How did you learn about sex?

I remember being 4 or 5 when my mother read me the book, "Where did I come from?" to teach me about reproduction.

I looked at it a few years ago when Colter started showing interest in his own body, but decided to get him something else instead. Together, we read "What's the big secret?"

The book is by Marc Brown, who created "Arthur," and his wife, who is an educator. It is part of their series "Dino Guides to Family Life," which also includes books on death and friendship that we've read.

What I like about "What's the big secret?" is that it covers a wide range of topics, some of which we could skip and return to when Colter's older.

So, he's understood for years the mechanics of how babies are made. What I wonder now is how in the world I'm going to help him learn about relationships when I'm still learning so much.

How did you teach your kids about sex and relationships? How did you learn?

Comments

[VJ]

I haven't said anything to Tony verbally, though I have written in his journal statements about why we haven't been able to have anymore children. Of course this doesn't answer "the" question, but as he matures, the questions and answers will come.

As for me, I don't really remembering my parents saying anything to me.

I went to a boarding (NOT co-ed dorms, but a co-ed school) high school, and frankly, I really don't remember much talk there, either. I guess it was in middle school science classes, and high school child development classes, I learned what I needed to know.

[shelli]

I learned around 6 my mother had a few books none targetted for kids. Funny thing several years ago she gave me those books so I can give my kids the talk. I think, threw them out- opting for when the time is right for books geered more for kids.
Otherwise...you don't want to know..trust me you don't
When I was a teenager-myself and girlfriends compared notes.

[Angie]

I just had this talk with my two oldest girls a few weeks ago. I was just honest and told them everything. When they got to the part about masturbation, Brittany asked me how to do that annd I said if they could figure that one out on their own they didn't need to be doing it. My mom had the same talk with me, only her drawings were better because she is an artist.

[Lei]

I don't recall my parents ever saying anything specific to me. I read my dad's college biology text when I was in junior high and got the idea from there. Although I misread something from that book that stayed with me for a long time - I thought the book said that Asian women tend to have large breasts when it actually said that African women have larger breasts. For years I wondered why I, of Chinese descent, had such small ones. :P Wonder what else I misread?

[Michelle]

Talking about sex has never been a big deal. I just hope and pray that my children do not follow in my footsteps with relationships...I have not done well in that area. At least I'm not so far in denial that I can't talk about it with them.

--Liz Taylor

[April]

Um, I was taught by my Grandmother. She told me, "men only want one thing and you should tell them not until you're married." That was the basic idea until I met hubby, course we didn't marry before but. I am going to teach my kids by publishing my blog. When they turn 16, they will get a copy of the Piss, Puke and Poop Chronicles and hopefully, this will detour them for atleast a few years. I want them to know, first hand experience what raising kids are like. What better way to learn than with a true, daily chronicle?

[emily]

We are working on that here now.No fun at all.

[Robin]

I haven't started to think about this topic yet, so thanks for another thought-provoker. I think when I was 10 my parents gave me a very technical medical type of book to read about "the facts" of life.

[AGK]

Ahem...I learned from my boyfriend, which led to becoming a mommy so young. I've had many long and frank discussions with my oldest son, and if there is anything he doesn't yet know, it's probably because I don't know it. And yes, that means we've answered vulgar sexual questions. We prefer being able to give correct answers, rather than him wonder and ask around at school. We have barely scratched the surface with our younger two. We base it on their maturity, and neither is ready for complete details...yet.

[Robin P]

oh, as for me learning about "the birds and bees" when I was a kid....nope. No one ever said a word to me.

[Robin P]

I haven't really taught Lillianna anything at this point other than I believe people should be married before they have a child. (wishful thinking on my part probably)She has never really asked anything!
My parents big "sex talk" with me went like this.
I was 18 and weeks away from going off to college. Mom, Dad, Nana and Papa were all in the living room with me. Mom began, "Uhm, well, you know, uhm, you will be living in a co-ed dorm in school and uhm there will be boys there you know, in your co-ed dorm.......and some of these boys will, you know, uhm...." and then Dad bursts in with, "Just put her on the pill and forget about it already." Finally it sinks in and I jump up and yell, "OH! You think I am going to have sex at school? OH MY G-D!!!!! Stop! That is NOT going to happen!" Everyone stared at me and said "Ok" and off we all went. I didn't start getting interested in sex until I was 23 so that was that!
I guess I learned everything on my own!