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December 15, 2006


Ethan Rehman

Your child's safety is top priority. Even when you drive safely, there's still a chance that you might get into an accident. What if your child's not buckled up and that happened? Always make it a point to check their seatbelts before driving out.


Robin, Just wanted to say that I think your reaction was a little harsh. I found your site by reading your post on being judged by having your child hooked up with to a wrist leash, people were giving you a hard time, and saying mean things to you. You seem to be doing the same to the parents of the abducted child and your mom. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you:)


Oh please - get over yourself.



While I can appreciate your desire for your mom to be safe, as well as your concerns that others potentially endanger their children by not using car seats properly, I agree with Momof5 and Nicole's comments that perhaps you were a bit harsh and quick to reprimand your mom. Considering the fact that your mom was in a state of panic about your child's bee sting, and the fact that she recognized that help existed just down the street, I can certainly understand that she may have either forgotten or actively chosen not to use time to buckle her in because of her sense of emergency. I might feel differently if mom had a habit of disregard for the car seat, but based on what you described, it sounds like this was an isolated, emergency incident. I wonder if mom is not, in fact, dinging you for being "overprotective", but instead mom is feeling hurt and angry because you aren't recognizing that her actions were also in the efforts of protecting your daughter.

My other reaction to your post was the same as Momof5's--I would think that as a mother, your first reaction to hearing about an abducted child would be fear, sadness, and empathy for the poor child and parents involved--not to blame them for not having the right car seat.


i think car seats are are a pain But I'd much rather deal with the hassle of moving it and the difficulty buckles than to ever let my daughter ride without one i don;t get how anyone could think that it would be all right to let their child ride without one even if it is a short trip because accidents happen all the time and a child not buckled up adds to your distraction of driving.


you are totally right Robin! I hate to see kids not buckled in their seats, and infants not properly secured, makes me nuts. There was a story hear of a 3 year old girl, who jumped out of her car and into the street... she was killed. It was very sad, I think about my son as well. He is in a booster seat, but can remove his seatbelt by himself. I always talk to him about safety. Its important not to take safety for granted! good reminder to us all, thanks!


Have you read the book Freakanomics? There is a section on child mortality in which the author compares the actual statistical probability of a child getting hurt in different situations with the amount of "air time" those situations get in the media and in parenting books. The likelihood of a child getting hurt in a car accident because he is not in a proper car seat or badly installed car seat are dwarfed by the chances of the child drowning in his own home (in a bath or pool). Instilling a healthy respect for the law in your child is admirable. Its also great that you try your best to keep her safe. But I think that arguing with your mom over that incident was a bit irrational. If your daughter was going into anaphylactic shock from a bee sting (which was more likely to happen than a fatal car accident over the course of a few residential blocks) she could have died in the extra time it took your mother to put your daughter into a car seat and buckle it up and then go around the car to her own seat and buckle up and drive to get help. I think one of the hardest things about parenting today is balancing all this information we have thrown at us to make rational decisions and not get fixated on the latest "scientific" research on what is going to kill our child.


I agree with Maria, and you, Robin. Seatbelts are not an option. If my mom ever did that, with no seatbelt, she'd probably be afraid to tell me! LOL. We use the safety features we have today for a reason -- to stay alive and well. If I was behind that car with the kids crawling all over, I'd consider calling the cops!


Sometimes I feel like the biggest risk I take is putting my 7 yr old on a school bus every morning. When he gets in our car he buckles up with a booster - but not on that big school bus...

Seat belts and car seats aren't optional and we keep an extra booster for the times when we might have an extra kid with us.

My in-laws pull the we didn't have car seats when we were young stuff on us - sorry - yes, we survived, but a lot of people didn't. Didn't have a lot of safety features but we do now. I have a child who's the product of modern medicine - 20 yrs ago he'd be dead - progress is a good thing...


The FIRST thing you thought of when you read that story was about the carseat dilema????? Not the whole coyote/smuggling dilema?


You should never judge your own mother harshly...

Someday, your precious perfect daughter will throw something like this in your face as well.. and you'll wish you were kinder to your Mom...

Robin P

Antigonos: Following THE LAW in my state is not pathological...it's THE LAW!
As a physician,I would think you'd be want to keep kids safe.


As the mother of three adult children, and a medical professional, I think you're obsessive to the point of pathology.

Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom

I'm such a stickler for riding in car!s My daughter doesn't get into any one's car but mine and my husband's! And the car seat is a MUST. She's not big enough or a booster just yet, but she's almost there. She's tall and skinny and she'll be like Lillianna...in a booster at least until she's 9.

I would die if she every went into anyone's car let alone without a seat! Oh, there'll be hell to pay.

I think I'M overprotective.

I have a neighbor with a 4 year old. No seat. AND the kid drives around in the front...on her mother's lap! All over the place. I want to call someone so bad about that.

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