Mom in the Mirror

Just hit me, it'll hurt less

That's what Gary said to me this morning, when I was giving him The Look. He had just told me that he had not yet invoiced a client he worked for a few weeks ago. This is one of those recurring conversations we have had for the 10 years since Gary started freelancing.

Me: Have you invoiced yet?

Gary: No. I've been (fill in the blank) and haven't had a chance.

Me: You do realize we need the money, right? And they don't pay you until 30 days after you invoice them.

Gary: What do you want me to do?

Me: INVOICE THEM!!!

This morning, though, Gary was so familiar with how this would play out that he performed all the lines himself. I said, "You just give yourself the lecture. I'll sit here and watch."

And did he invoice them today? NO!

Spaghetti and guilt for dinner

Colter cheated on a spelling test today. It wasn't even a test, it was a pre-test. His teacher gives the class pre-tests on Mondays to assess how well they know vocabulary, and whoever gets all the words right doesn't have to take the test on Friday. She even gives them the list ahead of time to study, but due to the holiday and Gary's car being stolen, we forgot to have Colter practice them.

So, Colter missed 7 out of 20 words, and when they were self-grading, he tried to erase his wrong answers and write in correct ones. Mrs. Meyers caught him.

Gary made Colter write a letter to her and he had Colter list five bad things about cheating. Here's what Colter wrote:

1. You could lose a grade.
2. Cheating is like lying.
3. You are stealing someone else's work.
4. Cheating is not fair to other children.
5. When you cheat, you learn nothing.

When I got home, we talked about how no one gets everything right all the time. I told him that as long as he did his best, Gary and I would be proud. We had a nice dinner, and for dessert Colter had to write all his spelling words correctly. What would you have done?

The hand you're dealt

Colter and I played a bunch of card games this morning. We played "The Wild Thornberrys," "Safari Rummy," and "Fish." I'd forgotten how much fun they can be since we're much more likely to play computer games and board games now.

In fact, before we got out the cards we were playing a board game called "Brain Quest." The questions are divided by subject (Social Studies, English, Science, etc.) and grade (1st through 6th). Colter knows I'm not very good at math so he loves to ask me those. This morning, he picked a 3rd grade question: How many sides does a rhombus have? What the hell is a rhombus? I had to Google it three times to find a link because I couldn't even figure out how to spell it. I was a pretty healthy kid but I must have been out sick whatever year they taught geometry in elementary school.

Car-ma

We got home from dinner at around 10 p.m. last night, and within minutes, the phone was ringing. It was the police. They had found Gary's car not too far from here. We picked it up today and it was in pretty good shape; the thieves had punched the ignition, but there were no dents or other damage. They took all of Gary's work and camping gear out of the trunk and left a cigarette burn in the front seat. The creepiest part, though, was this stuff along the surface near the windows and on the trunk. At first Gary thought it was a lubricant the thief used, then he realized it was probably where the police had dusted for fingerprints. There's a part of me that really doesn't want to know who did this, especially if the suspect lives in the apartment complex next door. I know it's kind of strange, but I'd rather imagine a fictitous thief with a sympathetic backstory than confront a real one with his own particular history.

The stars inside

We spent a few hours at temple this morning, and the best part was hearing a Rosh Hashanah story about an apple tree who longs for stars like the one she sees in the sky, only to discover that she contains them herself. I originally heard it told by Peninnah Schram, who wrote it. You can read it here. It's a beautiful story any day of the year and for people of any faith. I'd love to hear what you think of it.

Erev Rosh Hashanah

When the sun sets, the new Jewish Year will begin. To celebrate, we will eat apples and honey and pray for sweet days to come (we might throw in a little something about getting Gary's car back, too). The holiday begins a 10-day period of reflection, repentance and returning to our best selves. I used to prepare by cleaning the house, straightening, and organizing. No more. I've given up the external focus for the internal. My looking back these days focuses on reviewing what I've written over the previous year. My writing reminds me of what I've learned and how much learning remains. Here are a few pieces I wrote:

What Homer didn't know about love

When gravity lets us down

From no-nonsense to natural

Running the neighborhood gathering place

Cleaning for the police

I was in the shower when Gary came in to tell me that his car was missing. I finished up while he took Colter to school in my car, then I walked around the property to make sure some joy rider hadn't returned it to the wrong spot. But it was gone. I called the property manager (we live in an apartment complex), and the police. And then, I started cleaning. It wasn't that I wanted to gain control over a chaotic situation. I just didn't want the cop who came to think I was a slob. My mother would be so proud :)

Cherry-Blast hair

I don't know what I was thinking when I used Colter's shampoo this morning. Actually, I do know. I was thinking it'd foam up like shaving cream and be a fun way to start the day. Well, it didn't, and it wasn't, and now my head smells like a jawbreaker.

8X10 smiles

Why is it that the child of two very casual parents wants to wear a tie to school on Picture Day? Usually, we're lucky to get Colter into a clean T-shirt and shorts before he leaves the house, but yesterday, he was looking for a button-down shirt and nice pants. Naturally, he didn't find any. We compromised on a red Hawaiian shirt and beige shorts instead, to go with the blue background that would appear behind him in the pictures. And they say women are vain.

Dr. Seuss on Blogs

I was reading to Colter tonight and discovered a story called "Scrambled Eggs Super" in a Dr. Seuss collection. It was published in 1953, so the next time someone wants to debate who invented the word "Blog," be sure to give him credit. Here's an excerpt:

Previously in the story: Peter T. Hooper is traveling all over to track down eggs for a miraculous breakfast he's planning to make.

"I went for the kind that were mellow and sweet
And the world's sweetest eggs are the eggs of the Kweet
Which is due to those very sweet trout which they eat
And those trout ... well, they're sweet 'cause they only eat Blogs
And Blogs, after all, are the world's sweetest frogs
And the reason they're sweet is, whenever they lunch
It's always the world's sweetest bees that they munch
And the reason no bees can be sweeter than these...
They only eat blossoms off Beezlenut Trees
And those Beezlenut Blossoms are sweeter than sweet
And that's why I nabbed several eggs from the Kweet."

I think Dr. Seuss was right. Blogs are frogs, hopping from one website to another in search of the best lilypad.