Love is the opposite of indifference

Colter's only 8 and I already feel totally unable to help him navigate his social world.

His best female friend is so fickle and boy-crazy, she keeps ditching him for boys who want to be more than friends. Her best female friend follows her. So, Colter is left to follow them or feel rejected or both.

Yesterday, they were outside playing hide and seek when the boy-of-the-moment started chasing Colter; the girl and her friend followed his lead, and Colter felt completely ganged up on. He came inside for a drink and when I asked him what was going on, he started crying.

We talked for awhile and he finally came to the conclusion that they just couldn't be good friends anymore. I supported him, so he decided to go outside and tell them, which he did. Then, he came back inside.

After some time passed, he said, "Aleshia follows after any boy who likes her. She's never going to find the perfect boy. And she's never going to stop looking." I hugged him and praised his insight. And yet felt so sad for him. What's a mom to do?

Comments

[Tiff]

Wow, he is already so insightful and truer words were never spoken. It's so hard to see them go through these issues. You handled it well momma!

[barbara]

keep on hugging and praising...and he'll grow up strong and wise and find him a woman who will appreciate him for who he is

[heather]

Sounds like you did just the right thing as everyone else mentioned. :)

[Robin]

You did it exactly right! A hug and kiss and an ear to listen. Colter is very insightful. This will help him through more difficult things in his lifetime. It's like being the only sober person at a keg party (been there, done that).He can see what most people can't or won't see. Not everyone stays friends "forever". It can be so painful but it's worse to not be true to yourself.
Hugs to both of you.

[Kath]

I pray I have the level head to handle such an event in my sons life the way you did some day!

[Amy]

I think you did exactly what a mom should do. Listen, hug and give a few positive words.

[Ayaba]

Colter sounds like a very mature little boy. He's already learning to separate good friends from not-so-good friends. I don't want to say bad because this just appears to be a friendship that he's outgrown and they were obviously friends for a reason - even if it was only to learn thislesson.

Unfortunately many adults haven't learned to cut their friendship losses when they can and are confused when they find themselves in emotionally and physically draining relationships.

Luckily Colter islearning this skill early and will beable to reap the benefits of said knowledge in the upcoming years.