The four saddest words

They are: I don't have time.

When I hear myself say that to Colter or Gary or anyone, really, it upsets me.

I prefer the double-speak -- "I can't do that right now, can you wait a few minutes?" (most often to Colter) or "I can't do it right now, how about (this afternoon, tomorrow, next week)?"

The problem is, "a few minutes" turns into an hour or more and if Colter has forgotten (or is he just storing the memory in his "resentment files" for years of therapy later?), then I often let it go and keep doing what I was doing.

Sometimes, I remind him, "Hey, we were going to play cards now." When the response is, "I don't want to anymore," I sometimes think those are the five saddest words I've ever heard. I feel like I've stripped my son of his desire.

But there's this: needs are infinite and time is finite. Measured in minutes, we get 1,440 per day.

Right this minute, what would you rather be doing?

Comments

[muse]

I almost did the novel. I even have a blog and name, but then I decided that it wasn't worth the time. Maybe I'm wrong. Or since I don't write fiction. So how is it going?

[betty]

Definitely sleeping. I just don't get enough of it to be able to function at 100% of my full capacity.

[Cassie-b]

I'd rather be at my Son's house, helping him with the Thanksgiving festivities. More folks pitching in, less stress

[muse]

I'd rather be with my kids, but the birds have flown

[VJ]

I should be planning a program for Tony's youth club meeting meeting tomorrow, and I should be putting a new song into the computer to transpose it for a clarinet player in my church's praise team. Instead I'm typing on my journal and reading blogs.

Thanks for the post, it will help me keep my years a little more open to what I'm saying to my son.

[song]

Right now i would rather be curled on the couch with icecream and my lover watching something romantic. Instead I'm broke, grumpy and alone reading blogs..... tomorrow I'm going to do yoga and spend lots of time with my kid.

[mandy]

I do that to my daughter all the time, and I alo feel guilty about it all the time too.

Right now? I wish I was with my hubby who has had to work so much the past few months I seriously never see him anymore. :(

[Phoebe]

I would rather be hugging my 9 mo than typing now :P Your post reminded me of my childhood - my parents always tell me that they do not have time and they will bring me out next week, next time... it never came true or i do not wish to participate anymore... guess i made them feel guilty at some stage too :(

[Cathy]

sleeping

[Amy]

Poignant. This is the bittersweet part of motherhood. We are everything and yet never enough.

[EJ]

Having coffee and donuts with Mary. Its our Saturday morning ritual. The only 3 year old I know that drinks coffee...I just love that about her!

[Janine]

I'm with you on this one. I'd rather be:

Attending to Hannah, who, in her Minnie Mouse-two-year-old voice, is calling for me, but it's Scott's turn to put her to bed. Apparently, I need "me time" - Scott's rules, not mine...

[bonnie]

Hot yoga and I'm on my way out the door. This intense exercise helps me to use my time more wisely and to be more grateful for my children and their endless requests. May you enjoy every minute of your weekend!

[Rebecca]

At home snuggled with my Hubby. And a good book of course. ;)

[Genuine]

I love the Sunday morning family bed romp. The whole family lays in bed before breakfast and talks, laughs, hugs, and spends some quality time.

[beth]

sleeping, or reading

[Judith]

I would rather be sleeping right now but instead I am doing some work on my NaNoWriMo peice. All the kids are in bed and I know that I could do it during the day but I am doing it now so that I can do the things I need to and want to with the kids (they still have to wait at times though). Gotta reach 14,000 before I sleep, so have a good day/night.