"Nest to impress"

An article in The Arizona Republic captures a consumer craze that will be responsible for $3 billion in baby expenses by 2006, according to a New York market research company cited in the piece.

Do you know this baby?

In a day of working moms with more money and a little absentee guilt, of older parents who are rested, invested and now cashing in on $799 sleigh cribs at Pottery Barn Kids, many babies are born with silver spoons in their mouth, indeed. They sleep (and drool) on $1,300 silk crib bedding. They're wheeled about in $729 strollers. They dress in $207 Burberry plaid dresses that they're not allowed to eat in. And in one Ahwatukee nursery, the windows are covered by $5,000 drapes.

Do you know this mother?

Though this craze is fed mainly by disposable income, it also is fueled by something else: a little motherly competition. It used to be those silent, darty-eyed comparisons: My baby is cuter than yours. But now there are unspoken awards for best nest, with women hosting showers to unveil their nurseries. (And, yes, these are at their own homes as etiquette is nothing in the face of custom toile curtains that need to be praised.)

Whose artist painted the best mural? Whose baby boy got the $49 Gymboree peacoat (that he will wear twice)? And, of course, props to she who has best replicated Pottery Barn Kids, the store and catalog that causes estrogen to rise with every turn of the page. (About 68,000 moms signed up for the gift registry there last year.) In those nurseries, the diaper pail is always empty, the laundry magically done, and Mom surely got eight hours of sleep. Who wouldn't want to buy into that? ...

(A downside of the motherly competition: You also compete with yourself. Was Petite Chateau in Phoenix doing the Tuscan crib with your first one? And had you seen the $1,175 round crib in Scottsdale's Baby Couture and Caviar Kids?)

Is she you?

Comments

[Betty]

Nope, that wouldn't be me at all. I try to be as frugal as possible with my hard-earned money so that I can get the most value out of it. Probably the most expensive thing that we bought for our 1st baby was a crib. It was $200, but we thought it was a good value because you could turn it into a toddler bed as your child got older. Ha! The crib was a total waste of money for us.

Neither of our 2 babies enjoyed sleeping in there, and would wake up screaming at the top of their lungs when they found out that they were confined within the prison-like walls of the crib!

With our 2nd baby, we tried to analyze the situation to see what was wrong with this picture. DH and I said, hmmmm, maybe he keeps waking up because he's bumping his head on the slats. So, we bought the cushiest bumper guards that we could find...that cost us nearly $100. Also, DH and I pondered about the existing mattress. Maybe, DS was waking up because when he rolled around at night, the mattress wrinkled a lot and made thumping type noises. So, we buy a nicer quality mattress...that cost us an additional $100!

Well, neither of these improvements made any changes to our son's sleeping habits/patterns. And, by now, the original $200 crib had now become a $400 crib with accessories! Look, what happens when you're sleep deprived. The hard-earned money just flies out the window. LOL. Well, we are now giving the crib away to my SIL who just had a baby. Hopefully, her DD will enjoy sleeping in there.

About clothes, we tend to buy our kid's clothing when there are good sales at GapKids, Old Navy, Target, Mervyn's, and LL Bean. I've gotten great quality shirts on sale at GapKids before for $2 a piece! I think it's possible to get a lot of nice-looking clothes for them without having to spend a fortune.

I also buy their shoes at Payless Shoe Source. I know someone at work who would never dream of buying their baby's shoes from a Payless! She would probably die of shame to see her child outfitted like that.

[Busy Mom]

Well, let's see. I'm sure we have some Pottery somewhere and the house often looks like a Barn...hmm...I guess that means I'm one of them?

[VJ]

Looking around the house. Table and chairs, second hand; keyboard, second hand, sofa and love seat, second hand; computer desk bedroom furniture, furniture clearance store; curtains, homemade; Tony's clothes, hand-me-downs or 50% off sale at Target; ten-year-old car, donated from the church....

I don't think I'm your person.

[Melissa S]

I fell into this world more when my first was a newborn. In the clothes realm. I've never been able to justify new furniture when hand me downs and vintage finds have so much more character.

I go to Pottery Barn Kids and Land of Nod for inspiration and everything else I go with what works best for us within our (non existant) budget.

I think it's less about competition though and more about wanting this life you've created as a mother to look like what you dreamed it would. For some people that dream is worth throwing gobs of money at, others deal with it differently.

I didn't deal with it by purchasing $5000 curtains, but I did find myself buying adorable little clothes my daughter didn't need because somewhere in those post partum months it filled a gap for me...the gap between what I expected it to be like and what it was like.

Interesting discussion. Thanks.

[Tiff]

That's not me but I know a lot of those moms. :)

[Terry]

I suppose if you're some kind of fantastically rich celebrity, such things are normal. But in the real world? I think not.

[Angie]

My poor children get hand me down everything. They only get new stuff on birthday's and at christmas or when they outgrow something and nobody else bigger than them has outgrown that thing yet to pass it down!

[AGK]

Most certainly NOT! Even if I had the money to blow like that, it would be on, oh, I don't know...four college educations!

[Robin P]

Wow! That is DEFINITELY NOT me! Even if I had the money to do it I wouldn't have. My sister did buy Lillianna lots of designer baby wear when she was younger and she buys LL Bean stuff for her now. I am a Target and Wal-Mart shopper and occasionally Burlington Coat Factory (which if there isn't one in Florida is NOT an actual coat factory! It's a clothing store which is higher priced than Target but has better clothes.)
As for Lillianna's nursery it was from Boston Baby. She had the Disney Babies theme. We like to keep things simple and focus on what is important.
Someone once bragged to me about their $700 plus state-of-the-art carriage. I didn't recognize the name. I couldn't even pronounce it! I wasn't impressed.

[Lei]

I think the same phenomenon exists with weddings. I can't believe people have $30,000++ weddings with hundreds of guests. We had 20 people at our civil ceremony and wedding dinner.

It's not that I don't splurge every now and then esp. on toys, but I believe in saving most of our money for education and other investments.

[Kelly]

Ah...heh...my baby sleeps curled up against my body most nights...she does have a crib in our room, a cheapo floor model from Babies R Us with cotton sheets and a bumper from Target...but she only sleeps in it at the beginning of the night. Our bedroom isnt' even decorated for the adults in the house, it's the hideous Vegas Red rug that came with the house...red white and blue wallpaper and dark blue curtains. We're saving for improvements, but believe me...they won't come from Pottery Barn anything...more like yard sale/estate sale...

but in my secret fantasy rich beyond my wildest dreams life, my baby's room is furnished entirely in goods from The Land of Nod. Shhhhhhh....don't tell.

[Helene]

Sorry - not here. My kids slept in a second hand crib pushed against the wall in the guest room while wearing hand-me-downs from my sister's kids. I know call me a bad momma for not setting up the perfect nursery or shoping for the full emsemble at Baby Gap. I prefer a good deal from the GW (good will) boutique -besides they onyl ending up soiling the clothes and sheets anywhay. :)