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October 28, 2004

Comments

Rebecca H

Jennifer,

I think that it's cute that your daughter wants to be just like her baby sitter, and it's nice that she is not growing-up ashamed of her body!

It makes me feel sad when I see women who are ashamed of their bodies and they feel the need to hide their bodies even though it's all females in the locker room!

In a completely innocent and non-sexual way nudity in the women's/girls locker rooms can create a nice female-bonding experience!

Jennifer

Our pretty 14 year-old neighbor girl baby sits our 10 year old daughter a couple of nights a week, and our daughter idolizes her.

A few months ago I asked my neighbor girl if she wanted to go swimming at the Y with my daughter and I, and she said yes.

When we re-entered the women's locker room after our swim our neighbor girl immediately took of her swimsuit and walked totally nude back to our lockers, and then she showered nude as well.

It did not bother me in anyway that she was nude, I figured as long as she's comfortable with it why should it bother me, and my daughter always sees nude women in the locker room anyway which is perfectly fine. But the funny thing is that now my daughter after having seen her beautiful baby sitter and friend comfortably walk around nude in the locker room, she herself has become a bit of a locker room "exibitionist" of sorts.

She knows that it's ok for her to be nude in a locker room where it's only other females, and never to be nude in front of any males. But it's funny to see how she likes to be a mature girl about locker room nudity now!

Well, at least it will better prepare her for showers after gym class when she reaches junior high and high school.

Robin P

Up until recently, Lillianna would strip down in her room in the morning, run to our room to throw her underwear in the hamper and then run back to her room to get dressed for the day. Rich in the meantime would have a heart attack. She's 7 so she was still at the age of, "Hey whatever."
Lately she has been asking for privacy when she gets dressed.Rich is quite relieved. We have been talking about staying safe and being aware of good and bad touches and knowing how to protect yourself so she is just creating some boundaries. I think it's time. She knows she can come to us with any problems or questions she has about her body so it's a good thing.

VJ

We haven't made a big deal out of it, but when someone is in the bathroom, we remind Tony that this is private time.

Angelo takes care of Tony's bath, and when Tony asks for me, I remind him that he's in the bathroom, so it's his private time. However, when Angelo's not home, then I have to do it, but I try to keep my eyes averted.

Tony is starting to remind us that he needs his private time, and if he sees me in the bathroom (because the door didn't get all the way shut) he would shut for me with a condensending look.

Heather

As you know I don't have any bright insights into parenting. However I do think he will be very embaressed when you tell this story when he's older! :) Good luck with figuring out the modesty issue. I think when I eventually do have children, many years down the line, I'll use your blog as a parenting how to though! :)

Meg

Eeek! My kids never, ever see me undressed. I have locks on my doors for a reason!

Generally, our rule is, "Anything under where a swimsuit covers" is private, and that part should always be covered when around other people.

betty

If we're coming out of the shower or getting dressed, we don't scurry to hide our bodies in front of our kids. But, at the same time, we don't go around flaunting ourselves either. We are pretty relaxed, low-key about it, and at this point in time, we think that's the best approach for us.

We have noticed though that our 6 1/2 year old DD is slowly becoming more modest as a result of a safety class that she had in school. They were taught about not letting people touch their private body parts, especially, letting boys seeing them!

Dawn

Better yet, how do you stop me from having a full blown panic attack? My son is three and we (we being him and not me) have naked time twice a day. He gets to play in the buff for a bit each morning after breakfast while I am getting showered and dressed. Then I clothe him. Each evening after dinner the same thing goes. He loves to be nude. Luckily, he is still bashful enough to not do this outside of his father, grandmother and my presence. Is this how it all begins? How do you find that balance you are looking for?

TW

Maybe it's because I have a boy and a girl not quite three years apart, but it just sort of happened on it's own here. Around 6 they each started to get a little more modest, and now, at 12, my son is totally into covering up. He can handle locker rooms and camp bathrooms, but seems to have picked up what's appropriate. My 9 year old is still more "out there", so to speak, but I've noticed she too has been getting more modest--especially in front of her brother, daddy, and male cousins. Part of this, I think, is that her whole soccer team freaks out if anyone other than a mother tries to even tuck a shirt in, so she's picking up that there. All this to say, it's just happened here, but I think having the different genders helped it along.

Elizabeth

Great question. Bear's 4 and we're dealing with this ourselves - when is it OK and when is it not? We have no clue yet. Please, if you figure something that works - feel free to share!

Shelly

We tell our boys our bodies are special and we do not change our clothes in front of others if we can help it. We gently launch into how we don't let other touch our bodies unless it is the Dr and mommy/daddy/nurse are in the room. It was easier to do this when Paul was little, but with my younger boys I feel uncomfortable and feel like I am violating their youth. BUT not teaching them, is not right.
We have them leave the room while we dress, but not always perfect. I have them barge in on me while using the bathroom. Some interesting discussions have taken place-oh boy!

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