Snip Snip

By Amy H.

My husband and I have decided that we are done and, thus, that it is time to have "it" done. When we went to "the consultation," which by our southern State law I was required to attend, the doctor asked how long we had been thinking about having the "procedure."

"Well, let me see," I replied thoughtfully. "I'd have to say I started thinking about 'it' at the 20-week ultra-sound appointment with our second child. The technician said, 'It's a girl!' and I said, 'OK! One of each. I'm happy. We're done.' Then I really started thinking about 'it' again around week 35 when I found that I could no longer sleep without losing sensation in my extremities. I thought about 'it' pretty continuously during weeks 36 through 39 while I was whining about my sciatica, heartburn, shortness of breath, and on my way to the bathroom… all… night… long.

"I thought about 'it' every single time I tried to use my stomach muscles (like to sit up or to stand or to breathe) for about 4-6 weeks after my planned C-section. I thought about 'it' at 2 a.m. each morning during my daughter's first and second (and third!) month of life while I bounced her back and forth and back again across our bedroom carpet while she screamed her little heart out. She never really stopped screaming, so I've been thinking about 'it' pretty continuously for the past 2 years or so. She's a doll (you know, a little like those Edvard Munch dolls). But I'm done."

The doctor looked at me and smiled nervously, "OK, that's a bit more information than I needed, but clearly you've thought 'it' over."

Then the doctor jumped into his description of the "procedure" which is to include Valium, if needed, and an IV, if requested, but without a doubt will most definitely require a jock strap and a bag of frozen peas. I ignored my husband's pained expression and nodded enthusiastically at the doctor while promising to fulfill my wifely duties (i.e., signing the release –- and remembering the jock strap). He went on in great detail about the "injection," the "incision," the "cutting," the "cauterizing," the "clipping," and the "suturing." Turning a blind eye to my husband's strangely pale and sweaty appearance I eagerly inquired, "Yes, yes, Doctor, where do I sign?"

I'm joking, of course. I love my daughter. I loved being pregnant with her. I loved (almost) every moment with her since I learned of her very existence. I am a very happy mommy. And, I am done.

Snip. Snip.

How will you know when you are done?

Amy H. is a thirty-something SAHM and part-time psychology professor living in the deep South with her husband and two children.

Comments

[Shana]

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[Kris]

HMMMM...my doc says he can do it by laser...no "snip snip" per say. It sure made my dh more comfy. How do I know I am done? Because as much as I love my kids, I want a life. I'm done.

K.

[Amy]

I have a godson who is a V-baby. His father was "fixed" quite a few years before his conception. of course the whole, "there is NO WAY this is my baby...I'm FIXED" thing that went through his mind...but after doing his thing in a cup....he had a sperm count of ONE.

:) snip snip isn't fool proof I guess :)

[Jenn]

Oh my heck that made me laugh so hard! We have been joking about "it" ever since our daughter was born 15 months ago. I know we still want more, but we all have those days!

I also think it's the least the hubby can do after all we've gone through!

[Shelley]

Always a difficult decision - best of luck, and don't forget the frozen peas!

[Maria P.]

My first pregnancy was so miserable I wouldn't have had a second if I didn't want a girl. Luckily I too got one of each. 6 weeks before my daughter was born my husband got a vasectomy. I swore up and down that I'd never want more children. I would have bet my life. At that time I was so done.

Now, I wish we didn't. I'd love to have two more. However besides the $5k the reversal will cost that could be put towards our huge house remodel, the work and the cost of two more children would not work well with us.

So unless we win the lottery. It looks like two is it for us. I got a cat and a dog instead. Its not the same but its enough work to keep my baby cravings at bay.

Hope your husband heals up quickly. After the sperm has been checked, the sex w/o worries is really nice.

[Amy]

I never really was sure I was done.

When my twins were 2 months old (and still waking every two hours like little dememted clocks)and my son 4.5, husband decided he wanted the procedure. He was DONE. He got the son and daughter he wanted plus a bonus girl baby, he was happy and DONE.

Funny though as when we were dating he always said he wanted 3 kids and I said two would be plenty. Bingo, twins, win win situation.

Here in Canada no need for my consent and he trudged to the doc for his procedure and was a trooper. I was waiting for the inevitable whining/drama but he knew better ;) (Because I would have reminded him I went through a pregnancy, delivery, a miscarriage at 3 months and then a twin pregnancy and vaginal delivery with one twin breech.) He knew better!

[annette]

I knew I was done when I was in my eighth month and I was still throwing up every single day. He's now 3 1/2 and will continue to be an only child!

[bebemiqui]

I went overseas to visit a friend when I was 4 mos prego. She's NOT, I repeat, NOT a kid person...and she has 4! I was so terrified that I started to think about my own sanity limits. They were reached at 2 and I gleefully had my tubes tied!