By Robin P.
I hate change, unless I'm the one who initiates it. When change just happens to me I feel helpless and overwhelmed. So, when my husband Rich came home from work one night in January and announced that the pool supply and furniture store that he had been working at for six years had decided to close on Tuesdays for February and maybe March, my throat closed up and I was on the brink of an anxiety attack.
Rich would not be allowed to take that forced day off as a vacation or sick day. We would just have to lose one day's pay a week for two months. We were already in a tough financial situation and we just couldn't take this kind of loss. Then, after the first two weeks of being off on Tuesdays, Rich and a couple of his co-workers were laid off.
I didn't know what we were going to do. I was already working two jobs and completely exhausted. I didn't see how we were going to make this work.
In April, he was hired by a company that offered medical and dental coverage. I had been working at a local hospital nights and weekends for the past four and a half years because we needed dental insurance. I hated the hours and how much time I was away from my family but I had to do it. Now, with Rich's new job, I could quit the hospital.
I started this job when Lillianna was 5 years old. It was easier then because her needs were so different. Now at 9 1/2, she needs me to be home more. I have missed selling Girl Scout cookies with her on the weekends. I have missed birthday parties and family get togethers. It was heart breaking to hear Lillianna say, "I wish you were here, Mommy. You're missing all the fun!" Most times Rich and Lillianna were at my sister's house enjoying a cookout while I was at work. It just didn't seem fair.
Rich and I have been doing what I call tag-team parenting during the past few years. One of us is always with Lillianna but we are rarely both with her due to our work schedules. That was sad and frustrating for all of us. I didn't feel like we were really a family. We needed a change.
When Rich started his new job in April, I gave four weeks notice at the hospital. I also told my manager at my other job that I wanted to work additional hours there. I have been an ophthalmic technician for almost 17 years and I have had a love/hate relationship with that job. Since it pays more than the hospital and my hours are very flexible, I knew it was going to be the solution that I had been seeking. I decided to love it again.
Now I work five mornings a week while Lillianna is in school. I also work some Saturdays, but I'm done at noon instead of 7:30 p.m., like when I worked at the hospital. My mom will take care of Lillianna three days a week during summer vacation so I can work full days and have even more time with my family on weekends.
Mother's Day was my first day off from the hospital. It was such a strange feeling to sleep past 4:30 a.m. on a Sunday. I loved it! We ended up doing three family things that day. Rich said I looked happy and relaxed. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest. My new schedule is much more suited to my needs and the needs of my family. We can enjoy one another instead of running in different directions all of the time.
I went into a panic when Rich was laid off, but it truly was a blessing in disguise.
Robin P. lives with her husband and daughter in a suburb south of Boston.
Illustration: Scott Pollack
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By Meredith O'Brien
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