Nursery rhymes for the new millennium

By Amy Heesacker

My son's first grade teacher has been using classic nursery rhymes this year as a way to introduce poetry concepts, and as a result he has had to learn the definitions of "Tuffet" and "Curds and Whey." Which got me thinking: aren't nursery rhymes overdue for an update or even an extreme makeover? What follows are some of my suggestions for making nursery rhymes more accessible and relevant to our hip and happening kids.

Little Jack Larpet sat on the carpet playing his PlayStation game.
He asked for a Wii, and his mom paid the FEE,
Now Jack stands while playing his game.

Little Miss Wooster sat in her booster, watching DVD's over her head.
When the movie got stuck, it was a stroke of good luck,
Now she looks out her window instead.

Humpty Dumpty skates up the wall,
Humpty Dumpty has a great fall,
But with all of his pads, and his helmet on tight,
Humpty's bones are intact and he's feeling just right.

Jake and Paul climbed up the rock wall, to see who could reach the top first.
Jake lost his grip and caused Paul to slip,
And of rock climbs -- this was the worst.

All around the preschool room, the boys are playing Batman,
The teacher says no more superhero play,
"Hey! What'll we play then?"

Young Emily Pearl was a very smart girl,
And a very smart girl was she.
She called for her Barbie's,
She called for her Dora's,
And she called for her Princesses three.

Myspace, Myspace, have you any friends?
Yes sir, Yes ma'am, I follow all the trends.
One friend's a rock group, one friend's my mom,
And my last friend's a really nice guy named Tom.

Little Mary Joan has lost her iPhone
And she loses it all of the time,
She better find it soon or her parents will swoon
And she'll be forced to use that ancient landline.

Hush-a-bye baby in your new swing
I could kiss the person who invented this thing
But with batteries dying and your eyes beaming bright,
You'll be swinging in my arms all through the night.

Hickory Dickory Pog
Those mommies they sure like to blog
We all can relate -– being a mommy is great,
But sometimes you wish you had just bought dog.

Now you give it a try. What's your nursery rhyme for the next generation?

Amy Heesacker is a thirty-something SAHM and part-time psychology professor living in the deep South with her husband and two children.

Comments

[Generic Viagra]

Fabulous article! is from my Bookmarked!!
beautiful blog.. i like read this page. thanks and God bless..

[Lori]

Venti Latte Hot,
Grande Latte Cold,
By the time I'm through the line, it's nine days old!