I've been surprised by birthday parties twice in my life and hated both. I've thrown several surprise parties for others and loved the experience. I can only assume this discrepancy reflects my desire -- my NEED -- to control events, and if I can't control them to at least know what's going to happen and when.
So it surprised me to discover this week how much fun the unexpected can be.
First, a late birthday package arrived from a friend. It contained this computer monitor mobile that I'd seen while shopping with her during a recent visit. I wanted it so badly, at the time, but couldn't bring myself to buy it. Receiving it unexpectedly was such a thrill because it reminded me of how attentive she is and plus, I LOVE IT in a way I wouldn't if I had simply bought it when the impulse struck.
Then, I arrived home Friday afternoon to an excited Colter and Gary who asked me to close my eyes and be guided into the study, where they showed me some wooden bookshelves they'd built for the computer area. (Do you detect a theme? My life revolves around computers.) It was all the more thrilling because I had no idea Gary actually heard me complain about how messy that space had become and because they built them TOGETHER while Colter was home sick (imagine how healing it was for him to use a power drill for the first time).
OK, you say, it's easy to enjoy GOOD surprises. Maybe for others, but not always for me. And anyway, it was my reaction to this week's unpleasant surprise that surprised me the most.
I have been watching one of my front tires lose air for the last few months. I fill it once in a while and try to remember I need to get it replaced, but: no urgency, no action. So, I spent Saturday morning at Barnes and Noble doing my usual browsing and buying while Gary and Colter sorted through Yu-Gi-Oh cards at home. When I was done, I got in my car, started to leave the parking lot, and bump-bump-bump. I calmly re-parked the car and got out to see the front tire entirely flat.
Now, I could have spent the rest of the day engaged in self-loathing -- after all, I KNEW this was going to happen at some point and didn't prevent it. Instead, I called Gary and let him know what had happened. I returned to Barnes & Noble and asked about a tire place nearby that Gary had called for me, and they kindly advised me to head somewhere a litle closer, just around the corner, in fact.
I did -- bump-bump-bump -- and was amazed that they were charging a reasonable price for two new front tires and there was no wait. Gary and Colter arrived soon after I settled in the waiting area and before long we were back on the road, headed to a comic book store Colter had been wanting to check out.
Which is all a long way of saying: there's a freedom and excitement in not knowing and I'm learning to love it.
Oh I just love your outlook on life, Julie. This is a perfect example. I think you and I have some key traits in common. I have the same tendancy towards controlling even the small aspects in my life. To look at your tire experience as sort of liberating is a good lesson in perspetive to a person like me. Good for you! Great post!
Posted by: Jo | June 27, 2004 at 09:08 PM
What a great way to look at all of it. I love surprises myself. :) My hubby always wants to know ahead of time but I'd rather not know at all. :) What a couple of neat presents.
Posted by: Tiff | June 27, 2004 at 02:52 PM
I picked up on a word in your posting, "CALM" "calmly reparked the car." How much different life looks when you are calm. A couple years ago at church outing (see my blog for a reference..)I noticed some nasty rotating clouds over us. We were told to gather in the basement because of reports of a tornado headed our way. I was totally freaked out, and it took a kindly old missionary lady to tell stories and have us join her in songs for me to calm down.
This year I saw some nasty rotating clouds pass over us, and because I stayed calm, I actually watched in wonder as the clouds twisted and danced over our heads.
Life is so much better when one is calm.
Posted by: VJ | June 27, 2004 at 09:49 AM