Double the pleasure, become more undone

By Amber

I know women have been giving birth to multiple children for a long time. Well, for at least 34 years when I made my unabashed entrance into this world as child No. 2. How my dear mother survived it all and even chose to have a third is often beyond me.

My transition from one to two children has been a bit rocky, though I am happy to report that 2-year-old Hurricane Hadley's tantrums have abated.

Of course, life had to hit rock bottom before it got better and everything recently bottomed out. Hadley was throwing tantrums over everything we did, said or even thought. Yes, the kid is even a mind reader.

After she spent the majority of her day recently in timeout, my husband and I decided we needed an intervention. Obviously, discipline wasn't working so we tried an approach you'll find only in "Amber's Guide to Toddler Tantrums": we made a rare appearance at McDonald's and stuffed her with sugar, trans fats and Playland. Don't judge me until you try it because she returned to her delightful self after that hedonistic evening.

As for her brother Bode, he's easygoing and even-tempered; my testament to just how colicky and difficult Haddie really was as a baby. I can finally see why people enjoy newborns.

I still remember when my friends Dave and Rebecca came to stay with us last summer. Their daughter, Sienna, was only a few months old and I could have sworn she was the Baby Jesus Incarnate. She behaved perfectly: she slept like a dream, never cried and would entertain herself for long periods of time. Because there was nothing more fascinating than gazing at the air in front of her. They would also fight over her:

"No, Dave, it's my turn to hold Sienna."
"Becca, you've had her for too long. It's my turn."

Don't get me wrong. We loved the Hurricane and even fought over her. But our arguments were more along the lines of:

"No, Jamie. I've had her all day. Take the child NOW."
"No way. I've filled my quota for the rest of my life."

Bottom line, Jamie and I looked at our friends like they were some disgusting, lovesick couple guilty of unadulterated PDAs. Oh wait. That used to be us before we had The Hurricane. Coincidentally, it was Dave who christened her with that nickname. I'm hoping they give birth to a tornado the next time around. It's only fair, right?

Jamie and I tried to comfort ourselves by believing Sienna was a boring little slug. I mean, she just laid there and never made a peep; at least Hadley had some spunk, right?

However since having my own slug, I have deemed it a beautiful thing. And if I could be assured I'd give birth to a miniature mollusk and not another natural disaster, maybe -- just maybe -- I'd go for No. 3.

Amber is a former adventure-travel writer turned adventurous unraveling mother to two-year-old Hurricane Hadley and baby Bode.

Comments

[Kerri]

Our first was soooo calm. Our second is our tornado. We have a third, but only b/c we got pregnant quickly (which was very unusual for us), and we didn't know how crazy it would be with #2. We might have stopped there if we'd known! Good thing for us that we didn't. #3 is pretty darn low-key....so far.

[Amy]

I've only had one child...and she was the perfect angel for the first 2 years...slept through the night since she was one month...never really cried that much...very happy...very bubbly...very social. And even though now she's very social...very bubbly still...she can be a terror.....kids change...a great infant can be a horrid toddler...a horrid toddler can be a wonderful pre-teen...and so on and so forth....

:) Loved this post!!

[Amy]

My son (our firstborn) was colicky and pretty much miserable for the first 6 months. The child loved to scream, hated sleep and generally was a handful.

I had twin girls 4.5 years later and I can honestly say taking care of both my 'slug' daughters was MUCH easier than the son. People would marvel at how difficult twins would be but I knew.. one colicky kid is much harder than two slug babies (who slept!)

[Bethany]

This isn't helping my pregnant-with-2nd-child-right-now condition. First kid--other than nursing every 1.5 hours for the first 2 years of his life and never sleeping a solid chunck of time til he was 2.5 years old--was an angel. I am a bit fearful of who this next one will turn out like...

[tina]

enjoyed the article. I see that you live in COlorado. We'd like to visit in December with our 4 and 2 yr old girls. Is there a place you'd recommend as more kid-friendly than others? Thanks a lot!

[Jenn]

Oh, that sounds just like me and my sis, except opposite. I was the first and the easy one. Then my sister came and was an absolute hellion. That's why there's only two of us.

My first has been very very easy going and done fine. Now my mom says with baited breath: just you wait, your time will come.

thanks for jinxing us mom!

[Manny]

We just had #3. And I'm still numb from it all. Funny post!!