By Lana
It started off as a routine grocery shopping trip. I had dropped my toddler off at his grandma's so it was only me and my newborn on this expedition as I headed to the only supermarket on the island of Thailand that has grocery carts with infant seats, a wonderful and thoughtful feature.
It was a weekday morning, so we were able to get around the store and through the checkout line with speed and ease. As I was paying, Chalida started to cry, so I finished up and sat at the bench near the exit –- another thoughtful feature -- for a quick feeding, and then we were on our way.
Or so I thought.
As I walked through the exit I heard a loud, "No!"
I looked over and saw a uniformed woman coming toward me rapidly, "No! No! No!"
"No what?" I asked. "What's no?"
"No, you can't leave here."
"Why?"
"You must change the cart. You can't take out the baby cart."
Suddenly, I heard a woman shouting.
Seconds later, I realized it was me.
"Why, why, why? Why!" I asked forcefully, in two languages.
The woman didn't explain. Instead, she said that I would have to put all my grocery bags into another cart, a cart with no baby seat, then I could take that cart out of the store.
"You mean I have to push a full cart of groceries out, down to the underground parking lot, while holding my baby at the same time? Why, why, why! Except for the little seat, they're exactly the same! Why can't I just take this one?"
No answer. Nothing.
"Humpph!" If you can't explain the reason for the rule, then in my mind it's rendered invalid.
I should explain that here in Thailand, as anyone even marginally aware of the culture knows, shouting and openly expressing anger or frustration is a big no-no, and it will most likely produce a reaction exactly opposite to what you're hoping to elicit with your yelling. I've known this since I first landed in Bangkok 11 years ago, but I just didn't care. I was mad as hell at this idiotic store policy, and I felt I had to stand my ground.
Knowing that any further rants or requests to see the manager would be met with stony silence, I stormed back into the store, my newborn jiggling gleefully in her now-precious seat.
I quickly headed to the other exit. As I approached, I saw another uniformed woman standing by. This time, I employed a technique more in line with the local culture and did what most Thais do when they know they're being subversive: I avoided eye contact, breezed past her, then rolled on out to the elevator.
After pressing the button, I stood and waited for the elevator to come, not looking back once, even when I heard footsteps approaching rapidly behind me. The doors opened and I trundled in, pressing the button to close the doors as I entered.
Breathing a sigh of relief, and feeling a bit silly about the last five minutes of my life, I rode the elevator down, then with ease and a slight feeling of triumph, I loaded the baby and groceries into the car and drove away.
Gloria Steinem said that women get more radical with age. I think that's true, especially if the woman is a mom who just wants to get one of her daily tasks done as efficiently as possible, without harassment, without hassle. Now that I'm a mother of two, I realize I'm prepared to fight tooth and nail for an extra five minutes of "happy family time," and I'm no longer willing to put up with any amount of crap that's flung my way.
The meek may well inherit the earth, but they're not going to get the grocery shopping done.
Lana is a freelance writer and mother of two, living in a state of perpetual confusion peppered with moments of joy, in Phuket, Thailand.
Good for you!! Sitting here in NC, cheering you on... :)
Posted by: Karen | December 01, 2006 at 10:24 AM
You go, Girl!
Posted by: amy h. | December 01, 2006 at 10:19 AM
Oh, I feel your pain. My two year old is a terror in the grocery store and I rarely bring her anymore, but I had to take her with me just before American Thanksgiving--when the stores are packed. The only way she would stay in the cart was to be in the basket, not the seat. Yes, I know that it's not safe. And, yes, I know that children have suffered injuries, but I was trying to get a few items and get the hell out without having my child cause a major scene. So when the guy with the Giant Eagle badge said to me, "Do you know that isn't safe?" he was within an inch of having a crate of clementines shoved up his... well, you know where. I hissed back, "Yes, I am aware." but still felt the tears gathering behind my eyes at his judging tone. In the end, I put the clementines back and left the store without buying anything.
Posted by: Pink | November 30, 2006 at 07:33 PM
I didn't know that about thailand. Great post, I love your writing style. I'm glad you got your shopping done!
Posted by: Jenn | November 30, 2006 at 02:07 PM