DotMoms

There are now 25 DotMoms!

Today, we introduce: Analee, Robin and Teddi. Please read their bios and their first posts below and welcome them.

Finish my sentences

By Julie

I asked the DotMoms to complete three sets of sentences:

Before I had a child, my mother...
After I had a child, my mother...

I'm like my mother...
I'm unlike my mother...

My best Mother's Day...
My worst Mother's Day...

Here's what they wrote:

Nancy
Before I had a child... I never really grasped how deeply my mother loves me.
After I had a child... I feel such an overwhelming love for my children, I can now understand her love for me.

My best Mother's Day... was three years ago, a week after my 2nd child was born. This year may rival that -- my oldest has her first piano recital.
My worst Mother's Day... was when I was 25, living in Denver working as a TV news producer. I was thousands of miles away from my mother and grandmother, my car was robbed for the second time in a week, and I had to wait outside in a foot of snow and freezing temperatures for the police officer to come take a report. TV news people are used to missing holidays at home, the least of which would be Mother's Day. But on that day, I really wanted to be home.

Helene
Before I had a child, my mother... and I communicated very little.
After I had a child, my mother... and I communicate much more often -- weekly

I'm like my mother... in my stubbornness and compassion for people.
I'm unlike my mother... almost every way else.

My best Mother's Day... was last year when my hubby and girls presented me with a special diamond ring.
My worst Mother's Day... was also last year when my 3-year-old daughter decided I also needed four poopy accidents to go with it. Just like motherhood, it had its up and downs :)

Angela
Before I had a child, my mother... was mean to me.
After I had a child, my mother... became a more loving person and a better grandmother than a mother.

I'm like my mother... in that I love my children.
I'm unlike my mother... in that I attach no conditions to that love for my children, and we're different in just just about every other possible way!

My best Mother's Day... has been every one when my children took time to tell me how wonderful they think I am... before arguing with each other over whose homemade card was best.
My worst Mother's Day... was probably one of the ones where I was all alone.

Robin
My best Mother's Day... has been all of the ones where Lillianna was old enough to make me something that I could wear (a beautiful pin with buttons, purple ribbons and silk rose buds) or that I could hang up (her handprints with a poem).

The Mother's Day that I especially loved is the one when I was 5 months pregnant and Rich and I flew to California to celebrate my niece's 5th birthday in Disney Land. On Mother's Day, at the park entrance, all the moms were given a long-stemmed red rose. Rich went over to get me one. When he handed it to me, I just laughed and said, "I'M not a mother." He said, "Yes you are." I thought he was joking. I said, "No, I am NOT." He put his hand on my stomach and looked at me. "Yes you ARE." I almost cried. "I AM a mother. Wow!" Up until that point I thought I was just a pregnant woman, not a mom!

My worst Mother's Day was when Lillianna was 2 1/2, and I was so sure Rich was going to have her paint noodles and make a necklace for me. He's an artist, so I figured he would definitely start doing art projects with her. He bought me a jewelry box or something. It was nice, but I just wanted a noodle necklace that my child made for me!

Martha
Before I had a child, my mother... was very proud of my accomplishments.
After I had a child, my mother... has never been more proud.

My best Mother's Day... was undoubtedly my first Mother's Day. Who can forget the first time you have earned that distinctive honor of being a Mother and having your own Day? Donovan was two months old, he and my husband took me out to brunch at my favorite French bistro near our house, and he was an absolute angel throughout the whole meal.

My worst Mother's Day... was also undoubtedly my first Mother's Day. The Quiche Lorraine that I ate at that aforementioned French bistro didn't go down so well, and I spent the rest of the day and night sick as a dog.

I don't know how to answer the "I'm like my mother/I'm unlike my mother" one. Honestly, the best I can come up with is that I'm like my mother in that I love my kids with all my heart. And that I hope that I'm unlike my mother in most every other way. I love my mother, no doubt, but I think I fall firmly into the "I want to do every single thing differently than she did" category. So this probably isn't the best answer, especially if you're looking for Happy Mommy Love posts on Mother's Day. ;)

Now it's your turn: Complete the sentences. And have a Happy Mother's Day!

Still more moms

By Julie

In addition to the growing list of "moms who blog" in the left column, there is a growing list of DotMoms. We've just added two more mothers to our ranks -- Angela and Anne-Marie -- bringing the total to 22. You can learn more about them, and their take on motherhood, by reading their first posts below and by reading their bios. Also, let me know what you think: Have we got the number and mix of moms about right or is there something you want to see more or less of here? Inquiring moms want to know.

Looking for advice

The DotMoms have received a letter from, Jenn, who is looking for a little guidance. Can you help?

I have just found out that my husband and I are expecting our first baby -- we are VERY excited and VERY nervous. The kicker is, he is self-employed and I am self-employed and also hold down a job that I commute to a couple of days a week -- I work from home the rest of the week. My intention is to keep working up until the baby comes, and then take a maternity leave, then come back to work. I'm only 5 weeks along, so it seems premature to tell my bosses just yet.

What I'd like to know, is, how did you all tell your bosses? I know that my schedule will change some, I just need to know how is a good way to tell them. I don't plan on doing it until the end of June, after some stressful meetings that will happen (more stress for them, not so much me) at the beginning of the month. And by then I'll be into my second trimester.

Any advice you have would be much appreciated.

Thank you!

Jenn

Click here to share your advice.

Everyone thank Shai

Thank you, Shai, for this great feature on Blogging Mamas at Weblogs.About.Com. It's wonderful to see DotMoms featured so prominently and to learn more about why other moms read and write online.

New DotMoms

Please welcome Jenn, Jo, and Martha, who have just joined DotMoms. You can check out their bios here, and their first posts below.

The babysitter blues

By Julie

For Valentine's Day, I bought my husband tickets to see Bonnie Raitt. Her music is the soundtrack for our relationship, so we were really excited about the concert this weekend. Until we realized we couldn't go unless we found a babysitter.

For years, we had family and neighbors around to watch Colter on the very few occasions we left the house without him. But last year we moved hundreds of miles from family, and a few months ago our most kid-friendly neighbors moved. So, for the first time we were faced with the possibility of hiring someone we didn't know to watch Colter. And I just wasn't sure I could do it.

When I was a newborn, we had a regular babysitter ("Big Dee") who practically lived in. She was with us when my 4-year-old brother played with matches, then died. She remained with us as a babysitter for years, interspersed with several "summer girls" who came from all over the world to spend June-August living in our basement.

When Colter was born, I think I subconsciously decided he would never have a "babysitter." But of course, life happens.

So, this week we got the name and number of a babysitter from someone we trust, and then we procrastinated. Finally, we asked a friend with sons Colter's age if she could help, and she was able to take him for the night.

So, instead of singing the babysitter blues, this time we'll be singing "Let's give 'em something to talk about."

Who babysits your kids and how often?

Loved it as a kid, hate it as a mother

By Julie

These are among my least favorite things:

snow cones

goody bags

Captain Crunch

Bubble gum music

Teacher work days

What did you love as a kid that you hate as a parent?

Dr. Seuss may mean more to parents than kids

By Julie

My son, Colter, who is in second grade, wanted to bring a blanket to school Tuesday.

Given that he no longer naps, I was unwilling to send his purple dinosaur one without an explanation. He persuadef me with this: His class was celebrating what would have been Dr. Seuss' 100th birthday and the kids were going to be on the floor, reading and listening to books all day.

Ah, Dr. Seuss.

He's often praised for inspiring kids to read, but I think it is parents -- not children -- who are responsible for his success.

It is the moms and dads who borrow books from the library, buy them at bookstores and read them at bedtime. It is the moms and dads to whom Theodor Geisel (Seuss was his mother's maiden name) owed the greatest debt, right from the start.

His work began with educational goals. He used a combination of sight words and words kids could sound out, all provided by his publisher, which helped children learn to read phonetically (taught as phonics now). And he helped move the habit of reading from the classroom -- and teacher's domain -- into the home, by offering a primer more entertaining than "Dick and Jane."

Parents quickly discovered his singsong rhymes are meditative, a form of verbal yoga for tired souls, young and old. They are much easier and more relaxing to read than most children's books, especially after a long day at school or work. And the repetition could make some phrases a mother's mantra, sticky like those songs you can't get out of your head.

My husband would disagree. "The Cat in the Hat" was published the year Gary was born (1957), and a few years later "Green Eggs and Ham" was released. It was the first book my husband read. And the last one (he found Dr. Seuss' language tangled his tongue), until he was a teenager and picked up "The Hobbit." He's still not much of a reader.

The first Dr. Seuss book I remember is "My Book About Me." I counted the number of teeth I had and explored my own home to fill in the blanks the book provides. Dr. Seuss helped me write my first autobiography. (I also credit him with being first to use the word "blog," which is how I write my autobiography these days.)

"My Book About Me" was one of the books my son brought to school for his class celebration.

Before he was born, we bought a set of 12 Dr. Seuss books. We read them to him often when he was a baby and then a little boy. But when he pulled out books to browse -- and later to read himself -- he always preferred books about trains, dinosaurs and heroes.

I don't think my son ever found himself in the pages of Dr. Seuss' books. And now that I think about it, other than the "Cat in the Hat," "Sam I Am," and perhaps"The Lorax," the books are primarily driven by the language, not by the characters. That may be one reason my son preferred that I perform them.

It may also be why I have so many happy memories associated with Dr. Seuss. The language stayed with me, even if the lessons (were there any?) never did.

My favorite Dr. Seuss book is "And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street." When I read it as a child, I lived in a quiet suburban neighborhood where nothing ever happened. And this book showed me something could -- at any moment, with no warning.

Maybe that is Dr. Seuss' legacy. Not that he introduced us to reading or to phonics, but that he can still introduce us to our own imaginations and encourage us to use them, if only as we were nodding off, into our dreams.

What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book?

This LifeFiles column originally appeared on about 70 TV station websites managed by Internet Broadcasting Systems.

Who will raise your kids if you can't?

By Julie

If Gary and I both die, who gets Colter? We've talked about this from the time he was born. Our parents were ruled out years ago because of their age and health. Our siblings were ruled out for other reasons. When my sister-in-law found out she wouldn't be Colter's guardian, she was very hurt and angry. It was difficult explaining our concerns (her family's dynamics, their parenting philosophy, religion, etc.) without making her feel worse, and in fact the attempts to do so permanently changed our relationship with her and her relationship with our son.

We settled eventually on a close friend, who then moved away. We've stuck with my friend and her family, although I've never managed to do the paperwork. Every so often, I worry about this.

Without documentation, would those who know our wishes step in, would a family member contest it, would Colter end up a ward of the state? And in the best case scenario, would he be happy moving to Pennsylvania and suddenly having two sisters (one he practically grew up with and the other he's never met)? Am I missing an obvious solution that would be better for him? How have you resolved this dilemma?