Mom in the Mirror

"How many can I get?"

My son has just learned a new trick. We're in Super Target and he's looking at some small sets of Bionicle masks. He asks, "How many can I get?" Before I know it I've said, "You can get one."

Notice he did not ask, "Can I get any?" He has formulated the question so that he is practically guaranteed an answer he'll like.

I think I have been the transmitter of this strategy. Lately, I've been asking questions like, "How many hot dogs do you want for dinner?" instead of "Do you want hot dogs for dinner?"

I learned this from my boss, who has taught me that it's easier for people to say "yes" than "no" if you give them a choice they can affirm.

At first, I was worried that this would feel manipulative, but as it turns out, it just makes both people feel good about the outcome.

Making the bed you slept in

Yes, I'm uptight. But that isn't why I make all the beds before leaving home in the morning. I make the beds because I want to start the day with a clear head and with the knowledge that what lies in front of me is just as important as what lies ahead of me. If I slow down to plump the pillows and straighten the sheets, I'm pacing myself. If I rush out of the house to get to work, I'm racing myself. And that's a race no one ever wins.

I'm OK, you're not

Colter was crying. He had just hit his head, and I responded by looking at the rising bump, holding him, and saying, "It's OK. It's gonna be OK."

My 7-year-old son responded: "No, it isn't, Mommy."

Flashback 8 years to the night before Gary and I got married. Gary's upset because my parents have been waiting at the airport for about an hour while the hotel shuttle driver searches for them. It's clear the shuttle driver is stoned just by looking at him, but if you need proof, the airport is in a small beach town with about two flights a day and as many gates. And my parents are not small or quiet people.

Plus, they're motivated -- we're already late for our rehearsal dinner because a November blizzard delayed their flight out of Chicago.

We're standing in the hotel lobby with friends and family who have made it on time, anxiously waiting for my parents to arrive. The stress is showing on Gary, who is thinking about driving to the airport to get them himself (or maybe he just wants to strangle the shuttle driver, it's hard to say). His mother pats him on the back and says, "It'll be OK."

He lets out the accumulated frustration of his 30+ years and yells: "It won't be OK. You've been telling me for years that things will be OK and they aren't."

I have never heard him yell at his mother before, but the next morning, I marry him anyway.

And of course, proving every mother everywhere right, everything was -- and still is -- OK.

Color me 100

I heard on NPR that Crayola is celebrating its centennial this weekend, so I checked out the company's website. There was a lot of what you'd expect -- history, coloring pages, crafts -- but also some surprises. There are e-cards, color quizzes that are fun -- standard and the celebrity version -- and some games, including a fireworks creator that was (sorry for the pun) a blast.

Saturday morning fun

I loved Schoolhouse Rock as a kid, and it has been one of the great joys of parenting to share it with Colter. I can sit through Pokemon, Yu-gi-oh!, even Ozzie & Drix, knowing that when he sings cartoon themes, it'll be the preamble to the Constitution, or Conjunction Junction. This site has an interesting history of Schoolhouse Rock and also lots of freebies, including downloadable games. You can listen to clips from some of the songs here, on the Disney site, and vote for your favorites. Complete lyrics were collected by someone at the University of Michigan.

Have you ever heard of Switcheroo Zoo? A young friend introduced me to it yesterday, and now my whole family is addicted. You make your own animals by selecting the heads, legs, and tails of various beasts. The animation is fantastic, plus you can print out the images, along with a story you can write about your creation.

A few discoveries

Thanks to Being Daddy, I have two new blogs to love: Fluid Pudding and My New Name is Dad. I've grown quickly attached to My New Name is Dad because (1) he's a journalist and his blog links to a columnist I work with (2) we agree about the family bed and (3) he was also disappointed by the father's behavior on CSI last night.

Sliced peanut butter

I must be really tired if the thought of making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich exhausts me. But Colter has at least 100 hours of homework tonight and Gary is out of town. So, I'm hungry for an idea my stepbrother cooked up years ago. Fresh out of the exclusive Culinary Institute of America, he thought the public would eat up slices of peanut butter as quickly as you can say American cheese. If only he'd gone into business instead of restaurant management, I would have had an extra 5 minutes tonight to... well, to blog.

UPDATE (10:30 a.m.): My editor (not of this blog, which has no editor, but of my biweekly columns) points out that researchers at Oklahoma State have test marketed this idea. Anyone seen it or tried it?

20 years ago this week

My high school reunion is this weekend. I'm not going, but I've pulled out my old journals to remind me of who I was back then. On Thursday, Oct. 6, 1983, I was already a freshman at Barnard, a women's college in New York City that is part of Columbia University. That weekend, I was flirting with Bronwyn (my Georgetown-bred born again Christian roommate) and David (the Orthodox Jewish boy sitting next to me at Shabbat dinner). Bronwyn came out to me that Sunday, and we were friends for many years. I don't know what became of David.

The interactive parent

The Rochester (N.Y.) Democrat and Chronicle has some very cool multimedia projects for parents on its website:

First, there's a fantastic recreation of a couple's first week with their new baby.

The paper has also created a neat interactive feature -- called "Smile for the Camera" -- that captures the experience (from a kid's perspective) of Picture Day, with audio and stills.

There's a guide to making your child a better student. Who couldn't use that?

And, you can virtually attend a local school with this special section on Aquinas Institute, which includes a game that allows you to match yearbook pictures of alumni with info on what they're doing now, the scoop on favorite cafeteria food and best teachers, and the day in pictures.

Under the stove

Here's what we found while looking for some missing game pieces:

A shrimp deveiner

Raisin toast

Green Beyblade

Lollipop

Chewed gum

What appeared to be part of a human body, but was, in fact, a plastic pteranodon wing

One of three missing dice

What's under your stove?