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July 18, 2004


Sandi P.

Hi April,
I'm a new blogger and have greatly enjoyed reading your blog. I, too have an 8 yo who is about to start 2nd grade (6 Aug). He rarely shuts his door (unless he's changing -- recently becoming modest around us all). But he only has a tv in his room for his video games/vcr combo. But I do have a 13 yo who (almost overnight) has started to (throat cleared here) ahh-ummm "fill out" if I may. I had to buy him some larger underwear this year. He's a very small-framed boy (75 lbs and 4'8"), so when he started "filling out", it was very noticeable very quickly. Anyway, I still have to remind him that Mom doesn't care to see him in the buff, so would he please use more modesty in our household. Come visit my blog. I'd love to hear from you. SandiP.


I don't knock for the little ones. I usually pop the door open quickly and yell, "What are you doing?" They laugh, but never are they caught doing something wrong. I do knock for the 14YO. I really don't want to walk in on him, and he has no access to computers or phones in his room, so...


Tony is five, and his door gets closed if he is in his room for disciplinary reasons. Otherwise it's open.

As for computers, he doesn't have one in his room. He uses mine (knows only to get to www.pbs.org through an icon on the destop) and Angelo's to play the train game. Other than that he doesn't play.

Side note, his late grandfather, before he passed away, wanted desperately to give Tony (then four) a TV for his room. Angelo and I both said "NO!" The only TV Tony watches is PBS and Little House on the Prairie. The rest are videos and DVD's carefully selected for wholesome content.


I knock, but if the door isn't immediately opened I want to know why. Our computer is in the den, so that we can always see what they're viewing. At this point, I plan on no internet access in bedrooms until college, at least. They don't even have televisions, other than the one Howard uses for his PS2, and it isn't hooked up to cable.


I don't knock, my girls always leave their doors open so there's really no point in knocking even if I do give the wall a tap to let them know I'm standing there.


I have to say that my oldest is 11 and she doesn't even have a problem with me coming in. I knock so that I don't walk in on her changing, but usually the doors are open. My kids don't spend alot of time on their own we do a lot as a family. I am sure that this will change as they get older, but we will always have popen doors in our house.


No,I don't knock for the same reasons.Maybe I will one day,but not at this point.


not anymore. i think i stopped when he turned 11...though every now and again, I feel like I SHOULD barge in. But he's the kind of kid who still outs himself to me all the time.


When we were younger (Colter's age) we weren't allowed to have our door closed at all. We got the this is my house and everything in it belongs to me speech. As we got older, privacy became more of an issue but I believe trust grows too. Plus my mother hated to see our dirty rooms.

I think younger children don't need to have their rooms closed. Makes you feel like there is something to hide.


With my younger children they aren't to close their door (ages 4,2,1). My son is 8 and does close his door. I knock as I am opening the door and he doesn't seem to mind this. I won't ever allow computers in my children's rooms for that very reason. I'm overprotective like that :)

Rachel Ann

Basically I stop going in when the child starts complaining that I' going in--though from an early age I respect their privacy when they are dressing or something.

Computer is in our living room; and we casually monitor it.

BTW, it might pay to keep an eye on Colter when he plays with this boy. One of my daughter's friends was playing these imaginary games which consisted of lots of blood. I talked to my daughter, and it became apparent that she wanted me to put a stop to the games, but couldn't tell the girl herself.


Jessica (11) almost NEVER closes her door. However room privacy rules changed as her body began to change and rarely is it acceptable for dad, and sometimes even I to "disturbe" her while dressing (at least without a "Daaaaaaddd! Pleeeeaaassseee!" As her room is at the end of the hall, even though the door is not shut, she does expect that we announce our intentions to enter.
As to the computer, it is in our den, in full view of the kitchen. If she ever does get one in her room, it will not be internet accessible.
(Of course, we will revisit this issue when she is say ... 18!?!?


Wow! Good question. The computer is in my bedroom so there is no privacy for Lillianna there at all. Plus at age 6 she is really interested in Kim Possible, Raven and Hilary Duff. She wouldn't "find" a website like that unless someone showed it to her. It is scary what kids find online.

When Lillianna wants privacy she writes a little note on her door for me to knock first. Her door doesn't even close all the way due to the big shelf thingy I have hanging on the back of her door. But it makes her happy and I don't mind.

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