Notsomuch days

By Leslie

My newly-married sister is hoping to start a family soon and I was recently trying to explain to her what it's like to have kids. 

Some days, I told her, are perfect. The kids are well-behaved, loving and endearing. Neither my husband nor I raise a voice all day; instead, we alternate between snorting from laughing at the adorable things our kids do to tearing up with happiness when we see our children learn something new. On those days, it seems totally right and natural to be a mom, like I was born solely for this purpose.

Oh, and let's not forget all the clever things that come out of our toddler's mouth or the sweet way that our 8-month-old gently rubs my face as she falls asleep. Even the laundry and the cleaning don't seem like chores because I feel so wonderful providing for these little creatures and helping them to grow!

Other days... notsomuch. You find yourself sitting on the family room floor playing with the kids and praying for bedtime to come quickly. Your eyes drift to the clock often, wondering when your husband will get home and relieve you. "He said he’d be home at 6. It's 6:01. Why didn't he call and tell me he'd be late!?  Just how many times in one day can a woman pretend to rescue a baby marmoset with Diego? Heck, what IS a baby marmoset anyway and why does my 3-year-old know and not me? When am I off-duty!?" 

Those days, dinner for the kids is a thrown-together plate of cheese cubes, baby yogurt, frozen peas and pretzels. The books you pick out for bedtime? The shortest ones you can find. And those recommended 2 minutes of teeth brushing? Nah, 30 seconds will do. After all, they are baby teeth -- they're just gonna fall out eventually, right? After a quick hug and kiss goodnight, you collapse onto the couch, exhausted and guilty that today wasn't one of those perfect days.

Can you guess which type of day we have more often at our house?

But regardless of how many of those "notsomuch" days you have, the perfect days keep you going, recharge your batteries, refresh your spirit and make you damn glad you had kids in the first place. There really isn't anything better than when your child tells you he loves you for the very first time ever. For that, I'd rescue a million baby marmosets!

Leslie lives in northern Virginia with her husband, toddler son and infant daughter.

Comments

[Shiri]

So true. I particularly sympathized with the "when am I off-duty" thing.

[Karen]

Oh, you described a "notsomuch" day perfectly - especially with the books and brushing teeth! LOL!

[melissa b.]

I love this post. I love the label of "notsomuch days." It's sometimes easy to feel like those days are just failures, but you know what? You're right. It's just a notsomuch day, we did okay, we can now move on to tomorrow! Thank you.

[Robin P]

Great post! We can all identify with this.

The great days do make up for the ones that aren't so fabulous. Luckily,Lillianna is 9 and we have many more great days than not so great days at this age but I do remember the earlier years when I wanted to run screaming from the house on the not so good days.

[Camille]

Thank you! I loved this post. Even though you know you're not alone in toddler and babyland, it helps so much to have that fact reaffirmed with a post like this.

[Karen]

Ah, those good days are what I call memorable "Mommy Moments!"

[Dawn]

Wow, that rings so true, even down to the Diego reference. My 2.5 year old walks around with fake "field journals" and "spotting scopes." Glad to hear that those notsomuch days aren't just happening in our house.