the comments. I, too, had two children who wouldn't take a bottle. I also had two who would both breastfeed AND take a bottle. My first child was exclusively breastfed except for supplementary water bottles, at my pediatrician's suggestion; he "supported" breastfeeding but also suggested things that sounded more like formula feeding - like 4 hour schedules, which wreaked havoc with my son's days and nights and my confidence - - I think, looking back, he was often hungry, as I was "afraid" to feed him too often, and he spit up a lot due to feeding very fast and voraciously - did I say he was hungry? ha. My fourth child was adopted and I wanted to breastfeed her so used a supplementor, donated breastmilk and had all the hassles of bottle-feeding and spent much more time than just simply breastfeeding. Bottom line; however I fed my kids, I am thankful for the time spent with them at the breast as it was wonderful bonding time, and I wouldn't trade that time for anything else I could have been doing. We are living in a time when it isn't "necessary" to breastfeed, due to the availability of formula, but there is no replacement for both the perfection of breast milk or the time spent one-on-one with a child. Just my pov.

[Kerri]

I had a similar experience with my first, only I quit after two weeks. Lucky enough to have my 2nd and 3rd nurse well, b/c I think I would've been too lazy to pump, and would still feel guilty about quitting. I'm glad that you were successful, and that more of us moms are able to make the decisions that work best for our families regardless of others' opinions (even when it's hard!).

[abogada]

I too wonder why people even ask. Just like they ask if you are having a vaginal or C-section birth. Anyway, kudos on the pumping. I am still doing a combo of pumping/breastfeeding my toddler -- and people are rude enough to ask about that as well. Apparently, my mother (and presumably her friends) also simply don't approve, joining the company of strangers.

[March]

the one thing that bothers me with all these breastfeeding/formula feeding and any combinaton (EP, supplemnting...) is why do people ask??
is it really important for a stranger how you are feeding your child?
why is it anyone's but my husband, my baby and myself how I feed my child??
It does not matter how you feed your child, as long as he/she is nourished and you are making sure his/her needs are covered...
why do people even ask??

I'm pregnant with my second baby, and as I'm 7 mos and very obviosly pregnant now, I'm starting to get the questions from total strangers, relatives and friends "are you going to breastfeed??"
whether I do it or not is my choice, noone needs to know and certainly this is not up for discussion, how you feed your child is a very personal decision.

why do people even ask?

[veronica]

My second baby refused to take a bottle ever. But she was so skinny that I had to pump to increase production every day till she was weaned at ten months. And every day after pumping I had to pour all that lovely milk down the sink! She would not take it in a bottle. And you are right - pumping isn't that bad. Cleaning the pump is a nuisance, but it is so reassuring to be able to see exactly how much your baby is eating. I'm glad it worked for you.

[Kristi]

I ep'ed for my daughter for over 8 months. I then fed her from the frozen stash exclusively for the next four months to get to my one year goal I had set before I delivered.

I too had this notion that breastfeeding was going to be "natural" and easy. My daughter had much different ideas. We struggled for two weeks with latching, and never got the hang of it. During that time I began pumping to make sure I had something to feed her and so my supply would not diminish. I found that pumping fit my lifestyle and I was still giving my daughter exactly what I wanted: my milk.

It was a compromise, but one I wouldn't change. In fact, I am due in September and plan on pumping exclusively. I wish more lactation consultants would suggest it as a viable option to new mothers. Mine thought I was crazy and told me it would never work. Kudos to you for bringing excusive pumpers to the attention of many!

[Melissa]

I pumped for 14 months for my frist son. He has a heart defect and had to have surgery when he was days old. He was too weak to nurse after the surgery and had feeding issues as well. Through it all I kept pumping knowing that he needed the extra boost that came from my milk. I too had difficulty asnswering the nursing question but I took it as a great way to let people know that there were other ways to feed your baby mother's milk. Yahoo has a great group for mothers that pump called Pumpmoms.

[Roni]

Thanks for the story! My younger sis just had a baby and he wasn't latching on at all. As she said, "he doesn't like boobs." But would happily suck down her breast milk in a bottle. I think she's half & half now, but I always love to tell her stories of other moms who have struggled and have wonderful children despite. :)

[Christine]

Hello Leslie,

I can totally relate to your story. When my son was born in 2004, he was premature and I had to pump it up for 6 weeks before I was able to breastfeed him properly. However, I thought pumping was great and I just kept it going. At the hospital, they also gave him formula when my provisions were low. So, for eight months, we did it all : breastfeeding, bottled breast milk and formula. He just got accustomed to it. The great thing is that when it was time for me to stop breastfeeding (because his little teeth were hurting me and he showed more interest in teething on my breast than drinking!), it was really easy. While on a trip to New York city my milk production lowered and I made the switch. And it went so smoothly.

But when people were asking me if I was breastfeeding, I too started to nod "yes" because explaining my weird methods was too difficult. Some people didn't really understand and some mothers started to tell me that if I gave up un the formula, my milk production would be better. I know they were right but hey, my way was good too.

Good luck with your newborn and just keep doing whatever you feel is right ;-)

Christine

[Kristina]

I am an EPing mom to a 11 week old baby girl and I too just say "yes" to the nursing question. I love pumping. I am a HS teacher and have been out of work since Mya was born and pumping has been great. I hope to be able to keep up my pumping once I go back to work at the end of the summer.

Anywaay, congrats on you pumping accomplishments.

[Amy]

I breastfed Isabelle for 3 - 4 weeks. I had major post partum depression and really resented this "thing" that was invading my "personal" space and making me sweat in the August heat. I literally had to force myself to do it. Then, I got an infection in my c section area and had to go on anti-biotics which made my milk dry up. The second I started bottle feeding her...my PP went away and I bonded with my daughter more than I ever could...I got the lectures from breastfeeding nazis and dirty looks from other mothers...(I couldn't believe it myself) but I was doing what was best for me and MY baby. Different women do it different ways...i congratulate you for doing it the way that is best for you and your family. Congrats!