No fun at all

By Amy Heesacker

I recently caught my 2-year-old daughter redecorating our kitchen wall with a piece of bright, blue sidewalk chalk. While I might have complimented her boundless creativity or reinforced her newfound interest in washable art (compare this to her permanent blue Sharpie drawing on our dining room carpet), my exhausted, end-of-the-day reaction was to yell, "Isa, what are you doing? We do not write on walls!"

Isa's reaction stopped me short. She slumped against the latest masterpiece in her blue series, glared at me with all the contempt she could muster and shouted back, "Mom, you're no fun at all!" Aside from the fact that this sounded hilarious coming from someone much smaller than her teenaged words would suggest, Isa's accusation hit a sensitive nerve.

A few nights earlier, a close friend and I had been lamenting how "un-fun" mothering can feel at times. Despite a commitment to creating happy childhood memories, continually encouraging a positive self-image and attempts to turn life's little mistakes into learning opportunities, I have to say that mothering can sometimes seem a little lopsided in the work to play ratio.

After a full day of threatening to confiscate the coveted action figure d'jour if my kids couldn't cope with the five-minute turn-taking arrangement, negotiating the daily landmine of my daughter's determination to wear one particular outfit for 200 consecutive days, and persevering through the litany of requests to bend my unbelievably cruel rules of no popsicles for dinner, mandatory tooth brushing before bedtime and the requirement that my children be clothed before exiting the house, I feel deserving of the No Fun Mom award that Isa seems ready to bestow on me.

Still, I hold onto the hope that just as I remember many more fun-mom moments from my own childhood (e.g., sliding down our stairway in sleeping bags, the graham cracker and frosting sandwiches she made "just because") one day my children will fondly recall our rainy day picnics under the blanketed dining room table fort where we paused to admire the Sharpie artwork.

How do you keep mothering fun?

Amy Heesacker is a thirty-something SAHM and part-time psychology professor living in the deep South with her husband and two children.

Comments

[Alice]

I keep it fun by keeping myself happy. I keep myself happy by talking to you. :-)
Seriously, they are bound to remember the good times more than the bad, right? I sure hope so at least.

[ComfyDenim]

I'm surprised that there aren't more comments to your post.

I think the early stages of mommy-hood are just full of un-fun moments of training. I identified with your post in many ways. As a mom of 4 who tries to keep up a sense of identity and self and hobbies -- I have had the thought that maybe I'm just not fun anymore.

Granted, there are many times when potty training, or behaviour training just isn't fun (my 1-year old loves nothing more than to turn the TV on and off)

Then we have a fun moment in between school work, and training, and cleaning - and I remember what it's like to be fun - and not all business! I'm with you, I hope they remember the good more than they remember the non-fun. :-)

There's hope for me still!!

[cce]

I am so sympathetic to your feeling like the un-fun Mom. Take it from me, for the anal retentive parenting is just a big drag. I posted about a particular play date with my son's friend that left me feeling like I was running the Gulag.