My so-called writing life

By Amy H.

For the first time since becoming a stay-at-home mom a little over five years ago I have both of my children in school for some of the time during the week. My big plan was to use those precious hours to work on establishing myself as a freelance writer. The first step in my plan was to send a query letter and writing sample to a parenting magazine. So far so good, right? I’ve got a plan and I’ve got a realistic goal and I’ve got child-free time to put the plan into action...

...and so far I have a really clean house…and a really clean van…and a really clean garage. If my writing career stays on this track I’ll soon be inviting you all over to witness the cleanest basement east of the Mississippi!

I’ve sorted toys in the kids’ rooms, mopped the laundry room floor, and kept so far ahead of the laundry that the hampers are beginning to collect dust – which reminds me, I need to go dust. The closest I’ve come to meeting my writing goal was when I sat down at my computer desk to begin work on the letter and realized that my desk needed to be organized. While taking care of this task I remembered that I had volunteered to send donation requests to all of my neighbors for a very worthy charity – so I did that too.

I’m actually beginning to think of things to add to my to-do list that I never before thought possible as a mother of two young children. Antiquing frames for the old-fashioned baby photos of my daughter suddenly seems like a reasonable activity. But that will have to wait until I’m finished with my landscaping design, which will incorporate a butterfly garden, imported tulip bulbs, Disney-quality topiaries and, of course, a koi pond.

If I were seeing myself in therapy, I would ask, “Amy, what are you avoiding by filling up your child-free time with all of these chores?” And I would answer, “Well…getting started as a freelance writer?” And I would supportively ask myself, “How do you feel about getting started as a freelance writer?” And I would mutter, “Uhm…scared?” And I would gently encourage, “Can you tell me what is scaring you about getting started?” And I would blush and say, “Being rejected and failing?” And I would give myself some small homework assignment that wouldn’t be too hard and would guarantee success, like writing the first line of the query letter. And it would all seem so simple, and I would feel better after I wrote that first sentence.

What do you do to stay on track with your personal goals?

Amy H. is a thirty-something SAHM and part-time psychology professor living in the deep South with her husband and two children.

Comments

[Beth Vogt]

I smiled as I read your post. It's so, so true. As much as I know that deep in my heart I am meant to write, I can let lots of other, less important things get ahead of my writing goals.

What do I do to refocus? Connect with other writers once a week in writers group. Nothing like camraderie and critique to spur one to write!
www.mommycomelately.com

[Hsien Lei]

Gosh, I can't imagine cleaning being better than writing or anything else. :D

To achieve my personal goals, I just plunge in and get to it. Don't give yourself too much time to think. Just do it!

[Alice]

Oh Amy...you know I have no advice. I'm the queen of cleaning as a form of procrastination. Sadly, I haven't had much to procrastinate lately so the house is a wreck!

[Robin P]

I can't offer any advice. I've been trying to get up the courage to send my childrens book to a publisher for about 7 years.I can't seem to do it because I am so terrified of being rejected.
I wish my procrastination caused me to clean but usually,it causes me to eat!!
Good luck!

[Pink]

No real ideas, but a vote of solidarity. I find unless I have an absolute deadline in front of me, it's really hard to motivate myself to work--especially the marketing to get more work stuff.

BTW, like Sarah suggested, I've been thinking about taking my laptop to Starbux to get out of the house and away from the house projects. Maybe that will help.

Good luck!

[Amy Mollin]

I have time for personal goals? Right now I am down to having a happy child, a healthy marriage, and not getting fired ;-)

[Sarah]

Hmmm...maybe you need to do your writing outside of the house, at a coffee shop or park or library that way it is separate from your life in the house and there will be fewer things demanding your attention? Or, you could find a writing buddy to keep you on track! You could meet (or email) once a week or once a month and encourage each other and have to share at least a little bit of what you have produced.

But, easier said than done, I KNOW! I find it hard to make the commitment to write, too.

[Jenn]

Boy this is a tough one. The other night instead of writing letters, I re-organized ALL the kitchen cabinets.

It's hard to stay on track sometimes, especially when the goal is scary or not the most exciting.

Good luck with the writing, hope to see some more of it soon.