Room Parent rant

By Julie Kirtz Garrett

"I don't know the sure path to success, but the sure path to failure is trying to make everyone happy," Bill Cosby once said.

Was Bill Cosby a room parent?

It's the time of year when the sign-up sheets for school volunteers get posted, e-mailed and pretty much pushed in my face at "Back to School Night." After a lazy summer, I always find myself wondering how in the world I can be a lunch mom, room parent, party organizer, field trip chaperone, team manager and homework monitor for my three kids -- and have a career or do anything else with my life. (Do dads ever wonder this?)

I know I'm just whining, because in the end, I always sign up to volunteer at my children's grade school. And every year I overbook myself trying to make everyone happy.

Still, with seven years of this under my belt, I have learned what to avoid. I am not good at organizing big school events, running meetings or raising money. I like face time with the kids (field trips and classroom activities). So, this summer I vowed to say "no" to room parent duty, after a four-year stint. Naturally, I got the call from the school's room parent head-honcho. And naturally I said "yes," I'll be the 7th-grade room mom. I didn't tell her I think 7th-graders should be running their own "rooms." And oh yeah, I signed up for lunch and recess duty too and to help with a few class parties and field trips.

The truth is, in the middle of all this school volunteer business, there are always moments I never want to miss. Like Tuesday afternoon. I showed up to help supervise recess. My daughter Audrey, 7, rushed at me full speed, with her arms out, pushing her way through the packed, loud playground chaos. Nothing was going to get in her way. "Mommy," was all she said when she gave me a big hug and then skipped away to find her friends.

I'm grateful I have the freedom (a luxury really) to sneak away from work and spend some time at my children's school. This may not make everyone happy, but it works for me. S

How do you handle the school volunteer push? How do you balance the desire to be involved in your child's school with your responsibilities at work and the rest of your life?  Do you try to make everyone happy or just yourself?

Julie Kirtz Garrett is a writer and television reporter. She lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband and three children.

Comments

[Nicole]

I was recently twittered this great article on room parenting.
http://blog.qlubb.com/2008/08/to-room-parent-or-to-not-room-parent.html

[Jonas Thom]

I am a techie parent. And so what I bring to the classroom is the online presence/tools. So I've setup a Qlubb for the classroom to manage the events/signup sheets, a paypal account and an email distribution list.

So though I may not be there in the classroom as I would like, I still get to play a very vital room parent role.

[Jonas Thom]

I am a techie parent. And so what I bring to the classroom is the online presence/tools. So I've setup a Qlubb for the classroom to manage the events/signup sheets, a paypal account and an email distribution list.

So though I may not be there in the classroom as I would like, I still get to play a very vital room parent role.

[Helene]

Though I think being a room parent does take a lot of time and it is tiring to listen to complaints/gripes, being a room parent also gives you the unique opportunity to really influence change for the better in your classroom/school. Last year, we heard a lot of parental concerns, ran online surveys (www.surveymonkey.com) We presented the results as a united front and saw some real changes this year. So though it was tiring and personally challenging (personal attacks and the like), at the end of the day, our children really benefited.

Because I work full-time, I can't be thre as much as I would like, so we use the Internet a lot for communication. I think I would be lost without GoogleGroups for email or Qlubb (www.qlubb.com) for online sign-up sheets. I can't imagine how they did it before the Internet.

[Angie]

I totally agree about trying to stick with your strengths, and I'm also usually the one to agree to do stuff I'm really no good at in the first place (sigh). Having said that, however, it's moments like your kid running up and giving you a hug because you're lucky enough to be there that make it worth the headaches. And with my youngest in his last year of elementary school, I'm going to savor that kind of thing, because soon it will be just a memory!

[Ginny]

I, too, like the face time events. So, I do library, picture day and hot lunch. I decided to help by being a room parent as I'm on my last kid and I have the time. I got promoted to head room parent when NO ONE else signed up to do it. Then I had to recruit. Not what I signed up for, literally and figuratively!

[Heather Cook, The Writing Mother]

My son is in grade one, my daughter is only one. During my son's Kindergarten year I volunteered with my daughter in a sling or in her carseat. It was only a couple of hours.

But gradually she began to get more vocal and disturbing to the class, so I stopped.

This year I've decided I'm not volunteering. I work full time (7 - 3) and then I write 'the rest of the time' as well as sell Pampered Chef and attempt to have some kind of social life.

I swore that I'd always be THAT mom, the volunteer mom, the PTA mom... but then they went and scheduled PTA during Grey's Anatomy.

If I overschedule myself, I am not a happy mommy. I think my kids need a happy mommy more than a volunteering mommy.

[Eileen Flanagan]

I also volunteer a lot, but I'm learning to stick with the things that use my unique gifts and avoid the ones than get on my nerves. For example, I no longer want to be the person people complain to. It just drains me, though I'm happy to help organize a service project for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. I believe that the things that give us the greatest joy are usually the ones that also enable us to be of the most service. I try to do things out of joy, not guilt.