By Kristen C.
I have nothing against pink. It's a great color. You know, breast cancer awareness, a well-cooked steak, sapphires. And dresses or skirts, while fairly limiting when it comes to active toddler activities (like anything that involves more than sitting quietly in a chair or sleeping), are all fine and dandy. Hey, they got us through three months of wearing a leg cast, so I really shouldn't complain.
But when it comes to my daughter, I've tried to steer fairly far away from the overwhelming amount of pink and the "I swear it's a skirt, but clearly it's more like a belt" mini-skirts that seem to be forced down the throats of mothers with daughters.
Apparently girls don't like airplanes, trains, alligators, or elephants. And if they do, they must be pink. And "spoiled rotten" or "cute as a cupcake."
Ack.
Part of me isn't surprised at the current state of oversexualization of our society when you look at all the crap we're given in which to dress our girls. It's either blue trucks and yellow bulldozers, or pretty pink ponies and purple balloons.
Hmmm... I wonder who's got the power?
And so I've tried valiantly to dress my daughter in browns and blues, buy her cars and blocks, and offer her pants and sneakers. Sure, there's a bit of pink, but for the most part, I try to show her a plethora of options, most of which do not include lace or beading of any kind. And while she loves to put on makeup (thanks to watching me get ready every morning), and coddle baby dolls, I still believe I'm raising a well-rounded fairly un-girly girl who likes playing house just as much as banging on a tool bench.
But then just the other day, she came home from a shopping trip with a new Build-a-Bear dog dressed in... you guessed it... pink furry Ugg boots, a bright pink miniskirt, and a pink sweater with sequins.
SEQUINS???!!!!
My only thought? It had to be my mother-in-law.
Kristen is a former college music professor turned stay-at-home-mother/rock star to her daughter Quinlan.
The problem nowadays is that children and even toddlers have "role models" to follow. Look at that Discovery show "Toddlers and Tiaras" or the way in which paparazzi are following Tom Cruise's daughter, Suri Cruise, all over the place, just to present her outrageous outfits for a 5 yr old. I mean.. c`mon highheels and mini-bras? Please, keep up building your daughters color culture (because that is what it`s all about in the first place) so she won't end up dressing like Lady Gaga in years to come, I`ve already seen to many of those. Thank you, nice post, good luck !
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Posted by: Air Jordan sale | January 28, 2010 at 01:15 AM
Have you ever heard the term pretty in pink, everyone looks good in pink including (i bet..you) I am also a firm believer in letting children dress themselves, but i had to draw the line when my daughter wanted to wear her Easter dress with sneakers. there is a time and a place for everything. Do you think kids make the clothes or clothes make the kids. Some people might think clothes are a trivial thing to talk about, but my mom always says people are judged by their appearance and you can never change a bad first impression. Well enough with the quotes just thought i would share my thoughts on this rainy afternoon.
Posted by: erin straticos | April 17, 2007 at 04:50 PM
My MIL used to buy clothes for my girls at the consignment shop "because they were such a great deal." TWICE she came with demin decked out with lace (what -- does she want my girls to be trashy? Who wears that???).... I tore the seams open, ripped out the lace, and sewed the clothes back up. And the girls ONLY wore those things to Nannie's house.
"Where's the cute lace?"
"It was horrid, so I took it out. Please don't buy that stuff. I don't want them to look sleazy."
She has stopped buying them anything embellished, thankfully. But it definitely took a while.
Oh -- and I have girly girls that love pink, but also LOVE the Power Rangers and cannot WAIT for tne next season to start.... Helen and I regularly have fights because she wants to wear her Power Rangers shirt with her Easter dress, which cracks me up. So you can have a girly girl that argues with the boys over who gets to be the Red Ranger today. I love it!
Posted by: Elaine | January 28, 2007 at 03:02 PM
God, thank you. I just found out my second child is a... gasp.. girl.
I wasn't a girlie girl and for seven years, I've been mother to a boy. A boy's boy. Here I am at 20 weeks and bulging and I was downstairs yesterday showing my boy how to throw a football - the correct way to get a spin on it. I can't imagine having a tea party.
I've looked at the bedding and clothing for infant girls at the places I'm likely to register and all I see for girls is this God-awful pink and purple. Gag me with a spoon (which is what pink and purple make me think of - Valley Girls).
Maybe I need to design a line of clothes for the pink-challenged: girls clothes for the independent infant. Peaches and greens and blues. Trucks with Wendy instead of Bob the Builder driving as the embrodiery. Tan ponies on cream. Let's get Pat Summitt to design a line of clothes!
Seriously, I wear dresses and do my hair and makeup. I've very feminine - looking... but I do NOT like pink (or purple).
After looking at baby clothes for my future daughter, I was beginning to think I was the ONLY one. Thankfully, I am not.
Posted by: DontLikePink | January 26, 2007 at 12:31 PM
Kristen-
I noticed that we (at least superficially) have a lot in common. I am Korean American (adopted) and my husband was in the Army until recently. We live in Dallas now. I have a 2.5 little boy who bears a striking resemblence to your daughter. I am working very full time and struggling with the balance issue. Let me know if you wnat to correspond directly to [email protected] - I don't see an email address for you here.
Best of luck with baby #2!
Posted by: Natalie | January 02, 2007 at 12:08 AM
My favorite colors have always been pink and purple so I dressed Lillianna in those colors when she was very young.
Now that she is 9,she is still drawn to those colors although anything that looks "cheetah-like" is her favorite...or anything with fur,jewels or glitter.
I don't think that clothes or toys makes a child strong or weak. I don't care if she plays with dolls or a truck. She is a smart and confident child and if she becomes president one day,I hope she is wearing pink!
Posted by: Robin P | December 10, 2006 at 02:56 PM
We have two daughters, and we've been amazed by how much pink clothing we have received--as gifts, hand-me-downs, etc. The highly gendered state of clothing for toddlers has also been a shock. Our girls are ages 1 and 2. The 2 year old likes to wear blue and green the best. We have yet to discover the preferences of the younger daughter. Knowing the way siblings divide and conquer, she'll probably fall in love pink. Luckily she does look good in it.
Thanks for a great post.
Posted by: Robin | December 09, 2006 at 08:33 AM
Sure, trucks and bulldozers are "power," but when your little son's favorite color is purple and his favorite animal is not a lizard and he doesn't like trucks -- our dilemma is just as ugly as yours. Girls are supposed to be denied any role but ornament; boys are allowed only to run, crush, and destroy. I can't freaking TAKE it.
Posted by: goodsandwich | December 09, 2006 at 04:09 AM
We have similar issues [translation = stinky pinky] I suspect it's largely a West Coast phenomenon, but that's based mainly upon watching 'Sesame Street' where girls where all sorts.
Cheers
Posted by: Maddy | December 08, 2006 at 04:36 PM
I had the same attitude before I had children. But I have learned that there is inborn personality that is beyond my doing. My 2-year-old is a girly girl in spite of my efforts to dress her in gender neutral colors and give her toys both girly and boy-like. I do think all kids like sparkles, but Esme particularly likes sparkles and purses and jewelry, etc. Then again, she can play with the boys on the playground and make her trucks go "Vroom vroom!" I guess my question is, do we have to suppress the feminine side of our children in order to make them more powerful? Can't we encourage both sides of them?
Posted by: aeron | December 08, 2006 at 11:07 AM
For what it's worth, my son is totally drawn to that same outfit. What kid doesn't love sparkles?
Posted by: Betsy | December 08, 2006 at 08:25 AM
Okay - I have to say I would have written that - before I had two boys. After two boys I was so sick of blue - is blue the only thing they'll wear - no now that they're 5 and 7 they also wear grey - and black - sweat pants. I'm having so much fun dressing my tough girly girl. She wears dresses and tights and likes barrets and her dolls - as well as taking her brothers' trucks, balls and space ships. There's no question who has the power in our house - the little she devil;)
Good luck to you tho!
Posted by: maria | December 07, 2006 at 03:40 PM
OMG...I totally understand where you are coming from. I firmly insist that my daughter's room is rose, not pink. OK, it's pink. But she's so tough & gritty that she's not a girly-girl. OK, she is, but she can also climb anything.
Can I also say that I *hate* that most of the sports clothing for girls is in pink.
BUT...I like that we can shop in the boys section without too much trouble. Twice as much clothing to choose from!
Posted by: Roni | December 07, 2006 at 02:34 PM