By Amanda
Every year as Christmas approaches I get increasingly anxious. It's the combination of having to do everything holiday along with having to work and continuing to take care of my family. But more and more, it's my growing concern that Christmas represents "getting" to my children instead of "giving."
They are inundated by commercials on television, bright catalogs in the mail featuring the latest toys, and their friends on the playground who talk about scooters, Game Boys and The Cheetah Girls. Santa only brings three gifts per child at my house (grandparents bring 700 of course), but as my oldest pointed out the other day: "He brings three really good gifts."
I'm not a Scrooge, but I don't like what Christmas has become. In December, two of my dearest friends turn 40. As a result, we are missing some Christmas parties, and to be honest, I'm thrilled. Celebrating my friends' birthdays is more important to me because it is a night of real fellowship without Christmas sweaters, eggnog and unrealistic sentiments that we can't seem to live up to the other 12 months of the year.
I know what you're thinking. Adopt a family, pitch in at a charity, and donate money instead of buying gifts. These are all good ideas, and things that we do, but it's not enough. I feel like Christmas is a carousel spinning out of control, and I want to get off. We've talked about going away for Christmas, just the immediate family, no gifts, just togetherness. We didn't plan far enough in advance this year, but next year may be the year I make it happen.
In the meantime, I heard a story this weekend that gave me some hope. A man from church said he and his wife (who is in retail) had been working long hours and were exhausted. He said he was taking out the trash Saturday night and there were literally a thousand things running through his mind. When suddenly, he noticed something: silence.
He looked up and saw an almost-full-moon illuminating long, wispy, white clouds that filled the sky. For that moment he said his worries drifted away as he took in the peacefulness and the beauty of the setting. The moment was so powerful for him he said he felt like waking up his young daughter and sharing it with her. At the end of his story the room full of adults was literally speechless (counting me) as he wished that we all might find our Silent Night amidst the noise of the holidays.
Amanda lives in North Carolina with her husband and two daughters.
My parents "unplugged" for a few days a couple of years ago at Kanuga. (http://www.kanuga.org/guestperiods/christmas.asp) We visited them a few times while they were there. It was so magical. I saw a lot of families just hanging out together - enjoying each other's company. We're going to try to do this with my in-laws next Christmas. I honestly can't wait to get off the holiday roller-coaster and sit back and watch. :)
Posted by: Karen | December 09, 2006 at 08:49 PM
A few years back I found a book called something like 'Unplug Christmas' which helped me to work out what was important to us and what wasn't - we ditched the stuff that wasn't.
p.s. I'll try and dig that book out unless some handy American can put me straight.
Best wishes
Posted by: Maddy | December 08, 2006 at 04:43 PM
While I was lying in bed this morning, listening to the clock radio and dreading actually getting up, I heard the radio newscaster announce that there were only three shopping weekends left before Christmas. And, without even lifting my head from my pillow, I felt panic.
At that moment, I wished for radio silence.
Posted by: Meredith | December 06, 2006 at 10:37 AM
Hello Ladies
Today someone told me 3 simple words that you don't
often hear and it made my day. My daughter and I were at
UPS sending christmas presents. They
have a bowl of lollipops sitting on the counter and
when we first got there Madison asked me if she could
have one. I told her yes but only one. So she grabbed
one and ate it while I was filling out the paperwork
and paying. Well as we were leaving she loudly
declared she wanted another one as she was grabbing
about 4 of them out of the bowl. I told her no as I
pulled the candy out of her hand and put it back in
the bowl. Aparently that wasn't the answer she wanted
so I got a very loud pitched scream and a huge fit was
thrown. So while carrying other packages, my purse, my
keys, and My daughter's purse I had to pick her up like a
football and carry her out kicking and screaming with
everyone in the UPS store staring at us, some in
horror I am sure. As I was walking to my car a lady
exiting the UPS store told me "Good job Mom". It made
my day. As a mother trying to go about her day with a
child testing the boundaries, as you know we usually
get criticism. For all the times I have heard "control
your child" or "why don't you feed your kid, maybe she
is hungry" or the many sets of rolled eyes and clearly
annoyed looks I have gotten, those three words I heard
today cancel all that out. I just wanted to share my
joyful experience today with you ladies and pass on
three words
GOOD JOB MOM
That was my silent night. I hope you all find yours.
Posted by: kristi | December 04, 2006 at 11:29 PM
Thanks for sharing. It was beautiful. Family and friends - relationships - are so much more important than gift giving and receiving. If only we would remember that!
Posted by: HeatherC | December 04, 2006 at 08:48 PM
lovely, amanda....just lovely!
Posted by: amy h. | December 04, 2006 at 02:37 PM