Forgiveness Pants

By Christine

You know those mom moments no Hallmark card ad would ever reveal? The times you're dangling by a thread, yet another child has come down with that icky thing going around, and you've had to rearrange your plans? Again. The clock is ticking before you're out of town, the car needs repairing, paperwork for your son's subisdized tutoring is due, and you can't find a babysitter? The days you decide to commit the lesser evil and leave your ailing child home while you dash out for an hour, only to be "caught" by a neighbor and be called a neglectful mother?

I've had one of those days. And what you need most on days like these is a pair of forgiveness pants. I have several pairs, just in case one is in the wash. They're fleece, designed to block the chilly, early Spring winds caressing our front door, and they never ever clutch like a needy child does. They're stylish enough to be fashionable with just the right top. And no one except you knows you've decided today is the day to wear them when the going gets tough.

The choice was simple: Either I squeeze into my hot mama Levi's for an hour of errand-running, or I leave on my white polar fleece pants to do the same. I was fed up with trying to be hot when I'm definitely not (today), trying to leave an impression of "She's so got it together" (an attitude that quickly bleeds into envy and gossip as to why that should be so), and attempting to actually look good when all I felt was bad.

Perhaps it is that time of the month when my rose-colored glasses turn a shade paler than usual. The girth of my belt needs an extra notch to accommodate a bloated belly tired of standing at attention in public. Today I am a blowfish riding the wave of a perfect storm. So many hands reaching out who need me. So few hands reaching out to help.

When I was a kid, my mom would call her overwhelming feelings as a single mom of three daughters a phase in which "the world was too much with her." My forgiveness pants ward off the world the way a sentry would a thief.

They offer me comfort that the world will ease off soon. In the meantime, why not enjoy the soft touch of a little fleece until the storm, and all its detritus, float wiltingly away?

Christine is an American author and freelance writer living near Munich, Germany, with her husband and two children (Jackson, 5, and Sophia, 7).

Comments

[Andi Diehn]

About five months ago I discovered the magic of drawstring. I can't believe it took me almost 32 years to choose comfort over the variable opinion of others, but I'm not looking back. Forgiveness pants rule the closet now. Must find some in fleece...

[RobinP]

I just love this post.

I was thinking of the same kind of thing just yesterday morning.
Rich got a new job so he leaves the house at 6:30am now instead of 9am so driving Lillianna to school every day is my new job. No taking turns with Rich anymore.

Lillianna had 3 girls sleep over last night since there is no school today so I had some party supply shopping to do.

No time to shower before shopping!!! (This really shocks me because I used to shower,get dressed,put on my make-up and go to the dermatologist in my teens and early twenties only to have to wash all my make-up OFF so the doctor could see my skin!!
Then I reapplied it after the appt!!)

Nope...not when I'm in "mom mode"! I focus on the task at hand and if I bump into someone and I look like I just escaped from the local mental health institution...so be it!

Yesterday I dropped Lillianna off at school and drove to the supermarket in the outfit I wore the day before. I was unshowered and my hair was a mess but since it was windy,I let people think that was the cause of my look! I brushed my teeth so I figured I was ok.

I go for comfort on most days. I don't have any hotness to keep up with. You're lucky. At least you do have hot days. I'm still trying to figure out how to do that for myself!!

Anyway,I'm rambling!
Just wanted to say I loved this post!

[Antique Mommy]

Your mother and Wordsworth had it so right -- the world is too much with us indeed. I think we all need to be wearing forgiveness pants, if for no other reason to remind ourselves that we need to be a little more free with it for ourselves and others.