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March 30, 2004



:) I say your little boy knows EXACTLY where your strings are, and HOW to pull them!! ;) LOL


Should I start planning Lillianna and Colter's wedding? They sound like 2 peas in a pod! If I ask Lillianna to clean her room and she doesn't feel like it (that's almost daily!) she starts to cry, "I miss Nana.....I miss Nana...." My mom, like every other Jewish Mother, lives in Florida for 6 months of the year. Ok, on the one hand she does miss her. On the other hand...what a crock! What the heck does missing my mother have to do with NOT picking up her toys? Because it plays on my guilt and sympathy. Lillianna is very smart and as you know it is quite difficult to be the mother of one of these children because they LOOK their age but they sure don't act it.
This is what I do with Lillianna...I sit her down and say, "Listen. Missing Nana and picking up your toys are two separate issues." Then I look her in the eyes and say, "I'm on to you. You are hoping I feel bad about Nana and then I forget about the toys, right?" She nods. Then I say, "If you pick up the toys now then you can call Nana and talk to her when you are done." And off she goes to clean. This doesn't happen all the time but it DOES happen!
Perhaps if you tell Colter that when he is feeling he needs more time with you that he can just stand in front of you and say, "Mom, I need some time with you." Only you know what works with him. As for the guilt.......why feel guilty? He is with his dad when you are at work and from what I have read here it sounds like you have a good balance between work and family.
Throw the guilt out the window....who needs it?


As mothers, working ones or not; it is somehow our job to carry the guilt, it's our nature.
I feel it every day, and sometimes even worse when I come home and she and dad are having a great evening and laughing about some private joke. (shouldn't I be the one)
But on difficult days, meltdowns, when school work isn't done, or the attitude is showing, I am sure that it's all because I am not at home to guide her through all the details.
We're just normal moms, and kids will be themselves ~ good days and bad days ~ I think, with or without us.
Hang in there.

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